My friend killed himself on saturday. His name was Pierce Hoffman. he was the sweetest boy you could ever meet and he was in honors with me. We had orchestra together. We shared memes with each other. He was so happy, until he wasn't. On friday, everything was normal, and we were joking around, and then on sunday i find out he killed himself. i didn't really cry but then earlier tonight, i went to a candlelight vigil for him and hearing everyone's memories with him just made me start bawling. I held it in as much as i could but it wasn't enough. He loved to play with sticks, he always had a yellow coat on, he loved overwatch. i miss him so much and i didn't even know him that well. i really don't want to exist right now. i don't want to go to school tomorrow. i just want to sleep forever but i can't seem to fall asleep. i wish i could've been there for him. i wish i could've realized that he wasn't happy. i wish i knew him better. i wish he was still here. i don't want him to be gone. i miss him so much already. i wish that everything would just stop. i don't want to live but i don't want to die. i want to play silent viola with him one last time.
