Heartbroken

Chapter 14:

When I got to school on Monday, I immediately considered my options. Option #1: Avoid Chris and avoid the feeling of guilt

Option #2: Find Chris and explain to him WHY I said 'no'

I so badly wanted to go with option #1 but stuck with option #2. It beat looking like a goddamn jerk by a mile.

Finally, I saw him and I went up to him, and nervously tapped his shoulder. When he turned around, his eyes were mixed with sadness and anger and he wore a frown of disapproval.

"Chris," I said, my voice full of remorse. "I'm sorry I said 'no' to you. I didn't mean to."

"You mean," he said, his voice rising from sadness to happiness. "That you didn't mean to say 'no'? You meant to say 'yes'?"

"Ah," I was trapped, and I didn't know any better way to say it. "Well, I didn't mean to say THAT. I did mean to say 'no'. I just.. well I can't... you know I won't-" Chris put his hand up as if he had heard enough.

"I get it," he said sadly. He looked up at me. "Is it Luke?"

"What," I said. "What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb with me," Chris said angrily. "It's obvious you STILL have feelings for Luke!"

I didn't know what to say. Still? I thought. HOW DID HE KNOW I HAD FEELINGS FOR LUKE IN the first place!? HOW MANY other PEOPLE KNOW I LIKE LUKE? IS IT THAT OBVIOUS!?

"Chris," I said, trying to calm him down. "I just want I just NEED you to understand that I'm not ready to get into a relationship-"

"Wait," he said. "Was I ASKING you OUT!? I don't think I was!"

"I didn't mean it like that," I said, growing angry. "You should know what I mean by that! I said no because I didn't want to grow feelings for you!"

"Am I that horrible!?" He said. He shook his head. "I don't know WHY I even tried... I didn't have a chance with you in the first place." I gasped.

"Chris..." I placed my hand on his shoulder. "I didn't mean... I'm sorry. I'm SO sorry..." He shook off my hand from his shoulder.

"You don't have to apologize." He wiped a few silent tears from his eyes. "You're not the one who's supposed to apologize..." With that, he left me to feel even more guilty.

"Chris.."

I walked into Drama and Carmen came up to me.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi," I replied.

"What did you say to Chris?"

"I told him I didn't mean to say no but I dint mean to say yes then he got mad and left me there!" I said angrily.

Clarissa cleared her throat. "We have no time for gossiping. We have to rehearse the slow dance for the final scene tomorrow." We walked on the stage.

"So," she said. "How could you turn down Chris's request to Prom? Chris! You must be a very idiotic girl." Clarissa said to me. Then she nodded in Luke's direction. "Or a devoted one."

"Let's move on okay?" I said. I was passed off she would assume that's why I said no.

"OKAY," she said. "We're going to rehearse the slow dance, so I need Luke and Miranda up here." Carmen moved down to watch as Luke and I were up on the stage, facing each other. I looked at him nervously, then looked away. We were about five feet away from each other.

"You have to get CLOSER," Clarissa said, adjusting us so now we were only like five CENTIMETERS away. Damn you Clarissa.

"Now," she said. "When dancing to a slow song you have to get into the rhythm. Let the man," She gestured to Luke. "Lead your way and follow his steps. He already knows some of the steps of the dance so that should be to your advantage."

I let out a small laugh. More like DISadvantage.

"Ready?" She said. HELL no! She out on the music from her iPod. "Oh, and Miranda, put your hands on his neck." I did so nervously. "And Luke place your hands on her hips." Luke obeyed and I let out a surprised gasp. "Start dancing now. Remember, follow the man!"

We tried a couple of times and each time I failed.

"Sorry," I said one time. "I stepped one you."

"It's okay," Luke said with a smile.

We continued and I grimaced.

"What's wrong?" Luke asked. I gave a small laugh.

"I stepped on your foot again," I said.

"It's okay, I forgive you for stepping on my foot," Luke said, still smiling.

"Twice," I muttered and he laughed. Clarissa watched us and separated us. "Okay clearly no progress is being made. Why don't you two try again, but this time... ALONE?"

I looked at her as if she was crazy, but I was obligated to obey. I tried the steps by myself, and was getting the hang of it until I stepped on my shoelace and tripped. I fell forward and I landed on Luke.

"I'm sorry," I said, embarrassed as I felt my cheeks grow hot.

"Actually, this is okay," Luke's aid with a smile as he looked up at me. My cheeks grew even hotter.

"I'm just gonna... get up now..." I said. I struggled to get up, but Luke helped me up. Clarissa was not happy. She rolled her eyes and looked at me.

"Oh, Miranda," she said. "Did you mess up, AGAIN? Here," she stepped on the stage. "Let me show you how it's done," she pushed me out of the way and danced with Luke.

I watched them and saw her watching me with laughing eyes. I frowned at her as she showed off her "slow dance moves".

"And then," she said. "When the song reaches a certain verse, you're going to look into Luke's eyes," She demonstrated and looked in his eyes. "And you're going to kiss him, like this." I watched them hopelessly as Clarissa kissed Luke. I looked with disgust and closed my eyes. But when I opened them, I saw that. Luke had pushed Clarissa away from him.