TRACK 3

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𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝟛

JEALOUS GUY / JOHN LENNON /
ALBUM: IMAGINE / 1971

This song... my dad took it
to heart. It hurt him to listen
to this song because it spoke
to him. He was feeling it and
he knew that the lyrics decribed
his relationship with my mother.

I was feeling insecure is a lyric that
my dad then starts to cry. I was swallowing
my pain was another one that would make
him sob. His relationship with mom
was turning to ruins by now.

He didn't mean to get jealous.
He really didn't mean to.
He was just trying to understand
why his wife was talking to another man
and touching him and trailing
her hand up and down his arm.

He didn't mean it. He didn't mean
the vulgar words he used. But mom
meant the words she told the man
in his ear. Dad was jealous. He was jealous.
Just because mom couldn't stop
whoring around.

You're this. You're that. You
work too much. Love me.
Stop. Come give me your attention.
Stop giving your children
enough attention and give me
everything. Mom's thoughts
consisted of these and... Dad was
too far up his ass to notice
this.

I'm sorry I got jealous, he said,
on his knees. I'm sorry I
let myself come out like this.
I am. He sobbed. I'm sorry
I haven't paid enough attention.
I'm such a fool. I'm sorry for
not giving you enough, please
tell me you're not mad, too.

But if only he knew that a jealous
guy like him should've done something
to the man, because at this point,
the bed he slept on was already being
slept on by a man unknown.

Mom was cheating on him but she
only viewed him a jealous guy. He
viewed himself as a jealous guy and
his kids thought of him as the
worst father for ignoring them all
like they aren't there at all.

They were all just fucked up
by now. I was. Rene was. Ryver was.
Rainbow was. Reina was. Dad was.
We were a dysfunctional family.



!



AUTHOR'S NOTE

this book is flopping
guys and akskdkjd i
don't want it to flop
because reina is a good
ass character (in my opinion)
and it would suck to put her
on hold. i'll update a lot
more with this book.

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