bad girls don't cry {brendon urie x reader}

{i'm tired of being tired}

 
  i trudged to brendon's dressing room and hoped he wasn't in a fighting mood. i opened the door and saw him sitting on the couch, arms crossed, and an angry look was plastered on his face.

  i really got my hopes up didn't i.

  "hey, bren! did you see the show?" i giddily asked, ignoring his angry state.

  "yup." he snarled.

  "did you hear that high note i hit. this show was amazing. everyone did so good tonight!" i clapped and brendon rolled his eyes.

  "what's wrong, brendon?" i asked.

  "nothing!" he abruptly stood up.

  "there is obviously something wrong so what's gotten your panties in a twist?"

  "you jumping on ryder's back." he mumbled.

  i put my hands on my hips, "are you actually serious right now? you're mad for no reason." i snapped.

  "you were flirting! you probably have feelings for him, don't you?"

  "do you hear yourself right now, brendon? do you hear how childish you sound? you're pissed about something so stupid." i yelled.

  "you didn't answer my fucking question, y/n! do you have feelings for ryder?" he shouted.

  "baby, isn't it obvious? i don't have feelings for anyone but you. i love you more than i can even express, but i'm getting really tired of you acting like a child." i sighed and left the dressing

  i stomped to my dressing room and saw ryan and ryder there.

  "what happened? we could hear you guys yelling." ryan said.

  "sorry about that. brendon is angry that i hopped on ryder's back. he thinks i have feelings for you or something." i chuckled at that statement.

  "woah! dude, all you ever talk about is how happy he makes you or how much you miss him. it's so obvious that you love him. if he doesn't see that then i don't know what to tell you, hun." ryder said and pulled me into a hug.

  "he's being very petty, moon. give him a few hours and he'll apologize." ryan stated as he rubbed my back.

  i pulled away from ryder and rolled my eyes, "i don't want to wait a few hours for him to grow up. i want to cuddle with him and tell each other how good we did onstage. i want to fall asleep in his arms and wake up tomorrow morning to his stupid face. i just want brendon." ryder and ryan gave me sad smiles at my statement.

  i let tears fall that i was holding back, "i'm just tired of the fights. i'm tired of his petty jealousy. i'm tired of not being able to do anything with my guys friends without him thinking i'm in love with the guy. i'm tired of all the useless drama that he creates. i'm tired of being tired and i just want him to grow up and realize that i love him with all of my heart." i cried.

  ryan wrapped me in a tight embrace while i cried on his shoulder.

  "it's gonna be okay, moon, just talk to him about how you feel."

  "ryan, it's not that easy, it will just end in a fight. i'm too tired to have another fight so can we please just go to the hotel." i pleaded.

  he nodded and grabbed my backpack. i threw it over my shoulder and walked out of the dressing room. the boys were already in the bus. ryan joined me on my bus and he hung out with the boys. i set my backpack down and hopped in my bunk. we had a twenty minute drive to the hotel and i took a nap through the entire time.

at the hotel

  we got to the hotel and checked into our rooms. at the time, i forgot that brendon and i were sharing a room. i was way too tired to care and hurried to our room. i opened the door and put my suitcase by the closet. i walked to the bathroom to take a quick shower and put on my pajamas. i brushed my teeth and my hair.

  i walked out of the bathroom and saw brendon sitting on the bed. he looked up at me with puppy dog eyes that were red and puffy. he was definitely crying.

  i walked over to the bed and sat down, "if you're trying to start another argument, brendon, i'm not in the mood."

  "i'm not angry or looking for a fight. i'm just sorry." he apologized.

  "i accept your apology but i'm still upset with you brendon." i stated.

  "why?"

  "you really wanna know why? i'm upset because you were being childish. you got jealous over nothing. i'm annoyed, brendon. we have gotten into two arguments today and i don't want to get into another one. i just wish you would grow up."

  "i know. i understand why your angry and annoyed. i know i was being unreasonable and a jerk. i don't want you to be angry with me anymore, baby." he tried to put his arm around me but i pulled away.

  "you don't get it do you?" he gave me a questioning look, "after i got off stage, i wanted to hear you congratulate me on my first show, just like i did to you. but do you know what i got? i got my boyfriend acting like a five year old. what i wanted tonight was to come to this hotel and cuddle and talk with you until we fell asleep. i didn't want to fight. i'm tired of fighting all the time brendon. since you guys released the album, we've been fighting on and off. we had TWO fights just today and you started both of them. you get angry with me over the smallest things. let me live my life, brendon." i pleaded.

  "i've been angry, y/n, and you don't understand that. i'm sorry that i've been controlling and jealous. i just don't want to loose you. if you have feelings for another guy, tell me because i don't want to be led on." he stated.

  "oh my fucking god! here we go again with the feelings. do you understand that it kills me to hear you say that. we have been together for almost seven months and i have never been this happy in my life. you make me so happy and you don't see it at all. i don't know what i have to do to prove i love you." i let the tears fall while i yelled.

  "y/n, do you want to know the real reason why i am like this?" he questioned.

  i nodded for him to continue, "before you met me, i was a douchebag. i fucked countless girls and led them on and let them believe i was head over heels in love with them when in reality, i was fucking three other girls. i get so uptight and petty about this because i would never want what i did to those girls be done to me. i changed a lot after i met you. i'm not jealous, i'm just scared. you're beyond amazing, y/n. you have such a kind heart and you are such a fucking gem. i don't ever want to loose you. you mean so much to me and i am beyond sorry for making you feel that way." he pulled me into a hug and we cried in each other's arms.

  our crying eventually subsided after a few minutes and we laid down. he cuddled me and tossed the blankets over us.

  "i love you with all my heart, baby." he whispered.

  "i love you too, brendon." i yawned and drifted to sleep.

  i fell asleep hoping that the future would get better.

~~~
that's it for this chapter guys! i hope y'all enjoyed even though it was kinda sad. don't forget to comment what you like/dislike about the chapters. bye my vros!