But He Loves Me~~{Tyrus} COMPLETED

6

This chapter contains touchy subject matter like rape and suicidal thoughts. There will be a warning directly before that happens but if you would like to skip the chapter completely, I understand.

•Cyrus•
You see, there's this thing about love. A lot of the time, it's perfect. You cuddle and kiss and you act like you're in love. But, in some instances, you hurt each other. It's still love, you still love each other. It's just...tough love.
It's one emotional form of love that people in this world view as bad. They view it as abusive and cruel. I used to view it that way too, until I started living it.

When I was little, I always dreamt of the perfect guy. He would be my Prince Charming and save me from the awful world. But, I didn't get Prince Charming. I got Jonah Beck. Which, in my eyes, is what I deserve to get. Jonah can be sweet, but....he has his off days.

It's been a few weeks since the first time he hit me. He apologized. Then he hit me again. It wasn't hard or anything, just a slap in the face here and there. Again, tough love. That's all it is. I've grown used to it by now, not really responding to the stinging in my cheek or the way he yells at me.

"Hey, Bambi!" TJ yelled, running to catch up with me. He smiled down at me, causing me to smile up at him.
"Hey, Baloo." His arm linked with mine. Thank god Jonah wasn't in school today; he has a doctors appointment.
"How is your morning going?" Not so great.
"Good. How 'bout you?"
"I'm doing alright. So, I've been meaning to ask you something." I nodded, feeling him pull me into the bathroom. Once we were in, he shut and locked the door after checking that no one else was there.

      "Did you and Jonah have sex?" He questioned softly, looked down at his shoes.
"No. Nothing of the sort. Why would you even think I would do that?" Hurt flashed over my eyes for a brief second.
"I didn't. I never believed the rumor. But, then Jonah started confirming it. I didn't understand why he would lie about something like that." The pain was back in my eyes. He made me out to be a whore, didn't he?
"How many times?" Tears were in my eyes.
"What?"
"How many times did he say we...we..." I trailed off, hoping he would get it.
"Twenty." TJ whispered, hoping not to get yelled at.
"Twenty times?!" I yelled, TJ flinching. Only then did I realize the light purple bruise on his cheek.
"Please don't yell at me. I didn't start the rumor." He pleaded softly, staring at the floor.
"I'm sorry, I know. I'll talk to him later and have him shut it down." TJ nodded.
"Thank you."

               I moved closer to him, moving his face to look at me. I looked at his eyes, they were no longer a blue-green sea I could get lost in. They were bloodshot and he had a few small cuts on the back of his neck. He had a light bruise on the soft skin of his cheek, his lip a little cut up. I didn't notice earlier, I usually don't notice imperfections on TJ. Every time I look at him I see him, not the things that torture his mind. Although, I haven't seen him like this in a while. I haven't seen him like this since-

       "He tried to touch her." TJ whispered. It was long after the bell rang, but he's more important.
"Who?" He looked down again.
"My mom's boyfriend." A new one? She only lost the last one a week ago.
"Okay, and who did he try to touch?" Please don't be who I think it is.
"Perverted fuck head tried to touch Lola. I couldn't let that happen." A single tear slid down his cheek, but he quickly wiped it away.
"Listen to me, you saved her. Everything will be okay. Is he gone?" TJ nodded.
"Yah, my mom believes me at least. She always believes me. I'm her little boy." I took his hand in mine as a sign of comfort.
"Then everything will be okay."

TIME SKIP TW: Rape

Kissing. I enjoy kissing. Frankly, I love kissing. It helps me feel close to Jonah, which is something I need. With every smack of our lips, every dance done by our tongues, we become closer. Our bodies and minds flush together to create something so beautiful and perfect. Kissing leads to love and love leads to happiness. Pure, wonderful happiness.

Well, until I felt him grind down on me. I have to admit, I am hard at the moment, but I do not want that attention to me. It's just a natural human reaction, it doesn't mean I want it. I pulled off of Jonah, my lips red from kissing so much.

"Jonah, I've told you before, I don't want to." He rolled his hips again, my heart rate increasing.
"Your dick is saying something else." He presses his lips roughly to mine again, me trying to push him off.
"Jonah stop." I said firmly, his hands dragging up my sweater and pulling it over my head. Tears breached my eyes, my breath quickening.
"This is rape!" I screamed, but to no avail. Neither mom nor James is home, no one can hear me.
"No it isn't. We're just having sex, baby. All couples do it." He tried to sooth, unbuttoned my jeans. His weight on top of me felt like a boulder. I couldn't breath as a screamed for him to get off.
"Jonah! Get off of me!"

       He only laughed in response, yanking down my jeans along with my underwear. I am no longer hard and completely petrified. Jonah's shirt was now off, his dick hard against my thigh. Tears fled my eyes, burning their way across my cheeks. His hands went up and down my body as I tried to get away from him.

"Stop squirming so much you little slut." He snapped, undressing completely. He flipped me onto my stomach, running his hands over my ass and my back. I felt his tip enter my ass causing me to sob and scream, being slapped.
"No no no no no no no! Please!" I reached for my nightstand, trying to pull away.

I let out a loud scream as he entered me completely. This is love? Is it? I thought it was supposed to be happiness and cuddles and kisses, not pain and suffering. I thought I was supposed to make love to someone, not be raped. After a bit, I gave up. I stopped trying to move. I stopped trying to scream. I could feel blood trickle down my thigh and into my white sheets, the pain becoming worse.

The pain in my ass was unbearable, but my body wouldn't respond. My mind was trying to push him off. My mind was screaming for him to stop. But, my body shut down. I became limp as he fucked into me. I could hear his grunts and moans as he raped me. It was as if he was happy about this. I never even realized he finished, cumming inside me and pulling out, until he was dressed and kissed my head goodbye.

I stood, wincing at the pain I felt. I went into my shower, my emotions blank. I didn't have any. Pain wasn't in my heart and neither was love. There was nothing. It was white noise in Palace Cyrus. There was nothing to be upset about. Jonah wanted to have sex. We're dating, so I guess that means I don't get a choice. If one of us wants it, we get it.

I watched the blood pool at my feet as the warm water slid down my back. I sobbed loudly, pulling and scratching at my skin. I feel no emotion towards what happened, but my brain is on autopilot. I can feel his hands on me. I can feel his breath, I can hear his moans. I can feel him inside me. I can feel it happening again and again and again with no way to make it stop.

          Why does he even want me here? I don't want me here. From one moment to the next, everyone does what they're supposed to do. They hang with friends, they go to work, they...they have sex. They are wanted. I am not. It was just proven. I was used and then he left. He wanted to please himself, not me. He didn't care. He never cared. But, then again, I care about Jonah. I also care about him.

         Back to the topic of being here. It is coming clearer to me now as I sit in my shower, pain enraged through my lower region, that the world would be better off without me. Everyone would. Mom and James can have a baby like they've always wanted but couldn't afford because of my medications and things. TJ could finally be around Lola more. Buffy and Andi could deal with their own problems and not mine. Jonah could find someone else more worthy of him. This would all happen...if I was gone.

Word Count: 1,560