Sobriety Is Super Overrated

Seeing Ghosts

I look around the room to see that the others were seriously expecting me to be able to conjure Satan just like that, with the snap of my fingers. I wasn't offended that for once they believed in me, I was just angry that I couldn't actually do the thing they were expecting of me. Mainly because I'm a failure and I fail them every time. Which is exactly why they shouldn't believe in me.

"How am I supposed to conjure the devil?" I ask Five, frustrated at my own powers and my inability to control them.

"I don't know how your powers work. Maybe you could try drawing a pentagon and chanting?"

"Isn't that to summon demons?"

"Do you have any other ideas?" He made a good point. I didn't have any other ideas besides maybe trying to meet her at the cross roads again, but there was no guarantee that she would be there.

"Okay, but what do I draw the pentagon with?"

"Maybe we should just look at satanic rituals on the internet?"

Diego took out his phone and started searching something up.

"Ew. This one says you need goat phallus." Just the thought of that grossed me out. Maybe the internet wasn't the best place to look for how to summon demons.

"Well, screw that idea. What do you usually do when you're trying to summon someone?" Five asks, clearly repulsed by the idea of cutting off a goat's dick.

"Well I usually just sit with my legs crossed and try to focus."

"Well, why don't you just try that first, dumb ass?"

"Because the devil made me take LSD so that I could get to heaven and now I might not be at my most sober."

"It's the only thing we can try right now so why not?" I could see Five was starting to get frustrated at me. I sat down and crossed my legs.

"No one talk I'm trying to summon Satan!" I scream at the top of my lungs. I have a feeling like this won't work. Plus, if I return god to power she probably won't let me be with Dave. The devil on the other hand won't send me back and I can spend all of eternity with the one I love. Which sounds overrated, but it probably isn't, granting that good old Satan hasn't changed anything about heaven since she started ruling.

When I open my eyes again, good old Satan is standing right in front of me.

"What do you want now?" She asks in her 'don't fucking fuck with me or you're going to get it' voice.

"You guys! Satan is here! We can all throw a tea party now and be friends!" I say sarcastically. Of course they probably can't see her, but she looks incredibly frightening, more so than she did last time. Like she's angry at me for summoning her.

"Well fight her!"

It's kind of awkward trying to fight Satan. Especially since she's more powerful than me and I also made a deal with her.

I swing my fist and her face.

She teleports to the other side of the room.

"Why the hell do you want to fight me?"

"Why the hell do you want to destroy the world?"

"I don't I just want to watch people suffer."

"Why?"

"I'm the devil, do you really need any other reason?"

"I suppose not."

"Then why are you asking."

"Because I don't want you to destroy the world."

"I already helped you so that you can be reunited with your stupid boyfriend and now suddenly you want god back on the throne?"

"Yes."

"That's dumb."

"I didn't know you were going to destroy the earth."

"A deal is a deal."

"Hey devil lady! Fuck you!" Diego yells, throwing a ceramic pot in the opposite direction that Satan is in. The pot smashes against the wall into a million little shards.

"Uhh Diego?"

"Yeah?"

"The Devil is on the other side of the room."

"Where?"

"You can't attack her like that. Normal weapons won't harm ghosts."

"What will harm her then?"

"I honestly have no fucking idea."

"You're useless, Klaus."

"I appreciate you telling me that, Five."

I had to think of something and thing of something fast. Because if I didn't then she would either leave or we would all be damned to hell and both of those things probably involve me not seeing Dave ever again. Then I looked at Ben in the corner of the room.

"Ben use your powers!"

He whipped out his tentacles and starting thrashing them around. They would have probably hit me if I were a ghost. I knew Ben hated using his powers and the whole being a superhero in general, but I was glad he was willing to use them to save us just this one time. I don't know why, but whenever we went on missions Ben always seemed sad and like he didn't want to be there. None of us wanted to be there, really, but Ben especially.

A huge giant squid type tentacle hit the devil in the face. She teleported to the other side of the room and wiped some gooey slime left over from where it hit her off her face. Ben just hit her again, this time smashing her against the wall. She looked passed out, or at least too weak to fight. I closed my eyes as Ben used two of his four tentacles to grab her and lift her into the air. One tentacle was grabbing her torso and the other her legs. Ben quickly ripped her apart, causing her blood to splatter like a paint ball all over the room and the wallpaper. Ben's tentacles retracted.

Nobody could see the blood but me, and no one realized that the fight was other, nor the fact that it had even begun. Diego was still throw objects around the room, thinking that at any moment now he was about to hit the devil.

When I looked over at Ben's blood streaked face I could see an expression on his face that shocked me.

Ben had this look of complete horror on his face.

And then I remembered why.

I remember him telling me, shortly after he died. That he would never murder ever again. That now that he knew what it was like to be dead he didn't want anyone else to have to go through the same thing because of him, even if they deserved it.

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