Nothing's Fine, I'm Torn.

Red water

Kristen slept already for four months now at my place, well you can also call it living. Her parents had tried to get her back home, but Kristen made clear she wasn't coming back by sending a letter. We were already three months together as boyfriend and girlfriend. Everything seemed to go so perfect. Okay maybe sometimes we had a discussion or something but Louis had always taught me something that it only made the relationship stronger, wherever I totally trust him.

We were in the restaurant to celebrate the end of the school year. We were all sitting around the table. Louis, Megan, Niall, Liam, Laura, Zayn, Kristen and me. In that short time we had become very close with each other and we told each other everything, shared all our secrets and gossips and spent a lot of time together. It was Wednesday night, we were seated at a table by the window. Outside it was very dark and in the sky were hundreds of stars that illuminate the outside. In the restaurant shone dim yellow light and everywhery were candles on the table. Kristen and Megan and Laura looked, to be honest, very sexy. Laura wore a red satin strapless dress that  just came above knees. Her hair was pinned up with two curled locks which hung down her face. Megan in contrast wore a black lace dress which also came just above her knees. Her hair was loose and straight and hung on her shoulders. And the best part was Kristen, well that's what I found. Her curly blonde hair hung down her face and she had her two front locks backwards with a hairclip. If she wore a dark purple dress with at the bottom a few sparkles. Everytime I looked at her, my heart made a jump and I felt it in my stomach bubbling with happiness. The happiness that she was mine, that I finally found the girl of my dreams. As I took a sip of my beer, I looked at Kristen who looked with a serious look at the menu. My thoughts were interrupted by the waiter who came at the table and wanted to take our order. "Sorry sir, but this wine tastes really like cork." Louis looked at the waiter as he spinned the wine in his glass. The waiter, who looked very young, blushed shyly, offered an apology and promised to get a new one. "Can I take your orders?" He picked up a piece of paper and pen from his breast pocket and patiently looked around the table. "For me Spaghetti Bolognese! " Niall smiled broadly and looked at the waiter. The waiter began to write really busy and looked again around the table. "For me a steak with green vegetables, mashed potatoes and red port sauce." Kristen smiled, folded the card and laid it on the table. "For me the same!" Zayn smiled politely at the waiter who was writing really busy again. "For me the Lasagne of eggplant, spinach and basil bechamel, topped with goat cheese". I also closed my card now. After the waiter had recorded all orders, he ran away and everyone started talking to each other.

After the most perfect and most delightful evening we have had, Kristen had a surprise for me. We sat in the car, the two of us, on our  way to the big surprise. Kristen sat behind the wheel and sang softly along with a love song that reverberated around the car. I felt a tickle in my stomach, a nervous one but also a different kind of tickle. Some I had never felt before. I looked out the window and saw that we drove into the forest, because of the high dark trees which stood on both sides of the road. "Where are we going, love?" I put my hand on her leg and waited for her response. "You'll see it, Harry! Don't worry!" She smiled and glanced quickly back at the road, even though there was nobody on the road.  After a while she stopped the car on the side of the road, where a narrow path lead into the forest. "Let's go!" She stepped out of the car, shut it off and started running. As she ran she laughed and her laughter echoed through the empty dark forest. "Kristen, wait!" I quickly ran after her, deep in the dark forest. It was all so dark that I could no longer find her and there rippled a rage of panic through my head. "Kris, where are you?! Kristen!" I screamed as loud as I could and two seconds later I heard the cracking of leaves. I ran as hard as I could, even though I could not see where I ran. "Kristen!" My voice echoed through the forest and I felt dizzy  until I saw her there on the side of a river. I had never seen this place before, but it looked amazing. It was a river with a fast stream, on the side were large pieces of rock and the trees made an open circle above where the stars shone through. "Hi!" She smiled, grabbed my hand and pulled me down beside her. "Never do that again, ok?" I grabbed her hand so that her fingers were between mine. "I could have totally lost you!" She now took my other hand and looked deeply into my eyes. Her makeup was still just as beautiful as at dinner and her hair was still curled. "I'm sorry." She gave a kiss on my nose and then put her head on my shoulder.  "See that star over there?" She pointed to a star high in the sky above us. I nodded as I rubbed my hand on her back. "What's wrong with that star?" I looked back up, just like her. "The star that shines the most, always reminds me of my mother. Like she's still always with me." She closed her eyes and pushed her head a little more against my shoulder. I pushed her gently back, gave her a kiss and then a big hug. "She will be proud of you if she saw you now." Those were the only words that came in my mind, I was never good at that kind of situations. I always became very silent, I did not know why. It was quiet for a while, all you heard was the flow of the river and the sound of birds. We sat there in silence in each others arms. Kristen had told that her mother had died in a car accident, since then, her whole life changed. Her father started drinking, took a new wife and was often very aggressive. I felt bad for Kristen, but somehow happy. Glad I've been able to get her away, out of her life with her terrible father who hit her every day.

