This Ain't Good

5: Ignorance and Arrogance

The afternoon rays shone through the window into my squinting face, dust particles visible, moving an inch and leaving the naked eye's vision. The day had ended, all my class work as well as homework completed and handed in to the teacher, his disgust for me evident in his reluctance to be near me. I was packing my things into my yellow backpack silently as the class hurriedly poured out in a clamour of incessant sound. It was just Kacchan, two of his mindless lackeys, and I. Well, considering the events of the day and everyone finding out I was trying to get into Yuuei, I can easily say this much for myself in this situation: rest in peace, me. And just as I thought, the trio approached me, shoes hitting the ground with growing echoes. I knew what was going to happen, I'd remind myself not to use my quirk and then black out, a whole scenario passing by until my brain would wake to a bruised body. Or, I won't black out, I'll just forget everything in an hour or two so instead. To remember the events of the day, I keep a detailed diary -or journal, whatever- regarding my everyday life, it's pretty drab. I keep telling Dad that I should probably see a doctor about my issues, me passing out, fainting and losing consciousness frequently, the memory loss and fatigue, but he always shrugs it off and tells me he knows why this is happening so there's no need for any 'crappy medical graduates' to get involved. If he knows why, why won't he tell me?

The boys came up to my bag and I, grabbing some of my school equipment, I let them do as they please, but instead of a blasé aura surrounding me, I was surrounded in fear. This happens any time someone approaches me, it's like I have a useless alter-ego who's afraid of everything coming out to play, only to use my doll body as a protective cover. It's odd saying alter-ego when it's really just me, isn't it? No one asked you.

As I was putting the rest of my books in my bag while the others were making fun of all my stationary (because that's what these sad, fourteen-year-old boys do to me), Kacchan snatched the one book I didn't want anyone to see out of my grasp. The exercise book titled 'Q.U.E Portable, #13'.

"What's this about? The fuck does Queue mean?" He questioned harshly.

"Uh... I-it's Q.U.E. Kaccha- "

"Shut up, I don't care how you pronounce it, but what's it mean, Nerd?" I swallowed.

"It means, uh, Q-Quirk Uses and Experimen- "

"QUIRK? You have to have a quirk to be able to write this kinda crap, Shitty Nerd!" He yelled with disbelief and disgust in his voice. I'm glad he doesn't know I have a quirk; he'll just keep underestimating and undermining me like everyone else, and when I finally 'come out' they'll be more shocked than mere words can express. He glared at me, hatred penetrating my blank stare to prick my eyes, icy tears forming. I hate crying in front of people, but I can't get out with Pause this time. "Look guys, the little shit is crying, guess he just needed reminding of his quirkless, pathetic, useless self!" His goons snickered at his false statements.

My eyes were filling, vision wobbling under the water. My usually straight lips wavering into a mumbled line of 'I know K-Kacchan...'s and 'I-I'm sorry...'s. He stared me dead in the eyes then flicked through the note book, eyes widening the slightest.

"This... This quirk doesn't even exist! You just made one up for yourself... Didn't you!? This is just some lame, fucking Mary-Sue type shit!" He never has believed in the extraordinary, has he? No, not really. He returned to my eyes, a concerning smirk replacing his scowl. He snapped the book shut. Stand back. I listened and took a few, oddly accustomed steps backward, in time to dodge a blast erupting from Kacchan's angry fist against my book, before it soared out of the open window, a slight slosh heard from the fish pond outside. My eyes started overflowing as my weeks of hard work flew out the window, part of my grand scheme for the future, obliterated in less than a minute. Sadness swallowed me, my voice was stuck in my throat, suffocating. He turned straight towards me, putting his hands on my shoulders and uniform, with a cheery, almost friendly, smile. "Now get out of here and don't dare to even glance my way. If you so much as THINK about getting into Yuuei and becoming a hero, I'll fucking kill you!" He grinned as his hands burned a familiar fire, singing my shoulders, charring my school clothes, smoke stinging my wet eyes as if it had done so before. In an instant the three were standing in the doorway, the classroom housing four soon to be one. "You wanna be a hero so bad? I've got a time-saving idea for you." He continued, unbeknownst to the real reason I wanted to get into Yuuei, "If you think you'll have a quirk in your next life and that shitty book was just some 'preparations'... Go take a swan dive off the roof!!" the room of four burst into laughter, some tears conjured from schadenfreude, some from hope depleting and laughs to cope. Laughs to force my voice box and chords back to where they're meant to be. The bullies strode out of the room, laughing at me while my tears were regenerating and releasing.