Venom & Oblivion

Chapter 16

Nothing had changed between Jinyoung and Mark; they went back to their normal routines, Mark still with Jong and Seung, and Jinyoung often ignoring or avoiding them.

Jinyoung no more saw malice in Mark's eyes but Mark was there everytime his friends made fun of Jinyoung. He neither was involved in their sneers at Jinyoung nor stopped them.

Jinyoung would often see Mark alone around the campus but they never would stop and talk with each other. Jinyoung showed no sign of wanting to have some time with Mark, even when Jong and Seung were not around, and Mark never tried further to make Jinyoung be with him.

Jinyoung felt there was no point of starting their history again because nothing would ever be the same again, when there had been all the worst time and things happened between them.

He was certain Mark felt the same way; even if the present situation was all agony and had nothing good in it, they were already used to all these odds and there was just no point of changing them now.

Most of the days, Jinyoung would just occupy his mind with something else, books, lessons, and sometimes Tae Hyun, who often came to him and kept him company. As long as he could keep Mark out of his mind.

Jinyoung knew Mark was aware that he was being avoided, and it seemed that Mark was fine with that. Except those times when Tae Hyun was their classroom, talking with Jinyoung, or when they were somewhere else together, and Mark happened to see them, his eyes would turn bitter and he would leave the classroom or wherever he was, in an instant.

Jinyoung could do nothing about that; if Mark could not accept him being friends with Tae Hyun, then let him be. As time went by, Mark would get used to it, Jinyoung thought, or if Mark still loved him, that was the very reason he could give Mark to forget him.

Mr. Hyun was late again, as usual, and the whole class was in chatter, talking about the video games and the coming basketball match. Jinyoung was spared from Jong's and Seung's attention today, as they looked quite dizzy, perhaps due to a hangover.

Mark was not there and Jinyoung wondered where he was. It was not just today; he hardly had seen Mark these days. Maybe, it was just him avoiding Mark that he seldom saw Mark, but still it somehow felt odd.

Turning his back to the chatter, Jinyoung scrolled through a number of websites on his phone, vaguely looking up any information, which he needed for the upcoming project. He stopped at a couple of articles, to read the content and see if there was anything worth noting down for the project.

There were also news articles for the week and he mostly skipped them. But then something caught his attention - he read a news article headline, where the word 'Tuan' was in it. How many Tuans could there be in Korea?

Jinyoung silently prayed it was not Mark or his family, as the article displayed the news of a car accident. His hands were trembling as he clicked the link to read the full article.

For a moment he was relieved as he found out that the aritcle had been written three days ago and he had seen Mark just yesterday. As he read the article, however, his worries did not recede and he felt his blood ran cold with shock.

He was more than certain now who this person in the accident was, as the address was just as he remembered and there was Mark's name in it.

"Did you see Mark this morning?" Jinyoung turned to the classmate beside him and asked him in desperation.

"What? I don't know, I don't think I saw him - ah, this morning? Oh, yes, I saw him when I came here."

"On the campus?"

"Yes, just near this class but I think he was heading somewhere else then."

Jinyoung shoved all of his things into his bag and slung it over his shoulder, before dashing out of the classroom, without even managing a quick 'thanks' to his classmate.

But where was he going to find Mark? He was not even sure if Mark was still here on the campus. Whatever, he would just keep searching for him on the whole campus. Now he could link everything and understand why he barely had seen Mark recently. Mark was going through this alone and here he was, Jinyoung thought, avoiding Mark and all, when the latter might need him.

He made sure no place was left out as he went around the campus but there was no sign of Mark. He was on the verge of giving up, assuming Mark had already left, when he caught a glimpse of a lonely figure on the bench nearby.

Jinyoung hastened his steps to approach it and slowly sat down beside Mark, on the bench. The latter turend to look at him but then shifted his eyes away.

"I just saw the news," Jinyoung started, "I'm sorry for your loss. I'm really sorry. I know these words alone cannot comfort you but I just want you to know that-"

"I'm fine," Mark sighed, "It was a shock and I thought my life would break down at any moment. But I'm trying to accept it. Although there was only the cold relationship between us. I was not ready to lose him. First my mom and now him. I've nothing left in me."

"Does anyone in the class know about this?" Jinyoung asked, wondering how Jong and Seung could be so indifferent when their friend had lost his father and was suffering from that.

"No, you're the only one, who has found out about this. But don't talk about this to anyone, I don't want their attention or pity."

Jinyoung nodded and kept the silence as he did not want to bombard Mark with questions or words when Mark must want to be alone.

"I know you're sorry for me," Mark looked at him, grimly, "But I don't want your pity either."

Jinyoung had no desire to leave Mark alone but the latter apparently wanted him to.

"I see, you want to be alone. I came here to comfort you. But I think I can't do anything to make you feel better. Come to me whenever you want to."

Mark was silent and Jinyoung, at last, got up to leave. But Mark's hand took hold of his wrist to stop him.

"If you're willing to do anything, there is one thing you can do. Just don't pity me."

Jinyoung sat down again and looked into Mark's sad eyes. Their eyes were locked as the unspoken words passed between them.

Jinyoung, at last, scooted closer and drew Mark close, wrapping his hands around Mark. The latter fell into his embrace and buried his face in Jinyoung's shoulder.

Jinyoung patted Mark's back soothingly and felt Mark's hands tightening around him.

"My life is a mess, Jinyoung. I've no more anyone that I love around me. They all keep leaving me. What am I to do now?"

"I'm still here for you. And you still have your own future ahead of you. Your life is not a mess, the circumstances are, maybe, but not your life."

It was some time before Jinyoung felt tears on his shirt and he murmured some more words to comfort Mark.

He let Mark cry all he wanted and rocked him slightly to soothe him. Despite the pain he felt just because Mark was suffering from that pain, he felt that some contentment again to be with Mark or to hold him close.

Some time later Mark's tears subsided but he did not pull away and neither did Jinyoung. After all those days of ignorance and with the terrible turns in Mark's life, this comfort was the least thing they could give each other and for the following minutes, they stayed still, none of them moving and with their hands still wrapped around each other.