If Only I Had The Words {Zalfie/Joella}

•20•

The table was set for when Alfie was coming, it was going be a quiet dinner along with humour. I dressed in a tight fitted black dress with flats not bothering to wear heals.

I walked into the kitchen checking the chicken which was almost ready. Alfie should be here in about ten minutes and I was actually quite nervous.

Mine and Alfie's relationship was a constant roller coaster with ups and downs but somehow the roller coaster always seemed to go back into a straight line.

My phone rang from my purse, I picked it up seeing Louise on the caller ID. "Hello Louise, what's up?"

"Nothing but I heard you have a date with Alfie, he sounds really nervous." She said, squealing after. "Zalfie forever."

"I'm not going to lie Louise, I'm peeing myself. This is the first really romantically thing we've done."

"First?"

"Yes Louise, mine and Alfie's first romantically involved thing." I blushed.

"You mean you haven't slept with him?"

"Louise! You'd really think I'd jump into Alfie's pants, I'm not that sort of girl. I have to trust the guy to give him my v-card." I honestly said, I didn't just hop on a guy. I was waiting for someone special.

"So that's not Alfie?"

"No Louise."

"Jack?"

"Louise! I'm cutting off this phone now!" I exclaimed and hit the red button, sighing and putting my phone on the side. I laughed, placing a hand on my face, rubbing it.

The doorbell rang ten minutes later, making my heart leap out my chest. Was everything okay? I thought, of course it is. I skipped towards the door and opened to Alfie in a white t-shirt and grey jeans. "Hey," He smiled, pulling me into a hug.

"Hi." I said, leaning back from the hug. He placed his lips on mine, the mint flowing off his lips. "I made dinner."

"Smells great," He commented, before laughing a little. "We sound like a married couple." Which made me laugh with him. He intertwined our hands before walking into the kitchen together.

Alfie sat down on one of the chairs, me sitting opposite him. "Do you want champagne?" I asked, holding up the bottle.

"Alright," He said, holding out his glass. I poured him some wine, and he brung it to his lips taking a quick sip. I wasn't very much of a drinker, I know, I know the night with Jack I got massively drunk but that was just a one time thing. "You not drinking?"

"No, I don't drink." I said, I think he got the impression I was lying but he shook it off. "What did you do today?" I asked, walking into the kitchen to grab the chicken and cutting it up and placing it onto two plates.

"I, u-um went to my sisters house, for a little quality family time." He answered, the sound of his gulping his wine was heard. "What about you?"

"I cleaned the house,went to the shops to collect this chicken and came back and sorted everything out." I said, today has been some busy day. I walked back in with two plates with chicken, boiled potatos and mixed vegetables.

"Looks delicious, thank you Zoe." He said, taking the plate from my hands and placing it in front of him. "So, I want to talk to you about something."

"Of course, that's fine." I replied, cutting into my chicken.

"Right, first YouTube." He said, his hand placed over his mouth while he was eating. Such a gentlemen. "Do you still want to quit?"

"I'm still very unsure about the whole YouTube thing, I really want to continue but that confidence I once had before is gone." I said honestly, YouTube was defiantly my thing but if I want that confidence back it's going to take time.

"I know what you mean, after everything you've been through I still see that confident, smiling Zoe Sugg everyday." He smiled, my cheeks heated up at the thought- Alfie was the sweetest boy I've ever met.

"It's going to take time for me to come out that shell and make videos again, but maybe I should start of with daily vlogging?" I asked, unsure myself what I was saying.

"I think you should," He smiled, he coughed. "Excuse me one second, I need to use the toilet." He said, getting up and walking down the corridor.

His phone began buzzing, crap. Should I answer it? Maybe it's important? I grabbed his phone and clicked answer. "Hello, this is Zoe. Alfie can't-"

"Zoe?" A voice spoke. Poppy. Alfie's sister.

"Hello Poppy."

"What are you doing on Alfie's phone?" She asked, I furrowed my eyebrows. Maybe she didn't know about the little thing going on between us.

"Oh, we're having dinner." I confirmed, she exhaled from her mouth, offensive.

"Okay, could you tell him to ask Courtney if she can come this Friday for a meal with our family." She asked, my heart clenched at the thought.

Alfie was still seeing Courtney.

"U-um yeah sure." I answered, my eyes welling up with tears. I was so stupid. "I'll catch you later Poppy, I'll see you soon." I said and hung up the phone.

The toilet flushed from the distance, my eyes producing more tears. He came out the toilet whistling. "Hey Zoe, do you wanna watch a film?" He asked when he walked into the dining room.

"Woah, are you okay?" He asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged his hand off and turned around.

"You liar," I laughed, tears spilling out of my life. "How dare you, walk into my life and let me fall into your little trap!" I yelled, my fist slamming into his chest.

"Zoe, please tell me what's wrong." He mumbled, grabbing my fist into his hands. "It's okay, you can tell me."

"Keep your filthy hands off me!" I screamed, pushing him away. "Go to your precious Courtney."

His face dropped, his hands falling down his sides. "Zoe, where did yo-"

"Your sister told me, she just called up saying to ask Courtney to come round on Friday! The minute you walk out that door, I want you to never come back. You hear me?" I shouted, tears running down my cheeks.

"Zoe let me explain!"

"Go away!" I shouted, pushing his body towards the lift. "If you come back here, I'll be ready to call the police." I said sternly.

He stepped into the lift, his eyes soaking up with water. But I didn't care- I no longer cared.