Arranged (A Lams FanFic)

Chapter 12

3rd P.O.V 
After Philip was born Alexander and John made an agreement to stop fighting. Or try to at least. They didn't want their baby to see them at each other's throats all the time.  "Hey I'm heading out." Alex said. "Um, before you go could you help me with Philip? I'm making dinner and I can't check on him right now." John said.  "Fine." Alex sighed. Alexander always left at 6:30. John didn't know why. He assumed he went to go see Maria. Or go to the bar. "Philip is in his playpen." Alex called out before leaving.  John finished washing the vegetables he had and went to go check on him. He was the one who made sure their baby was alive. He fed, bathed and changed him. And when Philip would wake up in the middle of the night John was the one who would check on him.  He wanted to tell Alexander that he was struggling. Balancing school, a baby, and job interviews wasn't easy. And the fact that Alexander acted like he didn't care almost broke his heart.  "Hi Philip." John whispered. He knew he wouldn't get a response but talking to Philip was like therapy for him. "Where do you think your dad goes everyday?" Philip blinked. "I don't know either. Maybe he's tired of me."  John didn't tell anyone about the fights he would have with Alex. He couldn't even if he wanted to. The Schuylers were at school, and his parents would be mad if they found out about the feuds they had. And Francis had left the neighborhood. John didn't exactly know why.  They got married to stop fighting. Imagine how it would look if they started to fight too. Maybe there's just no stopping it. John thought. The first time he would have those thoughts was the day Alexander hit him for the first time.  Way back when the first got married. John didn't even remember what they were fighting about. John wouldn't say it out loud but that was the day he first started to fear Alexander.  It got worse over time. Especially during Peggy's pregnancy. John couldn't only blame Alexander. He was a part of the fighting too. "What if we left? Me and you Philip." John whispered. "No more fights, and no more heartbreak."  The more John thought about it the more determined he was to leave Alex behind. He did his research and found apartments in his area and he found a cafe where he could work. "We'll be out of here in two weeks." John told his baby.  Before he left John decided give something to Alexander. He couldn't just up and leave him without leaving something behind. He decided to write a letter. He knew it wouldn't be as good as the ones Alexander would write but it would have to suffice.  "We'll be on our own in two weeks Philip." John sighed.  ***  "John?" Alexander called. He had come home extremely late. But then again he always did. He would always go to the park and just think. He thought about how much he hurt John, how scared he was to be a father, what his mother would think of him.  Tonight he had cleared his mind and came home to apologize to John. The only problem was John wasn't there. And neither was Philip.  He searched every room for them but didn't see them. He sat down on his and John's bed and noticed an envelope on his pillow case. It read For my one true love.  Alexander carefully opened the envelope. He scanned over the words and felt tears come to his eyes.  My dearest,  I'm so sorry for leaving you, but I couldn't take it anymore. I don't want our baby growing up in a house where his parents are fighting everyday or one of his dads leave all the time.  But you're Alexander Hamilton, so you know there's another reason I left. It's us. It's not just me and it's not just you. We both have things we need to work out. We're both so young and I think we got married too early.  I used to think we were like Corey and Topanga.  Alexander let out a little giggle. Only his husband would think of something like that. Is John still his husband?  But I'm slowly starting to realize that we're Shawn and Angela. It's just might be one of those cases where it's the right person at the wrong time.  Before I left with Philip I just wanted to put my thoughts to paper. And ask you a couple of questions. The main one being do you still love me? If you asked me the same question I would have to tell you I don't know.  Alexander felt his tears fall down his face. "Of course I still love you." He whispered.  I'll be back.in a month. Maybe then everything will work out. I'm still wearing my ring. I hope you still wear yours.  Did I tell you it took me forever to see that you left me a message carved out in my ring? 'To my dearest Laurens'. That almost made me stay. But we both need to figure things out. I left one in yours too.  At the time I didn't want to. But my momma told me it would be a good idea. I'm pretty sure you already saw yours. You're pretty smart.  I'll see you in a month my dearest.  J. Ham  Alexander put the letter back in the envelope and put it under his pillow case. He took off his ring to find the message hidden inside. It read Always and forever.  He slid it back on his finger and laid down. This is what he deserved. What did he expect? He was a complete asshole and this is what he deserved. Now he was living with the pain of his husband and son moving away for a month.  And it was all his fault.