Song: Something New
Artist: Set It Off
Thursday, September 3
Another school year begins.
Another beginning.
Another chance.
Another 190 days to suffer.
"Hello, class! Wow, look at the lot of you. All grown up now. Grade 8 and 7, huh? Better work hard kids. Especially you grade 8's." Our teacher, Ms Venn studied each and every one of us like a scientist studying a new species. I thing it was safe to say my school year would be very stressful. I had Ms Venn in 2nd grade, and let's just say she gave me a very hard time.
"Let's see who's not here..." She started marking off the attendance. I pulled out a book from my pile of stuff, and began to read. It didn't take her long to finish, and soon enough, we were doing an ice-breaker activity. I honestly didn't get the point of it. We've known each other since 1st grade, there is nothing to break. It looked like Margaret and Bella were in my class again. How lovely.
Ms Venn set us off to our first assignment: choose three things to describe yourself. Anything would do. We had to make a presentation about it by the end of next week, so the lot of us set off to work. Thank god Seria wasn't in my class, otherwise I would never get anything done.
The three things I wrote down were: my name, my sexuality, and my hobbies. It didn't very long for Ms Venn to walk over to my name and point out why I wrote "sexuality" on my paper.
"Well, normally people just assume "oh, this person's probably straight." But, spoiler alert, I'm not. I'm pansexual. I know, wow! The most violent person in this school can be attracted to anybody, regardless of gender! Surprising, I know." A 7th grader boy audibly gasped and blurted out "ew." Our teacher snapped her head his way, and glared at him.
"Stephan, please grow up. It's not the 1900's, okay? It is okay for a boy to like a boy, or a girl to like a girl. I don't want to hear that kind of behaviour again, got it?" Stephan's shoulders sagged, fiddling with a string on a shirt too big for him. Everybody got back to work, and I was left alone again. Thank god, Ms Venn didn't say anything about my appearance and why I wore an eye patch.
Lunch, the most valued thing in school. It's the time where you can eat and enjoy your time with your friends. If you even had any. For me, it was the time to contemplate life and why it didn't want to cooperate with me. I sat alone, everybody else had their own friends to sit with. It didn't bother me. I didn't need them in my life anyways.
Liar.
We went to drama, met Mr. Adler, again, and then went back to our homeroom for geography. We didn't do much after that, except for more work. I managed to keep my sanity through all that, without having to use my pills which was great, 'cause I hated taking those white pellets of bitterness. Honestly, whoever made that medicine should try adding more flavours to it.
Lonely.
Kaitlyn is the only one who is willing to put with me right now, which I'm grateful for. Not everybody is willing to sit beside the most self-destructive person in the school. Perhaps I've misjudged who my friends really are, but then again, they are all like leaves. They leave when things get too complicated. They always do.
During last period, Ms Venn decided to take us into the staff room to read a book. A book about feelings during the first day at school. She then asked us how we felt. The answers varied from "I was excited," to "I was very bored." I'm sure we all felt one common emotion though, and it was curiosity. Curios about the teachers and the classmates, and curious about how the year will unfold.
"Well, kids. It's been a long day today. Go home, and get some rest. We'll only be going on full speed from here. Remember to do some of your English assignment! I'll see you all tomorrow, hopefully!" We start packing up, and the room is in chaos again. Friends are rushing over to talk with other friends, people are throwing things everywhere, the noise level is sky rocketing, and everybody is just smiling.
"So, Chael, what did you do over the break?" Kaitlyn asked me, a shimmer of excitement is glazed over her eyes. She probably waiting for me to finish so she could tell her stories.
"Well, you see, I did basically nothing. Except for going to a concert. I posted that on Instagram though, so you probably know about that. What did you do?" I asked her. She cleared her throat and began rambling about how she went camping for a week, and how there was a pretty lake nearby and one of her friends nearly drowned while swimming in there so she had to save them. I nodded along, and laughed when needed. It wasn't exactly the most exciting thing to do, but at least she got to hang out with her friends. Her time was spent with the people she valued, while I on the other hand moped around like a lost puppy. How pathetic of me to waste precious time.
"Good for you. What did you eat though? Did you get to shower? Were there wild animals out there?" I bombarded her with all these questions to keep the conversation going. The bell had rung, and we were dismissed. I started walking home, alone, with the sun beaming down on me. You'd think it would be cold by September, but it's still super hot here. I blame global warming.
"Chael, going home so soon? Wait for me, I walk this way too!" Ryze scrambled after me as I slowed down to let him catch up. It was unusual for him to want to talk to me, let alone be anywhere me. Something was up, I could feel it. He started coughing really violently, before recovering with a shaky breath. Aiden wasn't with him today. Strange. Maybe he's hanging out with Margret and Bella, or he slipped away and went home without anyone noticing. Not that I care or anything, it's just unusual to see the two of them separated. Almost like seeing a unicorn with no horn.
"What do you want today, Ryze? So eager to see me? You aren't usually this cheery to get yourself into a mess with me." I nonchalantly faced him. His face was paler than ever before. Maybe he didn't go out very often in the summer, or maybe he's just sick. It's probably the latter.
"No, can you take your mind off violence for just one second? God. No, I'm walking with you today because I'm bored and Aiden went home without me." He shrugged before taking a huge gulp of air. I raised my brow in suspicion.
"And why should I care?" Ryze's face was conflicted now as he struggled to get the words out. I tapped my foot impatiently, waiting for an answer. He gave up under the pressure and stared at the sky.
"Can I not spend time with people who I care about?" He whispered into the air. I furrowed my brows and leaned in to hear him better.
"Repeat that, please?" I ask him.
"I'm dying, Chael. Dying. Must I spell it out for you? I though you'd be the one to take the news more appropriately than the others." I was shocked. Well how are you dying? Why are you dying? Is it a genetic disease or something? And why all of a sudden want to come to me to talk about it?
"Excuse me, what? You're dying? How, why, and when. Start talking young man, we don't have all day." I sat him down at the bench in the park and demanded that he talk. He shifted uncomfortably into position and begun his story.
"Well, you know how you only see my mother, right? That's because when I was 3, my dad died of a disease called sickle cell disease. It's a disease where your red blood cells don't have enough oxygen and looks like a sickle. Well turns out that my mother had a sickle cell gene, and so did my dad, and when I was born, it got passed down to me. My health deteriorated over the summer, and my doctor doesn't have any more options for me. They've taken me off treatment, and all I can do is battle it out for the rest of my life, or succumb to it, like my dad did. Chael, do you understand now? I am destined for the grave, and there is nothing I can do. Could you keep it a secret though? I don't want the others to worry." Ryze finishes. I don't want to open my mouth and say something wrong. But I do.
"How selfish of you. You want me to take your secret and make it my burden while the others can be so carefree? Did you tell me all this because you think it wouldn't hurt me? What made you think that I didn't care? Is it because I keep throwing pencils at you, or is it because you assumed that just because I push everybody around that this news shouldn't affect me? You always were a selfish bastard." I get up and grab my bag, running away as fast as my short legs could carry me. I was never good at dealing with my emotions. Why am I crying for somebody who never wanted to talk to me, or sit with me, or do anything with me.
Why am I crying?
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