Suddenly Kristen stood up, unzipped her dress at the back and kicked her black heels on the side. I said nothing, the only thing I could do was watch. She pushed the hair clip off her hair so that now her curled hair hung down her face. Slowly she slid her dress down and laid him on the stump. There she stood in her dark purple lace lingerie, as beautiful as ever. She went back to the side of the river, brushed her hair out of her face and stepped into the cold river which came to her calves. She made a kind of moaning sound that it was cold and looked at me mischievously. "What are you doing?" I smiled cheeky as I looked at her, so perfect, so gorgeous. "Taking a night bath. Come!" She looked at me naughty as she splashed some water in my direction. I did not know why I did it, but now I also began to put my clothes off. I put my dark red blazer, my jeans and white shirt on the stump and walked back toward the waterfront. That girl brought out the best in me, I did everything. Anything to make her happy. As I slowly slid my feet in the water, I felt the drops on my back. Kristen looked up, while the raindrops slid down on her body and she let out a scream. Slowly I came to her, grabbed her by her waist and pulled her close to me. Immediately was the chill away and I felt her warm, recognizable body against mine. I kissed her, wild, sexy yet sweet. She squeezed meanwhile my hair and hit her legs around my waist. It started to rain harder and now there sounded the first thunder. It didn't care how the weather was, I just wanted Kristen, only

here and now.

After a while with the two of us I quickly ran to the side of the river, under the big tree at the stump. It started to rain harder and thunder, and there blew a cold wind. "I think it's better if we go!" I began to get dressed while I watched Kristen who still lay in the water. The flow was harder and there came flashes every second. "Kristen, come on!" From that moment everything went quickly. Suddenly Kristen entrained with the hard power. "Kristen!" I screamed, I sounded like a girl so high and hard it was. Kristen began to scream and couldn't stand up becaus of the cold. I ran into the water, as hard as I could but the flow was getting even harder. There were tears in my eyes, I was scared. That feeling, it was there again. Those crazy tickles in my belly, somewhere I knew that this was the end. That it wasn't going to be okay. The rain kept flowing and I heard a harsh thunder, the latter until I saw Kristen lying. Upside down in the river with her head against a stone. The water was red, red with blood. Everything in my head was spinning, I felt sick like I was about to threw up. This couldn't, this could not be true. It just couldn't. "Kristen.." The tears ran down my face, in my mouth and there was even slime on my chin. My heart banged up and down, I felt like I was going to faint. As soon as I could I pulled kristen up in my arms and I felt all my muscles getting weak. Where should I go? What could I do? "Kristen, wake up. Kristen!" I cried it out, patted on her cheeks while the rain ran down my face and my wet hair pasted on my face. I saw her head, her head covered with blood and her eyes were half closed. "Wake up. Please ba.." My voice was suddenly gone and I started to hyperventilate. I ran through the forest, through the dark forest. I did not know where to go, what to do. I kept running while the nasty weather continued. "Help!" My voice echoed through the trees. I could not see anything but just kept on running. My shirt was covered with blood, my throat was pinched and the tears kept flowing. I did not feel good, I felt so sick. This could not be true. I could not lose her, not now. My life would totally change without her. Suddenly every memory with her played like some kind of video in my head. All those sweet memories, all those stupid fights about nothing. It stopped at the foamfight and suddenly switched into her eyes full with tears while her father hit her. "Help! Please, just please.." I could hardly talk through the fear and tears and now began to breathe heavily. Kristen still didn't show a sign of life and still hung limp in my arms. Everything revolved around me and it seemed as if the trees danced. Nowhere could I find the car, apparently I went deeper into the forest. I ran as hard as I can, but my legs and muscles were getting weaker. I kept running and running until I fell on an outstretched stump. I fell to the ground, with Kristen on top of me. And the tears began to flow harder, I felt a twinge in my back. A stab of pain. "Please help. Just please someone help me. Please.."