Snowfall

Backwards

She longed for him, there was no doubt about that. She would watch him, happy, in love, living his life, while she was stuck forever alone watching all she knew die slowly around her.

Thalia Grace sat under her pine, watched Percy and Annabeth from her vantage point. He said something, and when Annabeth turned to scold him, he pecked her on the nose and then rolled away, Annabeth shouting playful threats and chasing after him.

Thalia pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face into her knees, silent tears falling. The goddamned prophecy took away her chance at love and goddamn Artemis just had to have a solution and the goddamn world just had to be oblivious to her pain!

She sat there, quietly crying, when she heard the sound of footsteps behind her. She froze, not daring to move, to expose herself to whoever had just stumbled up Half-Blood Hill. She heard someone sit down next to her and set a hand on her shoulder.

"Thalia." The voice was sweet and calm, like a small girl yet it had an undertone of strength and power. She would know that voice anywhere.

"Mi'Lady," Thalia managed, trying to make it sound like she hadn't been crying yet it was useless. Artemis sighed, squeezing her shoulder.

"You know I prefer you to not call me that."

"You're a goddess. Isn't that what you want?" Thalia sniffed, tightening her arms around her legs.

"You're a friend, Thalia." Artemis shifted her hand so that it rested lightly on the back of her neck, her thumb brushing softly over the sensitive skin. "My lieutenant. My equal. I do not require such formalities from yourself."

"I'm sorry."

Artemis sighed again, curling her arm around Thalia's shoulders. "There is nothing to apologise for. You have done nothing wrong. Now, why don't you tell me what has caused you such sadness?"

"It's nothing," Thalia immediately said, lifting her head to rest her chin on her knees, keeping her eyes closed.

"Look at me." Thalia refused, defiantly looking away, but Artemis gripped her chin and forced her to face in her direction. Thalia reluctantly opened her eyes and looked into Artemis's silvery yellow eyes. The goddess had placed her face merely a few inches away from Thalia's, seeming to enjoy the close proximity. "Tell me, Thalia."

Thalia exhaled nervously, tearing her gaze away from Artemis's and glancing down. Artemis didn't protest but kept her hand in place, lightly caressing her chin. "It's Percy," she admitted.

"The son of Poseidon?" Artemis asked. "What has he done?"

"Nothing," Thalia replied. "I'm being dumb."

"Doubtful," Artemis said. "I have heard many stupid things, and a girl as strong as yourself would not worry over such. I can help, Thalia. I will not shun you."

"I'm jealous," Thalia said. "Not of him, but of Annabeth."

"You love him?"

"No," Thalia said immediately. "Yes. I don't know. I have feelings, but I can't decide what to do with them. Quitting the Hunt over this would be pointless, he would never choose me over Annabeth, but I don't want all my friends to die while I remain."

"Love is not foreign to me, Thalia," Artemis said slowly, shocking Thalia, who looked up wide-eyed at Artemis. The goddess had a sad face of her own. "I once felt such a feeling. I have felt it many times."

"But . . . you're a maiden goddess?" Thalia said. "You can't love."

"I am not allowed to love," Artemis corrected. "No one, not even myself, is exempt to the feeling of love. Some just choose to shun it."

"You hate men," Thalia protested.

"Women must not always love men," Artemis countered. "I have had my share of female lovers over the years, though none have stuck. I still believe I can find myself one." The goddess squeezed her eyes shut, a single tear slipping out. She didn't bother wiping it away.

Thalia did, though. She softly swept the tear aside and embraced her patron. Both let out their feelings onto the other's shoulder, savouring the intimacy of being so close.

Thalia finally pulled back, pressing her forehead onto Artemis's. "Perhaps," she muttered, locking eyes with Artemis. "We could help each other?"

"I would like that," Artemis said, giving a watery smile. "I would like that very much."

Sometimes Thalia wished her life was backwards. Sometimes diving in headfirst was better.

Oops wrong pairing