Flightless Bird

Chapter 22 - part 2

"So..." I started.

"So..." Jacob echoed,

"Have you talked to Jayson this morning since I saw you earlier?" I asked, getting straight to the point. I knew if I put it off I would never want to do it. I mean, I didn't want to do it, but I knew I had to. If I stalled, I'd always be trying to convince myself he didn't need to know.

"Nope, I've just been with Anna all morning," he said in a tired voice.

"Good. Well, I have to tell you something," I told him.

"What is it Kerri?" Jacob asked, sensing something was wrong.

"I did something really bad," I admitted, my head dropping to the floor, my feet shuffling uncomfortably.

"What did you do?" he demanded. He was asking, but I think he already knew. I raised my head, trying to meet his gaze.

"I...I..."

"Say it," he said fiercely, no emotion betraying his hard stare.

"I kissed Charlie."

This time it was Jacob who dropped his head, as though he could no longer bear to hold it up. He could no longer bear to look at me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen, and as soon as it did I regretted it!" I cried, pleading with him to understand. I needed him to forgive me.

"I want to be with you," I whispered plaintively.

"Yeah, but do you really mean that? Or are you just saying it because you know what you did to me?" he asked angrily, launching himself from the wall to sit in the chair that Clark had previously vacated.

"I mean it! I do! Please, Jacob, just let me explain."

He didn't speak right away, and watching him sitting in that chair, with his head in his hands and his ebony hair spilling over his fingers, I was filled with such a deep regret that I just couldn't imagine having him leave me. I needed him. Eventually, he raised his head. I felt a pang in my heart when I saw his face, pale and streaked with tears.

"Fine, explain."

I took a deep breath, then started, "I went up to the attic with Lexi to rehearse for the auditions. As soon as we got up there, I knew there was someone else up there hiding, and I didn't want to freak Lexi out so I asked her to go down and find Jayson and rehearse with him. Once Lexi was gone, Charlie came out. I didn't understand what was happening, and then it did, and I knew it was so wrong and I regretted it so much. I ran away, and then I ran into you. I knew I had to tell you, because I didn't want to keep secrets from you. I love you too much."

"You love me?"

"Yes."

"You love me? Don't kid yourself Kerri, you're just a kid. And you certainly don't love me if you can go around cheating on me."

"I didn't mean it!"

"Doesn't mean you didn't do it."

"Jacob..."

"Just go," he ordered. I knew there was no more argument.

I left him.