Heartbroken

Chapter 17:

That night, I tossed and turned restlessly in my bed as I fought for sleep. But all I could do was think about my kiss with Luke, and how that beautiful moment had ended when I realized there was chance he was toying with me.

I checked my phone for the time. 2:31 am. I groaned. I had three and a half more house to sleep before I had to go to school. Soon I would have to face Luke and the fact that I had rejected him.

What will he do? I asked myself. This question lead to another; Does he really like me? Was he sincere? Was I sincere? I just dumped him because I was ignorant, and because I was caught up in the fact that he asked Clarissa before me.

Soon it came to the point where I couldn't sleep what with the questions and foolish answering. I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling, unaware of my surroundings, just my questions and of the possible answers to each question.

So what, he asked out Clarissa to Prom? Everyone makes mistakes, right? Maybe, he was under peer pressure, and one of his friends convinced him she was the right choice?

But if so, why would he agree? If he truly liked me, he would object, wouldn't he?

Well, maybe someone bet him a certain number of dollars that he couldn't ask her to Prom, so now that stupid bitch who made him do it owes him money?

But in reality, no one would ask Clarissa to Prom to be the richest man alive! At least, in my reality...

And now I have rejected him, and I know how it feels to be rejected, even if it was just barely... I feel terrible, I have to apologize at least. Oh God, I've just rejected TWO guys now... What have I done?

As I drew to a conclusion of the answer to one question, two more questions replaced that first one, and soon it was too much to handle. I sat up and checked my phone again. Now my phone read 3:07 am. I rolled my eyes. I had been awake over a half hour. I sighed and put my phone back on my side drawer. I lay back down, twiddling with my fingers until I drifted off to a soundless sleep.

It was Wednesday, and as I headed to Drama I sighed. I have to face him someday. I can't avoid him forever, I repeated in my head. But when I reached for the door handle, my arm stopped in mid air.

I can't do this! I thought to myself. My adrenaline sped up and my heart raced in my chest. How can I face Luke if he kissed me yesterday, on my Birthday, the SAME day I rejected his request to Prom?

I stepped away from the door. NO, I thought. I'm not going in. I'll just wait for Carmen. As I turned back, Carmen was already waiting for me to enter first.

Fuck, I thought. Fuck, Fuck, FUCK!

"Hey," I said annoyed.

"Woah," Carmen said, taking a step back. "You sound... ANGRY."

"Well," I said, rolling my eyes. "You know, it's hard for a girl to face the guy she kissed and rejected on the same day, especially on her birthday." I nodded towards the classroom. Inside, Luke was speaking to Clarissa.

"Oh," Carmen whispered. "I'll help make this better. Come on, let's go. Guys aren't EVERYTHING you know?" She grabbed my hand, and belfry I could protest, she opened the door and pulled my inside with her.

With my entrance, both Luke and Clarissa looked at me. Luke averted his eyes from me, and Clarissa glared at me with hard, cold eyes. Carmen saw the awkward arising and spoke to break it.

"Hey," she said loudly. "Why did it get so quiet all of a sudden!?" Luke turned back to Clarissa to distract himself but Clarissa walked up to me.