°cherry tree°- •비민•

二十三

Before I could ask him about anything, he stopped.

"You should get ready. I'm planning to spend all day there~"

He turned around and grabbed his clothes, putting them on.

His lips were pink and plump from kissing, and I found myself staring at them, licking my own lips and trying to look away.

Jungkook caught me and we made eye contact. I looked at the floor.

I began changing, heart aching. I could feel his stare on me. I didn't want to stare back, for some reason.

I felt guilty. Guilty of falling in love with him.

It was as if I was cheating on Jimin, even though we weren't dating.

I didn't even know if he considered us as friends.

I was probably nobody to him. I was a shadow that stayed with him for the shortest amount of time someone could stay.

I was a shadow to him. He probably doesn't remember my face, my actions. And he doesn't care about me, he never did.

And yet, I still can't get him out of my mind.

Jungkook and I left the house quickly.

We were halfway there and Jungkook pulled out his phone.

I internally panicked. Was he going to leave again?

I prayed for him to stay with me, just for a few more minutes, I didn't want him to leave again. I didn't want to be alone.

I didn't want to be alone.

I don't want to be alone.

I'm alone.

His phone rang and I winced, tugging on my jacket. I could have sworn I felt tears prick at my eyes.

"Sorry, I gotta take this call. I'll be right back."

I glanced at the phone screen and froze, my tears begging to be let out.

I saw the contact image. The full name. I saw the green and the red button, I saw everything. I stared at the screen for a solid five seconds, and I even rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.

But I wasn't.

And the contact name was Min Yoongi.

I watched as he happily answered the call, heading behind a tree.

I had already stopped walking, and I was crying alone in the middle of the street. I wiped my tears away with my sweater paws.

Jungkook didn't see me. I could hear him cheerfully talk on the phone, laughing and agreeing.

But I couldn't hear what he was saying. His speech was muffled and all I could hear were laughs. That's it.

Only laughing.

But even myself, couldn't laugh.

He lied to me. Jungkook lied to me.

I really thought we trusted each other and that our relationship was safe.

I guess it never was.

My heart began aching and I let it a muffled sob again.

I didn't know if everything was okay. It didn't feel okay. I wasn't okay at all.

Jungkook didn't love me anymore.

I began thinking, was it all my fault? Did I do something wrong?

Was I too sticky or too distant? I couldn't know.

Maybe Jungkook simply met someone else and... And it clicked? That Yoongi guy, he seems like a nice guy. Maybe things just came, and Jungkook fell in love.

I pinched myself to see if I wasn't dreaming.

I wish all of this was a dream. Not only the fact Jungkook is probably cheating on me... Everything.

I wish everything was just a dream.

The fact Jimin is dying. The fact I'm dating Jungkook. Everything.

What would have happened if I didn't run to the cherry tree that day? What would have happened if I was stronger? If I didn't run away like a baby?

Would I be here?

Would I be looking around for Jimin?

Would I know Jin? Would I be dating Jungkook?

Me and Jimin's relationship was entirely created by my weakness and his kindness. If I confronted Jungkook and Namjoon, I wouldn't be here. If he didn't talk to me that day, I wouldn't be here.

I looked behind me, then in front of me, and I found myself glancing back at the tree Jungkook was talking behind.

I closed my eyes, turning my head away and I walked.

I walked away.

I left.

I ran away.
From my feelings.

And for the first time in my life, I realized I couldn't fight back the fact I was weak.