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De Todo

Just like I have one for pain, this one is for the moments of bliss I have sometimes. Also for the feelings I have about "certain" people.

I Can('t) Be Happy

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by Boss_038

by Boss_038

I can be happy

I can be happy sometimes

Right now, a lot of things actually bring me joy

I smile genuinely now

But sometimes...

That stops

Sometimes i'll be talking with some people, then they mention something I fear,

Or something I think about too often that I shouldn't

Then I shut down

My mind comes up with endless possibilities

And only because something was said and this time it wasn't only my mind

Because someone said automatically makes it true or more believable

Then somehow I hurt

My mind causes my own hurt

Sometimes the stupidity behind it makes me feel more dumb than I actually am

Other times it's just my horrifying imagination

The one that makes the most painful scenarios

So yes,

I can smile all I want

I can laugh

I can play

But i know deep down

I cant('t) be happy

Never truly happy

Not with my mind

Not with my life