Star Shines In Her Eye

Oh Yoko!

I woke up with the hot sun beating down on me from my window. It was the time of the year where the midday sun is hot and the evenings and mornings were too cold, I never know what to wear on days like this. Sam was gone but I heard movement downstairs. My parents were finally home. I threw on a sweatshirt and ran downstairs. I jumped into my moms arms and immediately started crying. "Sweetie, what's wrong??" My mom was holding me tightly but looking at me with concern. "I just missed you, I'm glad you're home... did you see Sammy leave?" "Yup, he left about an hour ago, he told me to tell you to call him. He looked a little rough, did you guys have a good night?" She laughed. I started bawling again and my mom had me sit down while she made a cup of tea for us both. My dad was out grocery shopping to restock the kitchen. I told my mom everything... well not everything... but I explained the stupid love triangle I found myself in and how I acted on it with both of them. I felt like I was ruining my friendships and a job opportunity, at that. My mom calmed me down and told me I needed to think long and hard about everything because I only have 3 weeks left until the tour starts and I can't go into it with these complicated feelings.
After catching up with my mom I went upstairs to give Sam a call but he didn't answer. I called Josh... just to see if he would pick up. He also didn't answer either so I decided to head over to see if they were just out and about. I threw my hair up, put on my ripped jeans and vans and headed out.
     I knocked on the door and Karen answered, I hadn't seen her yet so I gave her a big hug and asked where the boys were. She told me they were in Detroit today rehearsing and she was heading down there if I wanted a ride. I agreed and we made our way into the city. I had my camera so I could take photos of rehearsal but I thought about how awkward it may be. Karen and I had a nice talk about the boys and she told me how proud of me she was. I started crying again, man I really needed the moms in my life more than I knew. "What's going on, Kaz?" Karen asked placing her hand on my knee. "Is this about Joshua?" "What do you mean?" I said through my tears "I just know how much you have always liked him, I didn't really mean anything by it." "Why do I always feel like you guys can read my mind? It's so strange... it's ok though, I'm just emotional today." I sniffled and composed myself. Karen gave me an unconvinced look but didn't press any further.
     We arrived and I felt like my face was still red and puffy and my cheeks were still tear stained. I stepped in quietly and pulled out my Nikon F2 that I like to use to shoot film when I'm on the go. Sammy was tuning his blue Fender bass and I took a couple shots. I was seeing him in a new light, today. He was more than my best friend now, nothing will ever be exactly the same. I put my camera down and he looked at me. I gave him a wave, trying to hide the emotions on my face and he gave me a little solute back, flashing an oh-so-charming smile. He looked up again giving me a second look, "What's wrong?" He mouthed, I waved him off and he frowned at me. "Give me a minute, Danny, I'll be right back and we can work on that bass line, ok?" Danny kept drumming, I assumed the twins were in the back working through lyrics or something.
     "Hey love" I said before I began crying again, could I please just chill the fuck out? Sammy turned me around and we walked outside to the parking lot together. "What's going on, Leah? Are you regretting what happened last night? I'm so sorry, I should never have let that happen, I am SO SORRY." "No Sammy, you're too cute, I've just been really emotional today, I think my anxiety is just at a peak and I don't know... I'm just confused. I'm really sorry though, I just hate that I ruined something within this group, I'm being a total Yoko..." "I don't think Yoko slept with Paul" Sammy said, making me laugh. "You're not ruining anything, no one even knows... we should avoid doing that again, you and Josh need to figure your shit out, but nothing changes the fact that I love you and I just want your happiness."  I finally felt my emotions settle and we went back inside.
     We walked in and Josh was at the mic running through a melody with his twin, singing runs to a new song I hadn't heard yet. It sent a shiver down my spine. Josh saw me and stopped what he was doing and ran over to me "Hey sunshine! I'm so glad you're here! What a beautiful day to revel with us!" He grabbed my waist and kissed me right on the lips, what on earth was he thinking? I was taken by surprise and looked right at Sam who was trying to look away. "Heyyy J, can we talk? Outside?" "Sure thing, beautiful." He turned to the band "I'll be right back, Jake, want to show them what we were working on?"
     Josh and I were standing outside right where Sam and I had come from. He lit two cigarettes in his mouth, sucked in and handed me the second, a beautiful, swift move. I held the smoldering cig in my fingers and looked up at Josh "Anything interesting happen last night? I heard you went to a speak easy with Jakey." I knew I had no right to be annoyed but I also had to know. "Yeah, that's right, it was fun, nothing too crazy happened, what about you, love?" I rolled my eyes "You mean to tell me that you didn't go home with anyone?" "Honestly? No, even if I had, you wouldn't be mad would you? I thought we were 'open'" Josh retorted, he was right and I had slept with his brother, not that he knew that. I felt really stupid but I also didn't know if I really believed him. "You're right, I just didn't really know where we were or what we were so I figured I would ask." I stomped out the cigarette and walked back in, I don't know why I was mad but it made it clear that this would be harder than I originally anticipated.