Our History

Chapter 31

2 months later.

Gordies POV

I think I have officially gone mad, all I think about is Chris.

Wake up Chris, take care of Ash Chris, shower Chris, sleep Chris.

He is always on my mind and I don't know what to do at this point.

I have dropped out of school pretty much, I don't wanna go. There is no motivation or want.

I spend most of my days either taking care of Ash or crying until I have no more tears, in which I start wheezing.

My parents haven't seemed to notice, but then again they probably wouldn't notice if I were the one to die.

So times I wish I was the one to die.

They had a funeral for Chris, but only a few people showed up.

Eyeball, Luke, his mom, Teddy, Vern, their mothers and I.

I didn't talk to anybody, I think Teddy and Vern wanted to say something to me but I think we all knew it wasn't for the best.

We haven't talked in years, the first time I talk to them again won't be at Chris's funeral. I think we all wanted it that way.

Everybody around who knew what was going on thought Ace and Chris killed each other in a gunfight.

That they both got drunk one night and ended each other's lives.

But after a week nobody really cared, Ace was Ace and Chris was a no good Chambers kid.

Eyeball and I have been hanging out more, he is trying to help me cope with everything.

We learned that Luke and Ash will sleep during the whole night if they are together.

So on nights my parents are gone, which was getting more often since they thought I could watch Ash perfectly, Eyeball would come over and bring Luke.

Then we both would just sit there on my bed, he would listen to me talk about Chris and held me when I cried.

Eyeball just let me do what I needed to cope, he also didn't judge me either. He knew exactly what I was going through and let me do what I needed, I will never be able to forgive him for being here with me.

"Thanks", I say to Eyeball while laying in his arms.

I had just gotten done crying to him, he didn't say anything to me. All he did was rub my back and held me.

"Actually I think you will be telling me thanks in a second.", he says getting up.

I looked at him a bit confused, "What?"

He then reached for his bag a pulled out a journal than handed it to me.

"Um, I don't need to write-"

"I know you don't, it's not for you to write but to read.", he says cutting me off.

I quickly snatched the journal from his hands and flipped open to the front page to read

THIS IS NOT A DIARY!!! It is just a journal where I can put my feeling and thoughts down when I can't express them to other people!

BUT just be this is NOT a diary does not mean you can read on!

After reading I turned my head up to Eyeball, "Who's is this?"

"Don't be mad at me, but it's Denny journal. I found it in his bedroom the night I told you and Chris the truth about me. I hope you don't mind I kept it from you so long. I promise I was gonna give it back, but the babies then this and-"

I began to smile while tears formed in my eyes, "No Eyeball, I don't think you could have given me this at a better time. Right now I needed something from my brother and this was perfect."

He smiled at me sitting back down and I leaned over to hug him.

I wrapped my arms tightly around his shoulders and his around my waste.

Sitting there I enjoyed sitting in his hug, it reminded me of Chris holding me.

Pulling back little ways I looked into his blue eyes, of how they looked exactly like Chris's.

Then the next thing I knew I leaned forward and pressed my lips firmly on Eyeballs.

He kissed me back and then we both quickly pulled away. Letting the actions we just did sink into us.

"Shit I'm so sorry Eyeball!", I said fastly since I'm the one who leaned in to kiss him.

He shook his head and reached out to grab my arm, "No Gordie it's okay, your going through a hard time. I understand really, I remember after the first month of Denny dying I screwed a random chick then cried for a week. Trust me it's not a big deal, your dealing with something stressful so your gonna do things that you normally wouldn't."

I nodded at him understanding his words, but not being able to hold back the ones that came out of my mouth next, "Yeah but Eyeball I have been feeling this way towards you since you have been staying here with me. Holding me, helping me, everything."

He smiled to himself before talking, "Yeah I know, I would be lying if I didn't say I also had these feelings towards you too. But trust me they aren't real, were both have just lost someone very important to us. So yeah everything is off, but just wait a few more months for everything to calm down and we will go back to the way we were."

But I, of course, didn't listen to Eyeball, and I knew what I wanted now. My brain was clouded and I pushed Eyeball down and climbed on top of him, "Just fuck me Eyeball."

I didn't know what came over me, but he grabbed my waist and turned us so we were on top.

Then we did it, we had sex and maybe yeah it felt good I guess, but afterward, we cried.

He pulled me close and we cried, cried for Denny, Chris and what felt like going behind their back.

We both cried until we fell asleep, and of course, in my dreams, I was still with Chris.

Happy and Free, making our own history.

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Yay, the next chapter is the Epilogue and then this story will be officially over!