Song: The Ghost Of You
Artist: My Chemical Romance
A couple pass days by, and Ryze isn't getting any better. The doctors say his health is declining rapidly, and that he's got 2 months left in him at most. I can't help but let my anger loose, punching the walls and screaming out in frustration.
He comes to school on days that he feels well on, but the teachers don't let him participate in any physical activities. It crushes him on the inside, but he doesn't let it show. He's just wearing a smile all the time, laughing at anything.
Over time, he starts coming less and less. His breathing is ragged, almost like a fish out of water. Aiden has started talking to me more and more, distracting me from the inevitable outcome that would strike sooner or later.
I'm becoming very snappy lately. I can't help but feel annoyed sometimes, letting my anger seep through my mask of emotions once in a while, before catching myself and then starting all over again. Ryze is very patient with me though, I don't know why. He's often writing on small scraps of paper.
"Just in case my body decides to give out one day before graduation, you'll have a yearbook quote from me." That's his reasoning. He won't let me see what he writes though, so I'm very curious. It's probably something embarrassing, or stupid. I know his hidden goal is to mock me until the end of time.
By the end of March, he's stopped coming to school completely. His little sister is also absent most of the time. Aiden knows where he lives though, and tries to visit him on our behalf. He doesn't want anybody to see him though. I get it, I really do. It sucks when people who care about you see you at your lowest point. Don't worry, Ryze. I've been there many times before. There's nothing to be ashamed about.
It's mid April when I hear the news. Our teachers are crying, sobbing in the hallways as we are clueless, trying to figure it out. It doesn't hit me yet, so I'm waiting patiently for any piece of news to come by. I'm at school early to do a shift at watching the doors, in case someone needs to enter the school. My partner comes in soon enough, and apparently, she's heard something.
"I heard them talking about a passing? Someone died, don't know who or when though. It's all I hear." Kaitlyn shrugs, and I feel chills roll down my spine. My heart beats five times faster than normal. Deep in the pits of my mind, I have a feeling I know who it is, but I'm in denial. I refuse to believe anything until I hear it myself.
My shift ends and I head to period one. Ms Venn looks like she's been crying, a tissue is grasped tightly in her hand, her eyes and nose red and puffy. I'm trembling again, because I know who it is.
Please, don't tell me.
A blonde woman wearing a blue uniform walks sombrely into the classroom, and Ms Venn breaks down into more tears. Our class is quiet. Possibly the quietest it's even been.
"Ah, I'm so, so terribly sorry to bring you this news today..." The notifier's face is pale, staring into the ground and taking a deep breath before continuing. I don't want to listen, but I am. My attention is directly towards her. Emilia, who's sitting beside me, is shifting around uncomfortably.
"Your classmate, Ryze Koren has passed away last night. It was a peaceful death, and he was in no pain when he died." The class is in shock. The entire room was so silent, you could probably hear a caterpillar crawling across the floor, if there was one. Time seemed to stop and my blood ran cold. A hand was raised to ask a question.
"How did he die? Why did he die?" The woman began to explain his disease, and I could hear sniffles at the back of the classroom. I felt numb, and as she explained further, it began to wear away and an unbearable sadness washed over me. Grief.
"I am so sorry to bring you this news this morning. I'm sure he is in a better place now. I'm so sorry." I felt bad for her, having to deliver this news even if she didn't even know him. Come to think of it now, I don't even know him very well now either. But there was one thing that was very clear. No matter who it may be, you don't realize how much people care until you're actually gone. As much as you'd like to think otherwise, this is the solid proof right here. I'm sitting in my seat, hot tears rolling down my face as I try to stop it. Ms Venn is back up in the front of the room, also crying.
"I'm sorry class. I don't think any of us are in the mood to learn right now. I sure as hell am not. You can do as you'd like, just," She chokes on her words before collecting herself. "Just don't leave the school grounds. You can go outside if you'd like. If anybody would like to go the guidance counsellor, please do." I feel bile threatening to spill, so as soon as she's done talking, I bolt out the door and to the washroom. I unload my breakfast into the nearest toilet, not having any time to close the stall door. Someone holds my hair out of the way, and rubs my back. Their sobbing too, I hear it. I flush the toilet and collapse to the floor, sobbing violently.
It's Helena who's holding me, rubbing my back to soothe me, while I lean on her, crying my eyes out. She's grieving too, I could almost feel it. More people pile into the bathroom, crying and sobbing. I would punch something but I'm too burnt out to do anything. Too tired. It's not like bruising a knuckle would bring him back. He's never coming back.
N E V E R C O M I N G B A C K.
He'll never get to go to our grad trip, never going to laugh again, never going to be annoying again, never going to graduate with us, never going to see him again.
Never again.
It's hard to accept reality sometimes.
I pick myself up off the floor, and exit the washroom, and walking the halls, tears falling to the floor with each step. Mr. Adler's class has also heard the news, and now his class is also in chaos. Mr. Alexander and another teacher exit the staff room, heading in my direction. He sees my grieving expression, but I don't want anybody to see me like this.
"Chael, are you-" Before he can finish his explanation, I'm sprinting the other way, tuning out all noises and running outside. I make it halfway through the field and I let myself drop to the ground, screaming and yelling as I tear grass out of the ground. But none of this is going to bring him back.
"Chael, don't cry. You'll be just fine. Smile."
I turn around in search of the voice. It was Ryze's. I know it. But he's not anywhere, and it's just my imagination in denial to keep me from tearing everything apart. I sulk over to the stone wall, sitting down and burying my face in my knees. Someone's arms wrap around me and embraces me in a hug, sobbing silently with me.
~
His funeral is a week later and our whole grade is invited. I'm standing beside Margaret and Kellain, who is still upset over his death. She was always a little sensitive with that. His mother and sister are in the front, giving speeches about how great of a son or brother he was. I didn't have anything to say though. I didn't have the strength to.
His sister is handing something out, those little scrap pieces of paper he was writing on before he passed. She finds my quote faster than the others, possibly because it was the neatest out of them all. I don't look at it right away though, I go have lunch with Margaret and Aiden.
We all take a look at what our departed friend wrote for us.
Keep your courage and wits with you, 'cause that's what you do best, right?
Don't be so sensitive. Laugh it off, and continue what you were doing. I'm sure you'll make it.
Around the table, our heads crowd over the last piece of paper that was left unread. In blue ink and messy handwriting, a little message is scribbled down.
Peter Pan, away! Your adventure starts now!
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