roses bite - tyrus

tj| ii: stuff

i was wandering to the park since i couldn't sleep - i never can. my 'stuff' keeps me up at night. i sit on the swings where i first properly met cyrus. we had been hanging out here a lot since the whole bus meet up.

i dangle my legs off the swings, thinking back to that moment. the stars were out gleaming luminously. it was quite beautiful actually. i didn't have my music playing - only the mellow wind blowing. it was quiet. silent.

my stuff... my stuff is big stuff, to me it is anyway. i try not to let it get me down but it always finds a way to do so. one part of it is why i can't talk to my parents about it, and my parents are also the reasons for some of my stuff. i know i'm not making sense.

something happened at home with my dad, he lost his job since his company went bankrupt. then mom left, so that left me and my sister to get part time jobs to help pay the bills. mom couldn't wait to leave, her and dad had been talking about getting a divorce for a while. i also told mom a huge secret of mine (which also happens to be a part of my stuff) and it didn't go well at all, i was another reason why she left. and that's why i haven't told dad or amber or anyone about my stuff because it just creates bigger problems. dad tried to get back on his feet - he really did - however no one would take him up for a job.

i hum the tune of cyrus' song whilst moving. i'm glad we're talking again, i just wish buffy would approve and see that i won't hurt cyrus, at least not intentionally. cyrus really brought out the best in me, he believed in me when no one else did. and that's why i gave him a chance.

'muffin' stupid stupid tj. what were you thinking? he's probably weirded out by you, why do you say stupid things. i mean he didn't say he didn't like it. he also never said he did... i'm sure it's fine.

i walk back to my house, sneaking in through the window and lay back on my bed falling asleep.

//////////////

beep. beep.

i rush, quickly getting changed and grabbing my bag before running downstairs making some breakfast eating it whilst running to the bus stop which i make it with just five minutes to spare.

as i get on, i look around to see if cyrus was on, which he wasn't.

to: underdog
ur not on the bus? :(

from underdog:
sadly not, i'm walking with buffy and andi. i'll catch u at school? :)

to underdog:
sure :))

well that clears that up. at least he's not sick. soon enough the bus pulls up outside the school. instead of waiting like i normally do, i push my way off and walk into the halls scanning my eyes across the masses of students. i spot and make my way over to cyrus who's stood next to his two best friends, along with jonah, walker, marty (from the party) and amber?

"fuck off kippen."
"i'm not here for you driscoll."
at that i turn and smile at cyrus, completely ignoring amber which she mutters a 'rude'.

"so muffin, i missed you on the bus."
"teej! i didn't miss the bus but i missed you."
"meet me at the spoon later?"
cyrus nods his head eagerly which caused me to blush slightly.

i then here a quiet cough and glare at amber. "yes?"

"you have work tonight. we can't afford not to do our shifts?" i purse my lips.

"maybe dad should try harder at getting a fucking job." i turn and walk away, amber shouting behind me for no longer than ten seconds, before i make it to my first class.