Arranged (A Lams FanFic)

Chapter 8

A/n I shall provide you with some angsty fluff. Also, I think I'm catching feelings for a person I said I wouldn't catch feelings for. So that's great 🌝

John's P.O.V
What the hell am I doing? I'm sitting in our room with the door locked. I should go apologize. But if I'm being honest, I'm scared. What if he hurts me again? But he's not fully responsible. I played a part in this too. We're both wrong. I should have respected that he doesn't want to go to college so soon. But is that what's best for the both of us? "John?" I hear from outside. I almost stop breathing. "John I know you're there. Because I searched every room." He says. "Go away Alexander." I say quietly. I'm not sure if he can hear me. "John I just want to talk. You don't have to come out." He says. I walk towards the door. I don't say anything though. I don't want to be rude I just can't bring myself to talk. "If you're listening just know...I didn't mean to hurt you. I let my emotions get the best of me. You shouldn't be getting hurt because of me." He says. I hear his voice crack and quiet sobs from the other side of the door. "I understand if you don't except my apology. But I just wanted to say I'm sorry." He says before he breaks into quiet sobs. I take a deep breath and slowly open the door. The sight before me almost breaks my heart. He sits on the floor with tears streaming down his face. I've never seen Alexander cry but as soon as I see it I want him to smile again. "Alexander..." I whisper. He looks up at me and sobs harder. I bend down and give him a hug. "Please don't cry." I whisper." Slowly but surely he wraps his arms around me. "But I hurt you." He cries. "We were both wrong." I say giving him a kiss on the cheek. I hug him tighter and we stay like that for who knows how long. When his sobs turn to hiccups I pull away. My shirt is soaked with tears but I don't care. "God I love you so much." He says. "I love you too." I say with a small smile. *** It's been about two weeks since the fight. It feels like I'm stepping on eggshells. I feel like if I say or do the wrong thing we'll have another fight. I can tell Alexander feels the same way. He's been quiet. Which is very unusual for him. And when we do talk it's short and simple. But it's not awkward. Just unusual. But with it being quiet in the house, it's given me time to think about our fights. I'm pretty sure newlyweds don't fight like this. But we're only eighteen. We're still young and we have lots of room to grow. And the fights stem from our sense of trust for one another. Like the fight about Francis. Alex saw me being close to Francis as a threat to our marriage. And he didn't trust that I wouldn't try anything with Francis. Then there was the fight about college. I didn't trust that Alex was making the best decision for both of us. Now I don't know this for sure but apparently Alexander puts his work before anyone and everyone. Eliza would tells us about how he wouldn't talk to her for almost three days, just so he could perfect an essay that was due in three weeks. Just imagine what college would do to him. "You okay Peaches?" Alex asks me. "Yeah. I'm just thinking." I mumble. He lays down and sets his head on my lap. I play with his hair and we just sit. "John?" "Alexander." "I'm in love with you." "I'm in love with you too." I say booping his nose. He puts his hands over his nose. "Don't touch my nose." He says with a playful glare. "Why not?" I ask. He shrugs. "You don't even have a good reason." I say trying to move his hands from his face. He sticks his tongue out and closes his eyes. I smirk and touch my tongue to his. "John! Ew, what the fuck?" He says sitting up. I giggle and kiss his cheek. "You're gross." He says laughing. I laugh with him. Not just because of me goofing around earlier, but because it's not as tense as before. It's just like before we got married but even better. "Oh my gosh I love you." He whispers. "I love you too." I whisper back. "No but like, I love you more than how many freckles you have. I love you too the Moon and back. I will carry you across a minefield. I'll run around the world for you. And if I've made you feel anything less than loved I'm so sorry." He says lacing his fingers with mine. Never in my life has someone said something like that to me. And I don't know why but it causes me to burst into tears. "Come here Peaches." He says setting me in his lap. "I'm so glad we're married." I say through hiccups. "Me too." He says placing a gentle kiss to my forehead. So gentle I can barely feel it. "Never leave me." I say calming down. "I don't plan to." He says pulling away from me. For the rest of the day we cuddle. The only time we got up was when Alexander needed to use the bathroom. And even then I went with him. I hope he doesn't think I'm annoying by clinging to him like a lost puppy. But he doesn't seem to mind. "What do you want to do?" Alexander asks me. I could cuddle with him forever but I don't think he'd be down for that. "Let's watch Finding Nemo." I say my eyes lighting up. "That movie is for kids." He tells me. "Well then I'm the biggest kid you'll ever meet." I say searching for the movie. He shrugs and helps me look for it. Deep down I know Alexander loves the movie as much as I do. Peggy told me he can recite an entire scene from memory. And in about fifteen minutes when we have the movie set up and we're snuggled in a blanket, Alexander Hamilton starts to perform the entire boat scene for me. "Don't. Touch. The boat!" Alexander recites. I hide a giggle as he gets up and shouts just like Marlin. "Nemo!" He srceeches. "Enter weird Aussie dentist guy." Alex says. "Watch him get scooped into a bag." He says making me stand up. "Ale-" "Shhh..." He says putting a finger to my lips. I roll my eyes. This boy. "Wait for Dory to come in." He explains sitting back down. "Are you going to recite the entire movie?" I ask him. "Maybe." He says pulling me back down to the couch. Usually I would find something like this extremely irritating. But since Alexander is doing it I don't really have a problem with it. It's actually quite impressive. While we're watching the movie I can't help but wonder what it would be like if Alex did this with our kids. Wait, kids.