Not Only in My Dreams

Broken Hearts

Y/N POV

"You know even though you are a vampire, I can always tell when you are in the room, Rosalie." In an instant, she is at my side on the balcony. I can tell she is not entirely sure what to do to comfort me. "I will be alright Rose, I just need time..." I reassure her with a small smile.

"Y/N, I don't know what I can say to help you feel better. You are far too young for this to happen. I swear we will find who did this." Rose says honestly.

"What if it was an animal, Rose?" gazing out into the wilderness. I feel overwhelmingly sad, but at the same time empty. I don't want to allow myself to think it was one of her kind that slaughtered my parents.

"It may have been, however, I doubt it. The look in Carlisle's eyes indicated it was something of our world," she states softly while grabbing my hand.

"You mean a vampire?"

"It could be. There are nomads that wander around looking for their next easy meal. And more than the majority of vampires are not vegetarians like my family."

I turn to look into her genuine eyes. "Whoever did this is going to pay. I will find them and bring them to justice for taking my parents from me." This is the angriest I have ever felt. "Rose, your eyes just got dark.."

"This is the wrong time to explain why Y/N.," she said looking down a bit uncomfortable. As if shaking those thoughts away she snaps her eyes back to mine. "Y/N, they may be after you next. Most of these nomads are trackers. To pass the time, they make it a game to find the whole family."

I feel terrible for thinking this but I hope my parents' death was quick. I don't want to think that they laid there suffering all by themselves. Most recently I found I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Rosalie, I can not explain why I feel so strongly about her but I know it in my heart. And in knowing that, I had already come to terms with losing my parents, but I never imagined it would be this soon. I also thought that one day Rosalie wouldn't want me anymore because how could I ever be good enough for her? 

One of her kind killed my parents, or so she thinks. If that's true how could I ever want to be one of them? I have so many emotions going through my head yet I feel so void of emotion.

"Rose, I need to go home. I need to get away from all of this for tonight. Clear my head.. and heart." I say sadly as I start to back away from her.

"Y/N, you don't have to go.. you can stay here," she says almost pleadingly. 

"I can't," I say in almost a whisper." I need time to think"

Just as I am about to walk out of her bedroom door and out of the house I hear a faint, "Y/N... you need to stay. You won't be safe. I won't know you are safe if you aren't right next to me," she says, her voice cracking.

"I can't stay here. Not tonight." I say. My heart feels like its breaking, but I know I need to be alone. Away from her world. After all, her kind is why my parents are dead. And with one final tear falling down my cheek, I turn and head out of the house. I assume the family heard our conversation and decided to let me be because I saw none of them on my way through the house to my car.

The drive home was filled with nothing but memories. No thoughts on anything but my parents and how they were taken from me so quickly. They never deserved this. 

I feel like it is somehow my fault. I led them into this by knowing the Cullens, I know the truth about what happened to them. Maybe if I didn't know the Cullens none of this would have happened.

As soon as I get home I go to my parent's room and just sit on the bed and let the tears fall silently. It smells like my dads coffee and my mother's perfume...