How sweet all the little commies getting romantic uwo kill me lol
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Lithuania had been crushing on Belarus for a long time. But he was afraid to ask her out, because 1. She was scary, and 2. Her brother Russia was scary. Also Russia was his boss, so he would be twice as scary.
Finally he brought up the courage to ask. Except he asked Russia first.
"Excuse me, Mr. Russia, sir?" He said.
"Yes, Lithuania?"
"Erm, how would you react if your younger sister, Belarus had a partner? Not for any reason in particular hehehh..."
"Oh that would be splendid! Perhaps then she would stop trying to get me to marry her.." Said Russia.
"Oh that's great. I mean um yes." Said Lithuania, unsure how to reply. "Well I'm off to do some communist stuff now! Heh!"
"Okay, good luck!" Said Russia. Then he went all ninja mode and disappeared in a puff of smoke for no reason.
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Lithuania knocked on belarus' door.
"Excuse me, ms be-"
A knife flew at the door, impaling it.
"Who is it!?"
"Um, it's Lithuania!"
"Oh. Come in I guess."
Lithuania nervously opened the door to find Belarus sitting on the floor, sharpening knives.
Suddenly, passion surged through his body.
"KNIFU WAIFU! GO OUT WITH ME PLZ PLZ PLZ! LOL!" He cried, on his knees, as pink flowers and glitter rained from the ceiling.
Belarus ran away, thoroughly scarred.
"Lithuania is sweet I suppose... But I would much rather become with brother Russia! I've been practicing my laugh! Kalkelkolkilkul owo!" She said to herself, running down the long hallway carrying several knives in each hand and a few in her mouth.
Suddenly she bumped into Ukraine. Luckily it didn't hurt because... You know. It's Ukraine.
;-;
Somehow neither of them got stabbed when Belarus dropped all her knives.
"Oh, hello sister! " said Ukraine. "Why do you have all those?..."
"Because..." Muttered Belarus, sitting on the floor picking up her knives. "I like them."
"Oh."
"Have you seen brother?" Asked Belarus once she had them all.
"Oh I believe he is in the kitchen—"
"GOTTABLAST" said Belarus, bolting past Ukraine at the speed of sound.
How am I related to these people, thought Ukraine.
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"Ah, alone at last!" Said Russia, sitting in the cupboard under the sink where his waifu lived-Piper the magic metal pipe of pain.
Suddenly the cupboard door swung open with more force than needed and flew off the hinge and broke a window.
"BIH BROHER" yelled Belarus except it sounded weird because she was holding knives between her teeth again. "BEHOME UHN WIH ME"
"No please! I have a girlfriend already!"
"I WILL KILL HER"
"You can't, she's made of metal!"
"DANG IH"
Belarus sulked back to her room, still carrying all her knives.
"Now what..." She muttered, laying on her bed. "I've got nobody—"
"You've got me" said Lithuania making a Lenny face at her.
"Oh yeah. Guess I can make do with you uwu you're my boyfriend now! Maybe I can make brother Russia jealous! "
"Oh okay..." Said Lithuania. That was not the kind of relationship he was expecting. But hey it was better than nothing. He was now the boyfriend of his crush, even if it was only to make someone jealous.
But then, a few weeks later, Russia and piper got married. It was a double wedding with Iceland and fridge chan, except Iceland was shook the whole time and Denmark kept screeing. But that's not what this story is about.
"AAAAAA!!!!!!!" Screamed Belarus after the wedding, then proceeding to scream every old fashioned insult she could thing of. "NINCOMPOOPS!!! BLASPHEMY!!!! BOX TELEVISION!!!!!"
"So.. Does this mean we can date for real now?" Asked Lithuania.
"YES!!! I NEED SOMEONE TO EASE THE PAIN!!!!!!!" Screeched Belarus, then furiously hugged him, still screaming.
The end.
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Draw a circle that's how straight we are (hetalia crackshots)
Fanfictionhetalia oneshots ~ terrible xreaders and ships