I Understand Now (Ricky Dillon Fanfiction)

Chapter 13

Ellie's POV.

I don't know what to think. This is an entirely new emotion for me, but I still don't know whether or not it's love. I don't know whether to be excited, scared, thrilled or all of them at once. I don't want to tell anyone about my feelings yet. I just need some time alone to think about this.

I'm sitting in my room reading a book, not really concentrating on it because I can't take my mind off Ricky. I don't really mind, because I've read this book about a million times. I just read it again and again because I've figuratively read every book on this planet, and it's my favourite. Also, time passer. Also, distraction. Well, it's meant to be.

After a while, I decide to shut the book and go do something that will take my mind off the situation I'm in. After I walk downstairs, I see that Mum is sitting at a table we have in the kitchen, on her laptop. When she hears me, she looks up at me and smiles.

"Hi, honey," she greets. "Is something wrong?"

"No," I lie. I fiddle with the hem of my sweater.

"Ellie." Mum gives me a knowing look. "I've known you for 18 years. I can tell when something's bothering you." She closes the lid of her computer. "So what is it?"

I sigh. Ok, here goes.

"Ok," I say. "Have you ever had....had a feeling, like, that you feel like....you've never really had before? And...you're not sure if that's what the feeling is?" Mum stares at me for a few seconds.

"Oh my God, that made no sense," I say, covering my eyes with my hand.

"No, no, honey, it's fine," Mum assures. "I understand. Are you saying that you feel like this?"

I nod slowly. "Um, I think so," I reply. "I need some help."

"Ok, honey. What do you need help with?" Mum asks.

"I'm just so confused!" I exclaim. "I don't know what's going on. You know I've never been the kind of person that falls in love. But now Ricky's come along, and everything's changed, and..and I love him, but I hate him, and....ugh!" I put my hands on my head in frustration. I almost feel like I'm about to cry.

"Ellie, relax," Mum said. "Love is a difficult feeling to control or certify. I know how you feel-this has happened to me before. You just need to try and stay calm, and we can work this out if we talk over it." I nod again.

"There's something else I wanted to tell you," I add while I can remember.

"Oh?" Mum looks interested. I walk towards her, sit next to her and tell her everything about Jen, what she said and Sarah. When I finish speaking, she sits back a little.

"Okay honey," she begins. "I understand that this is difficult for you. It wouldn't be a good idea to let this Sarah girl know about the situation, but one way to solve your problems is to talk about them. I know you definitely don't want to let your teachers know, so I think you should talk to Jen."

"Mum, no!" I insist. "She'll go crazy. She always does this when she thinks I finally love someone."

"I know it sounds like a bad idea, but it might be your only option," she informs me.

"No, no, surely there's another way," I say, shaking my head. "Ricky said he was gonna work out a plan so that Jen thinks he's just broken up with his girlfriend. But I don't know how he's gonna do that before Jen has a chance to speak to Sarah."

"I'm sure he'll work something out," Mum assures me. "Maybe you should talk to him about it and see what he wants to do."

That sounds like a good idea. I nod and reply, "Yeah, I'll do that."

...

"Hello?" I am relieved to hear Ricky's voice on the other end of the phone after a few moments. Not that I wasn't expecting to.

"Hey Ricky, it's me, Ellie," I say, even though he knows who it is. "Do you know what you need to do?"

"Yep," he replies with confidence. "I just told Jen I accidentally declined her friend request, and sent her one, which she accepted." My heart thumps, but I know it's what we need.

"Okay," I say. "And?"

"So I updated my status to something that makes it seem like I just broke up with a girl," he continues. I was wondering about that, I think to myself.

"And hopefully she'll see it, and we can make sure she distances herself when we get to school tomorrow."

"Cool," I sigh in relief. "I think this is gonna work."

"It is gonna work," Ricky corrects me. "I know it will."

"I wish I could be as confident as you are right now," I admit. That sets us both laughing.

"We'll be fine," he assures me again. "See ya, Ellie."

"Bye," I laugh before hanging up. A few minutes after I do so, my phone starts ringing again. I smile to myself, thinking it's Ricky again. My smile drops as I look at my phone screen and see that it's Jen.

Something gives me the feeling this isn't gonna go well.