Star Shines In Her Eye

The Cabin

Josh had his hands on my bare back as he slipped his tongue into my mouth. The kiss did not feel rushed or desperate but relief rushed through my veins. I had only thought of kissing him in the last 4 months and before the initial kiss, I had wanted to kiss him since I understood what kissing meant. I had boyfriends and crushes throughout the last 10 years but no one lived up to the person I had in my mind. I lost my virginity when I was 16 to my high school boyfriend and during those painful moments I looked in the direction of the Kiszka house from my childhood bed and squeezed my eyes shut, knowing I was not ready for this at all. I pulled my head back from Josh and shook my head. I was getting lost in these thoughts when all I wanted was to be present with Josh. He had yet to speak but he finally said "Are you ok?" I responded with a nod and he pushed my hair behind my ear to kiss me one more time.
Josh grabbed my wrist and started pulling me down the path that I knew so well. He was taking us towards "The Cabin" which our dads built for us when we were little. It was just a little one room house with a couch, rug and card table. It was our clubhouse when we were kids and as we grew up it became the spot for us to play records and smoke after school. The twins had separately lost their virginity on that couch and I constantly tried to forget that fact. I was always either one of the guys or treated like their little sister, I had no place in their sex lives. Now that they were rock stars I knew it was a whole new territory that I did not want to know about.
Josh opened the door and I was hit with a familiar smell. My nose filled with the scent of wood, incense, pot, and and underlying must from the old couch. As if by muscle memory I pulled a lighter and a joint from my waistband that I had tucked in there for safe keeping. I lit the joint and inhaled deeply, holding in the smoke, closing my eyes I exhaled out of my nose. I handed it over to Josh and he did the same. He set the joint in the ashtray next to an old box of American Spirits, Josh's favorite. I was already feeling the high, Michigan's shit was always better than New York's, it was good to be home.
Josh relaxed into the couch and feeling rather bold, I straddled his legs. I bent down to kiss him with my hands on his chest. He was wearing loose patterned pants with no shirt even though it was late March in Michigan, still fairly cold at night. He moved his kisses to my neck which sent shivers down my spine and into him. I let my head fall back as his kissed me, his hands on my hips, I could feel his erection between us. I was feeling stoned, tired and dizzy all of a sudden. I stood up quickly realizing where this was surely about to end up.
I did not want to have sex with Josh in the cabin and I really wanted to have a clearer mind when it happened. "Kaz, are you ok?" Josh asked breathlessly. "Yeah, I'm so sorry, I just realized that I did not want this to happen this way." I said with my head down. He took my hand and said "Leah, we don't have to do anything in anyway, come sit next to me." I sat down beside him and put my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes, letting a couple of moments pass. I looked up at him "I do genuinely want to fuck you, just not here." I pointed to a tiny mouse who was nibbling on a cracker and we both started laughing, still feeling the buzz from earlier.
We stayed up until the sun started to rise, talking about the future, film and everything we could think of. We walked back to his house, trying to remain quiet, dewy grass grazing our bare feet. I gave Josh a kiss on his cheek when we got upstairs. "Do you want to get a drink, or many, tomorrow night?" Josh whispered. I nodded my head and he went to his room with a wink and a smile. We were going camping on the west side of the state but we had a local spot we liked to drink at while we were there. I turned to the left and slowly opened Sam's door. I slipped off my leggings and got into bed with him. He was sure to sleep until 2PM and I needed to rest. Sammy stirred and turned around, he wrapped his long arms around me and I buried myself into his chest. "I'm so glad we're home." "Me too" Sam said with a yawn. Soon we were both asleep.
     Sam wrestled me awake, the sun was glaring into his window and I was feeling majorly hungover. "Wake up, little sleepyhead, people, places, things!" Sam said jumping up onto the bed. "Alright, alright, I'm up, I'm up!!" We walked downstairs together, laughing about things that happened on the bus the night before. We walked into the kitchen and Josh had his head on the table. Jake was standing on the wall with a cup of coffee in his hand, looking as cool as ever. Simon and Garfunkel's 'April Comes She Will' playing over the speakers.
     I could smell food and it took me a second to see what was happening. Ronnie was making pancakes at the stove, looking radiant as ever. "RONNIE FUCKING KISZKA!!" Ronnie spun around to look at me with a spatula in her hand. She shoved it into Jakes hand and jumped into my arms. She gave me tons of kisses on my face. "I didn't know you were HERE!" She exclaimed. "Of course I'm here, my favorite people are here! Also my parents are gone and my house is haunted." I glanced at Josh, laughing a little. He lifted his head for a second, only to lay it back down onto the table.
     Danny marched in with a bag slung over his shoulder. "Who's ready to go CAMPING?!" Josh moaning in response.