Venom & Oblivion

Chapter 15

Having passed a number of buildings, Jinyoung was dragged along and all his efforts to wriggle his hand out of Mark's grasp were in vain.

Mark's lips were pressed tight in a thin line and his eyes were still blazing with the flame of anger. His brows were narrowed, showing his concentration on where they were going.

When they reached a quiet, secluded place with the trees around, which blocked the view of the buildings, Jinyoung was let go and Mark turned to him, taking a glance at Jinyoung rubbing his wrist in pain and then focusing his eyes on Jinyoung's.

"Why're you acting like this?" Jinyoung started, his voice rising with fury, "Why're you even angry when it was you who punched him? What has he done to you to make you jump on him?"

Mark gritted his teeth, "You want to know the reason? Hell, I do have. Who is he that you let him touch you so easily? He appeared few days ago and then you acted like he'd been in your life for a lifetime. Care to explain that?"

Jinyoung looked into Mark's demanding eyes, "So what? Whoever I'm with, what does it matter to you? You want my life to be miserable and helpless, don't you? You want me to be always under your fingertips, with no other person around I could turn to for help. That's what you want. I can't believe you, Mark."

Jinyoung felt his chest heaving with anger but for the first time since he had been in this college, he felt relieved to let out those words.

"Think what you want. But one thing," Mark's eyes turned even more serious than before, "If I can't get your heart, then no one else can. If I'm not allowed to be beside you, then no one else is. Am I clear enough?"

Their eyes locked in the heated stare, both challenging each other.

"Who doesn't allow you to be beside me? Isn't it you yourself that is pushing yourself away from me? I don't understand you. The way you think, the things you do, there is nothing I can understand you. You shoved me away whenever I tried to get close to you and then you still want to claim the right to interfere with my life. Just what do you want?"

"You still don't get it? How many times do I have to tell you that I love you? Have you ever put yourself in my shoes? Do you even know how I feel?"

"You don't love me," Jinyoung said, "You've never loved me. You wanted to possess me because I was the one who tried to give you comfort. Then you've named it 'love'. Love is much purer than that. You know what, Mark? You're just being selfish. It is not love, it's just your selfishness."

"Wrong!" Mark took hold of Jinyoung's shoulders and gripped them hard, "You can accuse me of whatever you like. But not this. You don't understand me, you're right. You have no idea of how I feel. You don't know what I'm going through, do you? I'm not being selfish. I love you!" Mark said, shaking Jinyoung's shoulders hard.

Jinyoung looked straight into Mark's heated eyes, "I hate you. I always tried to see the good side of you, I wanted to be your friend. But all of this is going to be the worst part of my life. I regret ever making friends with you, ever being your friend."

Mark's mouth fell open and his hands loosened his grip on Jinyoung's shoulders; he looked at Jinyoung in shock and disbelief.

Jinyoung removed Mark's hands and turned around to leave. But Mark grabbed his wrist in time and stepped forward, before wrapping his hands around Jinyoung's waist from behind and burying his face in Jinyoung's shoulder.

"Don't leave me please," Mark muttered, while Jinyoung was startled in shock.

"I love you," Mark uttered quietly, his eyes starting to brim with tears and wetting Jinyoung's shoulder. "I wanted to protect you when you were picked on. I wanted to stand up for you but I couldn't. Because I wanted to forget you. I wanted you to become a bad memory to me, and everything between us to become worse and worse so we could forget and hate each other. That was what I intended things to be, but I feel it's all impossible. I can't stand hearing you say that you hate me."

Jinyoung started to feel weak to hear those words and had no desire to push Mark away. If he was not mistaken, that was the first time he heard Mark saying his feelings sincerely.

"Maybe, I'm selfish," Mark muttered, "But only because I love you. I want to be the only one who can love you. The comfort you can give someone, I want to be the only one, who knows and can feel that comfort. Why, Jinyoung, why can't you love me? Do you love him then?"

Mark tightened his hands around Jinyoung and pressed himself harder against Jinyoung's back. He breathed against Jinyoung's shoulder and absorbed the warmth.

Jinyoung could not find the answer and whatever the answer was, he did not want to let it ruin this moment. Their position was too intimate for two friends but Jinyoung felt right, to be in Mark's arms.

He had been running alone and now it felt like he was coming back home again. He felt safe and warm to be enclosed by Mark's hands.

They fell into the comfortable silence, maybe Mark was still waiting for his answer or simply feeling their warmth, Jinyoung was not sure. Their thoughts seemed to combine for the following several minutes.

But Jinyoung at last removed Mark's hands and felt Mark's questioning eyes on him. Jinyoung did not turn to face him and was ready to leave.

"I see, you still don't love me. Or you'll never love me."

Jinyoung bit his lip and despite his desire to stay, he began his way away from Mark, leaving the place.

Mark did not call him back and how he was left, Jinyoung could not picture. He hastened his way away and then before he knew, he was already running away from the place. His heart was beating fast, with a sort of ache, which he could not name. Running faster, he tried to convince himself that it was all because of running, and nothing else.