Nothing's Fine, I'm Torn.

Song from my heart

The nerves were racing through my body, I felt my head spin and my heart banged like crazy. Niall came with a super idea at the dinner table and all the boys had agreed that I should do it. Because what have I got lose? I parked my car slowly on the driveway of the big white house with the black high fence around it. I glanced at the house before I got out of the car. The first and last time I was here, everything had gone terrible. Still, I saw everything. The tears, the screams, the anger. When I thought about it all the bad thoughts came in my head again, just like the letter. Slowly I opened the door of my car and as soon as I stepped out I heard the stones on the path already cracking. The street was dark with a few lampposts which were supposed to give light but apparently they were broken. Slowly I walked along the path towards the big house which seemed really dark. Laura had told me that nobody would be home, except Kristen. I stood on the side of the house under the large window which was closed with pink curtains, so it was clearly Kristen her room. I hesitated a moment, but soon I thought of Paul's words. "It'll be fine, curly!" Only when I thought about him or his words I already got a smile on my face. Without any doubt, I picked up a pebble from the path and threw it against the large window. It took a while but one minute later she shoved the curtains open and she stood there in her nightgown, Kristen. Her eyes bulged out when she saw me and she immediately threw the window open. "Harry?" I saw that her eyes began to fill with tears. "Harry! O my god, is that seriously you? I'm so sorry .. it was not my .." She took a big gulp of breath and I saw the tears streaming down her face. Ideally I rushed upstairs, if necessary, I climbed up on the balcony. Ideally I held her close to me and I never let her go again, just forever near me. I gestured with my finger to my lips that she should be quiet and then I started with the thing I actually came for. I took a big gulp breath and then I started singing, without any music. Just for her.. 

 "When I see your face,

there’s not a thing that I would change.

Cause you’re amazing just the way you are.

And when you smile, the whole world stops

and stares for a while, cause girl you’re amazing

just the way you are.

Her lips, her lips

I could kiss them all day if she’d let me

her laugh, her laugh

She hates but I think it’s so sexy

She’s so beautiful and I tell her every day

You know, you know I never ask you to change

If perfect is what you’re searching for

Then just stay.."

But before I could finish she was gone and I didn't see her stand behind the window anymore. "Kristen?" My heart started to beat faster. Did she just leave me? Did she just leave me when I sung to her? My head began to spin, I felt rejected, alone. I had never set such a big step, I had never done such a thing for a girl that I love so much. I looked again at the curtain which was blowing back and forth in the wind and shook my head. Then I turned around with my head down walking back towards my car. "Harry, Harry. Wait!"  I felt a hand grabbed my wrist, a recognizable soft hand. "Don't go away, please.." I turned around and looked at the beautiful blue eyes of Kristen, her eyes were filled with tears. We stood there for a moment, staring into each other's eyes without saying anything. She was so beautiful, more beautiful than any girl I had ever seen. She had something special, I didn't know what it was. I could be her eyes? Her smile? Her voice? I just didn't know.  After a few minutes looking at each other speechless she suddenly burst into tears and she hit her arms around me. "Harry, I'm so sorry.." I felt her tears walking in my neck and it went into my shirt like a small river. She leaned gently back and looked at me again with her glittering eyes. "That was the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me.." Before I know it she pressed herself against me and I felt her soft lips on mine, our tongues danced together under the moonlight.    

We kissed so long, it felt like hours. My lips were all red and sparse and I could see that Kristen had it too. "I love you, Kris." I still had my arms around her waist and rubbed a hand across her back. "I love you more, honey!" She giggled and blinked her long dark lashes. I looked at my watch and saw that it was already 1 am, Kristen her parents would come home within no time. "I think it's better if I go. Your parents come in a bit and they.." I stopped and rubbed my hand once again on her soft cheeks which were filled with blond little downy hairs. I gave her a kiss on her mouth and wanted me to turn but she grabbed my wrist again. "Harry, don't leave me. Please let me go with you.."