Her Eye Candy | Completed

.::8::.

"It's amazing , how deep your heart can sink, and how much one person can affect you."

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Makan malam sama JT berjalan lancar juga --- or at least, it doesn't go badly.. Now that Vince is out of the picture, there's no pressure for my date to be spectacular, but still it wasn't spectacular.. Bukan salah si JT.. sy kan asyik buat perbandingan antara dia sama Vince sepanjang makan malam tadi..

Apa ba suda jadi sama sy ni? Sy kan suka JT.. Kenapa pula sy mau kasi banding diorg dua ni?

JT park depan-depan apartment sy dan buka pintu sebelah sy.. such a gentleman as always.. "Thanks.." sy bilang sama dia sambil sy senyum, dia cuma angguk saja.. 

Ehmm, he seems distant.. Mungkin dia buat gitu sebab sy pun begitu masa makan tadi.. atau ada benda lain yang buat dia begitu?

Urrrggg! kenapa la dating ni susah?

Dua-dua kami berdiri diam.. Sy tengok arah jalan pigi pintu masuk tapi JT nampak macam nda akan ikut sampai pintu.. Mungkin sy patut cuba ajak dia masuk..

"Would you like to come inside?" sy tanya..

Kening dia terangkat sebab sedikit terkejut.. Betul-betul dia nda sangka sy akan cakap begitu.. And then he smiles and soft breeze lifts the front of his hair.. "Yes, I would.."

Dia hulur tangan dia dan sy sambut, kami sama-sama masuk dalam apartment sy.. Kami masuk dalam ruang tamu dan terus sy pasang lampu.. I feel nervous and I don't know why.. I'm attracted to him.. I want to sleep with him and I chose this.. 

Tapikan, kenapa sy rasa apa yang sy buat ni salah?

Seolah-olah, JT dapat tau yang sy sedikit gementar, dia maju dekat sama sy.. kuat bau minyak wangi dia tapi nda la teruk sangat.. He pushes his fingers into my hair and cups my jaws like I've seen in the movies, then he kisses me..

It's warm and It's --- nice but not spectacular.. JT undur balik, senyum dan gusuk ibu jadi dia di bawah bibir sy..

"You are truly beautiful, Jackie.." He said and the compliment works.. I smile easily and lean my cheek into his hand.

Sy macam terlampau kritikal pula.. Sy perlu jadi Belinda sikit.. Seize the day! Confident! Don't overthink!

Sy peluk leher JT dan cium dia lagi.. Parting my lips against his.. My anticipation fizzles into dissapointment as JT goes one step further and slips his tongue into my mouth --- and I feel nothing.. Jadi kaku dalam pelukkan dia.. Kami sama-sama undur, as if the same dampening mood came over us together..

This is suppose to be good coz I have been wanting it.. But why?

"I'm sorry, Jackie.. Sy nda dapat fokus pula ni sebab sy terganggu pasal keja sy yang belum siap.." Nampak sedih juga muka  si JT.. "Sy terpaksa mau bubut deadline.."

"No, no.. It's fine.. sy faham juga.." Muka sy jadi panas.. nda pernah pula sy jumpa lelaki yang nda sanggup tunda deadline kerja for a round of sex.. Lain la kalo kana fikir tu seks akan jadi teruk nanti.. Mungkin sy perlu lebih latihan bercium kali..

"Good night, Jackie.." JT bilang.. 

Sy angguk, "Good night, Jack.." sy tengok dia keluar dari pintu.. My heart sinks watching him leave.. Nothing makes a girl feel unsexy like being turned down especially after a kiss that should have sealed that deal.. Either JT has a tireless work ethic or I'm completely undesirable..