If Only I Had The Words {Zalfie/Joella}

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ALFIES POV

After waking up from my sleepless sleep, I dressed into a pair of grey jeans and a white tshirt.

Me and Zoe had to discuss this as adults, not like a married couple who have three kids. I slung my backpack on my back and made my way outside.

Luckily I was getting a car soon which meant I wouldn't have to take the stinky taxi. I was lucky enough to get a nice old man, who spoke to me about his previous jobs.

When I arrive at Zoe's flats building, a uneasy feeling pangs at my chest. Heartbreak. It's been a while since I've felt heartbreak.

I dated Courtney for two months and when we broke up it wasn't a big deal and I haven't had that many girlfriends in the past.

I get into the elevator and wait. I couldn't wait to see Zoe's face, even though it's only been a night. Call me a weirdo, it's okay.

I knock on Zoe's door multiple times and wait, maybe I should have texted her to tell her I was coming.

I knock another time, hoping she would come to the door but I was wrong. Nobody comes. I sigh and run my fingers through my hair.

I shouldn't be left alone right now, so I go to Marcus. He's always up for a chat, he's most likely at his flat.

***

I knock at Marcus's door a couple of times before he pops up, his hair pushed back in a beanie. "Alfie! Hey man, what's up?"

"Sorry I had nowhere else to go to and I know you like a good talk." I said, I should have put a jumper on, its bloody freezing.

"Yeah sure, come in." He said, welcoming me inside. His house smelt like a mixture of lavender and strawberries, probably from his girlfriend, Niomi. "So, what did you want to talk about?" He said, pulling a chair out from his dining table and sitting on it.

"Zoe." I sighed, sitting on the chair opposite Marcus. "It's just... we always fight but I still want to go to her house to see her scream at me more... but this time, it just got worse. The argument was on Courtney."

"I thought Courtney was out the picture now?"

"Well, she was. Then my sister came over to visit me then bam, next thing you know Courtney is standing in my flat." I said honestly, Marcus gave me a funny look then went back to normal.

"First off, you need to stop hurting Zoe, she's been through so much these past few months. With the car accident, quitting youtube and haven't to deal with you." He said.

This is why Marcus was great at advice.

"I don't intend on hurting her because it hurts me as well. Sometimes my anger takes over me and I can't control it."

"Well, your going to come here every Thursday for anger lessons, it's time we got your shit together."

***

ZOES POV

I snuggled up with my mum on the couch, sipping our hot chocolates and watching Saturday night TV. I've been meaning to ask my mum about Youtube, since I am still very confused about quitting or not. "Mum?" I whispered, my head was tucked into her neck.

"Yes sweetie."

"I'm confused about another thing... a important thing." I said, how was this conversation going to continue. "I've been thinking about quitting youtube and I'm not too sure if I should."

"I thought you enjoyed YouTube? You can't just let it all go Zoe, look how far you've come!" She exclaimed, running her hands up and down my arms. "You've just hit six million subscribers!"

"What?"

"You hit six million Zoe, look I'll show you." She said, pulling her iPhone out her bag and opened the YouTube app before typing my name. My profile came up with my last favourites video I made three months ago.

I read the subscribers, my mum was right. I reached six million subscribers, how? I haven't posted for three months. "That's...that's... unbelievable. Why would they subscribe to me after three months?"

"Because they love you Zoe, they don't want you to give up, you should believe them."

"But it's the confidence Mum, it's not something I can easily overcome." I said, lifting my head out of my mum neck.

"Your getting better with your panic attacks right?"

"No mum, they're just as bad."

"Then listen to me Zoe, go back to Brighton, fix your life out, choose between Jack and Alfie and you'll life will be back on track."

A/N: thanks all of you for commenting on my story, it only makes me want to write more to make you happy!