The New Horizon ~ A Maze Runner Story

- 16 -

It was like some giant rogue wave of guilt had crashed over Thomas. He felt internally wet, like a sopping mess of confusion. His mind had been buzzing with so many thoughts, so many puzzles he was internally figuring out. Then the addition of relations thrown into that mix was enough to cram his brain . . . It was all too much. And he didn't feel like sorting out more than he had to. Memories engulfed him, creating an ugly pit of recollection. Him and Brenda, their odd, once-enjoyable past. The kisses, the grieving, the laughs, the jokes. The good and the bad they'd shared together. He'd known Brenda for a while, but the uncertainty he felt was too unnerving. He suddenly wished she'd agreed to have her own room. He couldn't bring himself to see her, not yet anyway.

So Thomas stayed put outside, on the balcony, sucking in the fresh air. A slight whirl of wind whipped at his hair and shirt. Frustrated, he let out a sigh, laying his elbows on the balcony railing. Peering out into the real world. Peering out into the wonderful dusk sunset that colored the atmosphere with blues and oranges and pinks. Down below him, the incredible beauty of the green lawn property stretched on. Being surrounded by that much verdure made him forget about the Flare, about the Scorch or any other destroyed city he hadn't witnessed that was surely out there, tarnished by the Sun Flares.

Thomas wanted to jump off and explore. Find all the amazing things that awaited him down in the cities that Lieutenant Smith talked about. Miles and miles in the distance where Thomas could see the skyscrapers glistening underneath the golden sun. To have fun, meet people, hear their stories of how they traveled to British Columbia. Live the life a normal eighteen-year-old would live. But he couldn't. At least not now. Now, he had to swallow the feelings of mixed guilt and shame; he'd hurt Brenda, more than he realized. He'd been the one that let their relationship fizz out. He'd been the one that ruined it all, and more than ever Thomas wanted to become devoid of all abilities to think of love.

"Hey, Thomas."
Thomas turned around to see Aris walking beside him. His expression--and voice--monotone, as usual. "Minho's hogging the TV trying to look for the news channel. Anyway, I thought I'd come outside until he figures that out."
"Sure," Thomas nodded, "I don't mind. I just came out here to think."
Aris gripped the railing, peering around at AFA's immense property. "About what?"
Thomas blew out a breath. "Nothing, just how much I wanna go out there and discover the city."

"Tell me about it. I'd kill to go down there and see everything."
Thomas hoped Aris wasn't being literal. Again silence broke loose; the only sound was the breeze swirling around, whipping past them. Until Aris spoke up, his eyes gazing out into the distance, on nothing in particular. Like some kind of catatonia. "Do you ever think about your family and where they are?"

"Yeah, I do," Thomas said, letting out another sigh. "Truth is, I don't know where they are, or if they're still alive . . . In fact, a big part of me knows they're not."
Aris nodded, still gazing out, giving Thomas the creeps. "I know how you feel . . . Crazy how they were there one day and then I was gone the next, taken by stupid WICKED."
The thought of Thomas's parents and WICKED brought a whole new layer of heaviness to his heart. It was agonizing to imagine his parents sick, becoming cannibals in the streets, Cranks past the Gone. It hurt him in a place he didn't know could hurt that bad. Like nothing else, for what felt like the thousandth time that day, Thomas wanted to change the morbid subject. 

The second thing on his mind, besides Brenda and his family, was food, and he felt so screwed up for being hungry while talking about death and his deceased parents. But he hadn't eaten anything since morning, and that was a measly handful of berries and dried chicken. Hunger had been poking at him for several hours now, and he refused to be a victim of it any longer.
"How about we get some burgers?" Thomas finally asked, surprising Aris from his blank stare. The boy finally looked up and nodded. "You bet. I'm starving."