Caving In

12. It's Hard to Breathe

Song: Dancing With The Devil

Artist: Set It Off

Friday, April 10

*Beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*...

That's all I hear as I fall. Falling forever, never stopping. Until I woke up with a gasp and a mini heart attack. The room was dark, and the only thing producing light was a little lamp in the corner, on top of a cabinet. I looked around me, and by the time I fully woke up, I knew I was in the hospital. 

"Did... It not... Work..?" I tried to speak, but it came out as deep ragged breaths. I tried again.

"Did... It... Not work?" I dug my nails into my palm, but it hurt to do that too. I lifted my hand up to see a large gash wound that had been stitched up. Tears pricked my eyes as frustration consumed me. 

"Did it not work?" I whispered, but my throat was killing me. It hurt to talk, swallow, or even breathe through the mouth. 

I looked around me to find a clock of some sort. There was a little gray digital clock underneath the monitor.  In giant red numbers it read: 1:23.

I closed my eyes for just a moment, and then I began to fall again. 

~

I woke up again, this time at noon. Beside me was Breezy, who was slumped over my hand, sleeping, and Margaret, who was looking outside the window. I opened my mouth to say something, but found it impossible with the amount of pain I was in. I whimpered in pain, and Breezy jolted awake, eyes watering. Margaret turned around and looked at me, pity and sympathy were evident in her features. 

"Y'know, if you keep frowning like that, you're going to start looking like your grandmother." I tried to tell Margaret, but that came out were soft whispering sounds and a cough at th end. She stared at me in confusion. Breeze got off her chair, and went to go fetch me a drink of water. Margaret handed me a pen she had in her pocket, and a notepad that was on the table on my right hand side, where Breezy had been sitting. I started to write down what I had said, and shoved it in her face. She glared at me and turned away, looking back out the window. Breezy came back with the water, and made me drink it, despite my throat feeling like it was being ripped apart.

"Y'know, they had to sedate you yesterday. The moment you woke up, you just went berserk, went for the scissors on the table and tried to..." Breezy trailed off, re-encounting the events that I had no memory of. 

"I'm fine now, B. Don't worry about it." I wrote for her. She just shook her head, and hugged me again. 

"Why would you do that? You know you could have told me how you felt right? Instead of bottling it up. Now look where you are! You're in the hospital, for Christ's sake." The words I said when I first woke up played back in my mind. I could only comfort my best friend by patting her hand. 

"Well if you look at the bright side, at least she's not dead, so quit acting like it." Margeret sneered at her with venom laced in her voice. B glared at her, and they had their little stare down. I started writing in the note pad again.

"Who else is here, besides you guys? Also, quit fighting. You're making me annoyed with your bickering, Margaret. Breezy's just worried, and there's absolutely no need to throw shade. Just get along you two, it's all I'm really asking for right now." I narrowed my eyes at the two, and they both mumbled apologies to each other. 

"Uh, well... There really isn't anyone else at the moment. Your parents dropped by yesterday though, gave you a little kiss and a hug and all that." Breeze informed me. I thanked her silently, and sighed. Suddenly, Breezy's eyes lit up, and she bolted out of her seat, without telling any of us where she was going. 

"Well, good grief. You really scared me, dude." I rolled my eyes, thinking to my self. Sure she was. She looked at me with sincerity in her eyes. 

"I'm serious. You never told me you had violent and not to mention, suicidal tendencies. If you're not going to tell her, at least tell me!" I looked away from her. I wouldn't tell her, even if she was the last soul on this planet. 

"Do you know?" I whispered into the air.  My throat hurt, but she needed to hear this.

"Know what?" She asked.

"Do you know what it's like to feel true sorrow and despair?" I inquired. She nodded her head yes. 

"What did it feel like?" She opened her mouth, and then closed it. When she opened her mouth again, she gave me her answer.

"It felt crushing." She told me simply. I nodded slowly, relaxing my neck and resting it on the pillow, so that my head sunk into it.

"What you've done to me... It didn't feel crushing, no. It was worse than that. You've left me with nothing." I whispered. I closed my eyes, and focused on the steady beeping of the monitor. At first I heard a whimper, and then a shaky sob. For some reason, I felt bad for her. Everybody that's gotten to know me will always say that I'm to kind for my own good. Perhaps, that's what I deserve. 

"I'm leaving now. I-I'll be back tomorrow." Margaret said after a while. I opened my eyes again, and this time the sky was a dark grey. I wrote in my note pad this time.

"That fast? What was for homework?" I asked. 

"It's already 8'oclock, which means visiting hours are over. Today was also a P.A Day, which mean no school, which also means no homework. Goodnight, Chael." She told me, and then she was out the door. I didn't even have time to say goodbye.

I looked over to the table on my right, and there was a small box and a little note. It read:

"Hey Chael,

I'm going to stay at my grandmother's house, it's just down south of here, but thanks for telling me about your basement rental . You looked so cute when you were asleep, so I didn't want to wake you. I bought you 2 different boxes of your favorite clan from Vanguard, and 2 packs of sleeves, just incase you pulled something good, or wanted to make a deck out of it. I also took a trip to your home and snuck out your decks for you, just incase you were bored. Thanks for keeping your window unlocked by the way.

I'll visit you tomorrow!

Your friend,

Breezy

PS. I locked your window for you. You're welcome. ;)

PPS. Don't worry about the cost of these. I peeled off the price tag. ;)

PPPS. Don't stay up too late.

PPPPS. I found a really rare card underneath your bed, why would you keep it there?

I reached over a grabbed the two boxes, which were quite heavy when stacked together, and the packs of sleeves. I pulled the movable table by my legs to my chest, and put my things there. The first box was a small rectangular box which read: Rondeau of Chaos and Salvation. That one contained 12 packs in it. The other one was just a box larger than the first and it read: Vilest! Deletor. This one contained 16 packs. Overall, it was probably about $132 CAD, which was quite expensive.

About 5 minutes later~

I open the last pack of the Rondeau of Chaos and Salvation box and shuffle through the cards. As I near the last card, I catch a glimpse of some gold writing on the card. I quickly take a look at what I had pulled. It was the secret generation rare Death Star-Vader, Chaos Breaker Deluge. I quickly fumbled to get a sleeve for it, and looked at it in pure awe. I didn't have that card, since it was so rare to get (and partially the fact that I didn't have enough money, since I just spent most of it.)

Around 10 minutes later~

I opened the last pack of my Vilest! Deletor box, and pulled the secret vanguard rare Waving Deletor, Greidhol. Hot stamped. I sleeved the card as well, dropped it into it's respective deck, and looked over at the bedside to see a lone card sitting there, glinting in the light. The hot stamped Star-Vader, Chaos Breaker Dragon. My old trump card. My old memories.

Hope and

Despair