the guy the guy that I though that hate me and thought I was stupid for a girl

chapter 19

When I see him I want trues him but what he did I new that it not okay to talk to him open up to him I want him to hurt the way that he had done to me but it just is work out and that I did was lie to him but he just does get what I mean by what I say because I was just a dum girl and that I just know that I do want date him I get that it the past but I just can not let it go but I know that once I get back for what he did then I new that I feel better but then when I look at it I will lose him a lot and that I have to think about it really hard and that I could tell him why what I had did to him when Novel make me feel good about myself I just can there a smile that he do to me I just know that I for get everything that was plan.

when I listen to Novel heart I just know that what he say is true when I look at him I just know that things are get to real for me and that I need to get way and just stay way for a few day and that I just know that I can stop think about how much I have a good time with him but I just know that after hear the talk with his friends then I remember why I start it and that I need to keep doing what I had plan and that show the girls who he really is and that remind the people and Novel who I am and what they had done to me and it really so when I get my head back on track then I go back to see and hang or talk to Novel so what I just know that thing need to keep going and that everything take place another at a party or at prom what I think it be is prom.

I can take the fact that I love a guy so much that I want him here I need him but I just hate the fact that he blows me off and that I just want cry so all my pain for the guy is in with what Novel had done to me so I just know when I get all this pain out then I will be who I was before I met these boys and that there just stupide guys that I should have never let get to me and that I want just think a lot about someone who I want truly love me but know guy would ever love me and that I just know that I want someone love me but I know when the person comes then I be hurt them and that all I use to do be hurt so I start to teach myself to hurt them before they hurt me.

I want a guy to hurt as much as I hurt that all I ask for!