Anna & her Alphas

Thirty One: Everything's Okay, Anna

A N N A

Sometimes you can't help feeling 'the grass is always greener on the other side'. I've been feeling that a lot lately.

I've also been feeling helpless too.

The march skies are black, rain drizzling down the window, reflecting my mood on this gloomy morning. Everything's bleak.

Today is the first day back at school for me. I don't want to go back, at least not yet. Not until my mum is better.

But I was forced. I am not ready to be thrown back into the norm, and accept everything and everyone's lives just to carry on, regardless. Like no one cares.

I felt like this five years ago.

"You alright Anna?" Louis looks at me from his mirror as he drives us to school.

No.

I shrug my shoulders, focusing on the journey of an individual raindrop.

"Are you even gonna acknowledge us this morning?" Brett runs his hand through his hair, sighing.

No.

"You need to speak to us at some point," Louis mumbles.

No I don't.

"Well, by the way, in case you are listening, you need to wait for us at my car as we have to see coach after school."

"Can't I just walk to the hospital?" Scrap not talking. It's time to talk.

"No."

"Why?"

"Because you'll be on your own, and its meant to throw a hail storm later," Brett turns round and gives me a look as if to say 'case closed'.

I roll my eyes.

"Cut the attitude. You've been behaving ridiculously this morning Anna, I thought you were more mature than this."

"Wow, Brett. I thought you trusted me, and believed when I said I wasn't ready to go back to school, yet here we are!"

"Steve and Mum wanted you to go back too-" Louis starts.

"No, Mum wants me there! I know she does!" I begin to get frustrated.

Don't cry, don't cry, I tell myself, that will only show them weakness.

"You can't keep skipping school, Anna, its the law to attend school. Mum's stable, and neither of us would be here if she wasn't. You have to trust us, Steve and the medical team, they know what they're doing," Brett says firmly.

"Its funny you say that, Brett, because you want me to trust your judgement yet you obviously don't trust mine."

"What are you on about? Of course we trust you," Brett glares at me as Louis pulls into a parking space near the back of the school.

"Well, apparently, you don't. Because otherwise, you would have trusted me to walk to the hospital after school to see my mum," I jump out, and slam my door not waiting for his answer.

I speed walk across the busy parking lot, dodging teachers, students and cars. I don't dare look back and pray they don't catch me up and make a scene.

I'm just so done.

When I thought my life was finally coming back togther, and I was starting to really enjoy living again, life throws a curveball like this.

-----------------------------

The day drags on, the others catching me up on all the pointless gossips, I wish all I had to worry about was Mr O'Meys physics homework or contemplating over who's dumping who and he kissed her but she likes someone else...blah blah blah.