°cherry tree°- •비민•

七

I wake up with Jimin's voice in my head again. It's only 6 AM. I turn on my phone and look for a plane ticket to Busan.

Every site I visit is too expensive. I'm about to give up when I realize I can just take the train.

I think of Jimin's way to come here but shake my head afterward. It's not the time. I quickly buy the ticket for tomorrow at 5 PM. I have money to stay in a hotel in case I don't make it.

I decide to go to school today.

Bad idea, I know, but it's the only way I can distract myself from Jimin.

I open my closet and put on my uniform.

I stare at my classmates having fun outside my window on the main street.

Before leaving, I take my cap and put it on to hide my face.

---

Arriving at school, I don't take any risk. I put my stuff in my locker and take the books I need. I immediately rush to the cherry tree behind the building.

It's empty and quiet. I finally feel my body relax, my mind falls in the deep hole of thoughts it normally is in.

I lay down on the fresh grass and put my hand to my right. I dream of Jimin suddenly coming back and holding it, but I feel nothing. I only feel the grass and the soft spring breeze.

I need Jimin with me.

I need him.

"Hey." I jump. "J-Jimin?!"

It's Jungkook. I contain my disappointment.

"Oh. Hey, Jungkook." He remains silent, then sits down next to me. "How are you feeling? You seemed weird yesterday," he says.

"I'm fine," I answer "Just a little tired." He smiles.

"I'm glad you are." I could take this positively. At least he isn't bullying me.

"My head hurts a little bit. Could you let me relax for a second? Don't take it the wrong way. I just feel really sick," I lie.

Jungkook smiles and nods. He touches my hand while standing up, making me shiver.

"See you soon!" Jungkook says.

I wait for him to be far enough to roll back to my position and cry.

I really am a crybaby.

Why does he like me? I mean, why does me like me? What do I have that's so special to him? I look terrible. I have zero self-confidence.

I hate myself.

I wish Jimin would be here. I have to bear this school day without him again.

I lay down on my back again. I feel water on me and I open my eyes.  It's raining.

I don't move from my position. I love it. I feel put down by the rain and it helps me fight what's happening in my mind and heart.

This feels good.

The water is warm.

Everything was too peaceful. Too peaceful.

It felt like death somehow.

The silence, the inner peace.

Too perfect.

The vibration noise coming from the back of my head stopped.

You don't realize it's there until it leaves. It left.