Hermione was able to make it up the staircase to the boys' dormitories as the wards that would have stopped her were no longer working due to how badly the castle had been attacked. And, although this was indeed sad, Hermione couldn't help but feel relieved that she didn't have to wait for Harry to come down to talk to him, or worse yet, attempt to use his broom to fly over the stair case.
In all of this chaos it was crazy to believe that it was over.
All of it.
Harry has done the impossible once again by defeating the Dark Lord. Again, that is. But Hermione knew him well enough to know that despite how everyone else was now feeling, Harry would feel differently.
She knew he would blamed himself for all the lives that were tragically lost and it pained her that there wasn't much she could do to help ease that pain.
"Harry?" She knocked on the door once she reached it. "Can I come in?"
No answer.
"Please." Hermione continued. "I know you're upset, but you can't shut me out. I won't let you."
Suddenly the door opened and Hermione saw Harry lying on his bed. She smiled.
"You're quite the wizard with wandless magic."
Despite her praise, Harry seemed to remain upset. "It doesn't matter anymore." He said "I'm done with the wizarding world. For good."
Hermione frowned. "You don't really mean that, do you?" She asked "Because I know you've been through a lot with the war and all, but hogwarts is your home." she said gesturing around the room. "This is your home."
He shook his head. "I thought it was, but I'm not really sure if it is anymore."
"Don't be ridiculous." Hermione scoffed
"I'm not. Sirius, Remus...so many people I considered my home are dead now."
"I'm not."
Harry's demeanor softened. "And I don't wanna risk that."
"My fate is not in your hands, it's in my own!" Hermione lashed out, tears forming in her eyes. "But if you want to throw away the future we planned for ourselves during those hopeless nights on the run, than by all means, go ahead."
"Hermione you don't understand!"
"What is there not to understand?"
"I can't be a father." he said "Or a husband, or any else we'd made plans for."
Hermione shook her head. "Harry don't say things like that." she said
"I'm not saying I don't love you, because I think it's pretty obvious I do, but I'm not sure you should rely on me for your future." he tried explaining "You're brilliant and can accomplish anything you put your mind to, but me...I'm just broken."
"We're all a bit broken." Hermione said "But you can't let that sop you from being happy."
"And being a husband and a father will?"
Tears were now forming in Hermione's eyes. "What are you saying?" she asked
"That things have changed since our nights on the run...the war's changed me, and I don't know if I can handle--"
"Merlin, Harry, the war has changed us all!" Hermione lashed out. "But once again, you're making it seem like this war has just affected you and hasn't taken a toll on anybody else!"
"That's not what I'm saying. Hermione, you know that!"
"Just like how I knew you wanted us to get married and start a family?"
"'Mione, please, I'm sorry." he said reaching out to her, but Hermione moved away
"I need some space, Harry." she said, "I'm not mad, I'm just a little upset and need the time to think things over...a lot was said."
"I know."
Hermione nodded and headed towards the door when Harry stopped her by calling out.
"I love you, Hermione." he said
"I love you, too."
***
A/N: I know i haven't updated in like forever its just been a crazy time for me applying to colleges and stuff. I'm also applying for a teaching position as a gap year and everythings been so stressful bc I'm only 17 and ugh its so stressful.
Anyways, I've been wanting to update for a while now but have had no time and no inspiration, but now all that applying to stuff is done and I think I have a good idea in where to take this story so hopefully i'll be updating regularly.
