Nothing's Fine, I'm Torn.

Beeping sound

Slowly I opened my eyes and saw a large stain. The background was very light and I could barely see where I was. In the distance I heard voices pronounce my name, cheerful, happy but still very soft. "Harry, oh thank god.." I felt a hand on my head that swept the hair out of my face. I wanted to say something but my mouth was dry, I felt so weak. For the first time in my life I longed for water. "Harry, can you hear me?" It was a soft but sweet voice calling my name now for the umpteenth time. I closed my eyes, blinked a few times and once I stopped my image was sharp. I slowly crawled up with difficulty, the pitch ran through my body from bottom to top. I looked around me.  I was in a white room, all around me stood devices and I even heard a beep that I never thought to myself that I would hear. The device that played my heartbeat. I looked beside me and saw Laura. Her eyes were red and puffy and in her peripheral vision you saw the tears as if she could cry again at any moment. "Harry, I'm so glad to see you!" She gave me a big kiss on my cheek and then I heard her softly sobbing. I could not even remember why I was here. Why on earth lay in a hospital bed, with thousands of devices around me, tubes in my arm and crying people? I rubbed my head, hoping that the pain would go away and that I would remember something. "It's all so terrible. You and Kristen.." She bit her lip as she squeezed my hand gently together. Suddenly I could remember, the terrible night, the river, the blood, the wooden cabin, Kristen. I sat up even though I felt the pain raise again. "Kristen, Kristen!" I began to scream as loud as I could but instead there sounded only some whispers. "Laura, where is Kristen?" All memories suddenly came back up, I felt my eyes fill with tears. Laura looked at me without saying anything while still holding my hand tight. She sobbed softly and kept looking at me with a penetrating look as if she could read minds. "Kristen.. I need to see her now!" As soon as I could I hit the white sheets off me, I rolled out of bed and felt my legs getting weak. "Harry, you can't! You're not strong enough, you.." I pushed Laura to the side making her fall back on the wooden chair. "Harry!" Laura screamed, my head was pounding and everything revolved. I grabbed around me to hold me and I could just hold on to the iron rod of the bed. I was grabbed from behind and saw that Liam, Niall, Zayn and Louis were also in the room now. Liam and Louis lifted me gently in the bed. The only thing I could do was cry, I had to see her. I needed to know if she was ok. Niall sat next to me on the bed, gave me a hug and then looked sadly down again. His eyes were red, as red as a tomato. "I missed you, Harry." His voice sounded hoarse and he sniffed his snotty nose as he began to cry very loud. "What happened, Harry? What happened to Kristen?" Zayn's eyes, which were filled with tears too, now met mine and he stroked gently the hair out of my face. I hid my face in my hands, the only thing I could do was cry, all the sadness out of my soul. Suddenly I felt twelve arms around me, what gave me a warm and loving feeling. The feeling that I was not alone now.

I sat in front of the bed, heard in the distance the device beeping, the only thing I could do was stare. I felt a hand on my shoulder, as a sign, and then the person softly closed the door behind him. She lay there, silent, with her eyes closed, no sign of life anywhere. "Kristen.." I gently stroked her cheeks which felt lukewarm. "It's me, Harry.." My voice was deep and husky, full of sorrow. It felt good that I could hear the sound of her heart and her body moved slowly up and down as she breathed. The large wound on her head was attached. The doctor had told she had a dozen of stitches in her head. "I'm so sorry.." I swallowed the lump in my throat as the tears flowed from my eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't be on time.." I felt the guilt in my body getting worse. It felt like it was my fault that she was here now, so silent, with brain damage, in a coma. "Please, don't leave me alone.." I brushed her hair out of her face which felt wet and greasy. I sat beside her in bed, close to her, even though I knew somewhere that it no longer helped. I felt it, this wasn't good, this was the end. "Kristen, please don't leave me.. Please. I love you so much.." I gave her a kiss on her lips, a soft but sweet kiss. From that moment the heart device beeped very loud, an intolerable beep, a beep that this was the end. The door flew open and three doctors came running into the room with all appliances and anxious faces. "Out of the way young man!" The man pushed me against the wall. "Kristen. Kristen!" I screamed as loud as I could, this couldn't be happening, not now, please. "Don't let me down, you had promised me.." I cried as hard as I could, screamed, kicked the wall while the beeping raged by. Liam came running into the room, and hit an arm around me. "She promised me.. please.. ple.." I felt so dizzy, sick, like I was about to threw up. I felt like my world was fallen apart, like the ground under me slowly sank away. I finally found her, the girl of my dreams, the perfect girl in the whole world. And now she was taken away from me, she was gone, far away from me. I saw that the beeping stopped, how Kristen left the room and how the doctor came towards me with a worried expression. "I'm sorry, kid." He squeezed my shoulder a little together, bit on his lip and turned around again. This was it, this was the end.

Author's note

Hi lovely readers,

I'm sorry if I left you all teary. This is the penultimate chapter, so there's gonna follow one more. I hope you liked it for so far. Please let me know what you think? Oh and votes & comments are really appreciated. Maybe after this fanfic i'm gonna write one more, a whole new story. But only if you guys like it? Leave your comments below.

Much love, Naomi