I don't know why but my body hates me. I try so hard to look good but nothing I do is ever enough.
I lost like 8 pounds and I'm scared to eat a bunch because I don't want to gain it back.
My stomach protrudes so much I have to suck in and I do it subconsciously now when I'm home alone. I lay down and suck in my stomach trying to expose as much hip bone as possible because it's all I fantasize about.
I don't have abs. I try my hardest so expose my rib cage but it just don't show. My boobs are weird. They go to the sides instead of being normal.
My thighs rub when I walk and I can't help but look at other girls thighs when they're walking and just stare at the fact that they don't even touch.
My arms are so fat they look like they don't even belong on my body. The amount of hair on my arms makes me feel like a man. My wrist bone barely shows and I really wish it did.
I bite my fingernails and I can't stop. I try so hard but they have ridges covering them. They barely cover the skin under my nails. The nails are uneven. They have little hang nails. There is barely any white on my nails.
My calves are like pure fat. The fat just hangs there. When I wear heels they don't do that thing where you can see the muscle outline.
My face is just ugly in general. It always has a pink tint. My pores are literally gaping. You can see the mustache on my upper lip. My eyebrows are everything but symmetrical. I barely have a jaw line. My forehead is extremely big. My favorite nickname is five head. My eyelids show uneven amounts of my eyes. One drapes over one eye more than the other. My nose is huge from the side.
My hair is so gross. It's blonde. Not even the pretty blonde. It's brown but no one has the guts to call it that. It's like 500 different colors. It gets so oily in 2 days. It's always messy and not the cute messy, the oh my god jump off of a bridge messy.
My lips are so cracked and ugly. My teeth are huge and they are yellow with white discoloration. It's taken 3 years to get my teeth aligned right and they still look gross.
I could go on and on but I don't want to bore you with my depression lol
10/21/18 9:51
