Violets Are Blue

chapter 13: Violet

I was on my way to see my mother. I was holding the brochures I plan to show her. I could only hope that I could convince her to at least give it a try, and fix herself. But she must be willing, I had to wait to see if she has the will to fight. I took the bus and arrived by noon.
As I was walking toward her house, I passed by two familiar men. the white man wore a thick white shirt, with thick blue jeans and sports shoes, his pants were sagging, and the black man wore a black shirt, a thick brown coat, with a gold chain, thick faded jeans, and brown boots.
These men were the ones who interrupted my mother and I at the barbeque restaurant. I forgot their names. They turned around when they saw me. I tried my best to ignore them. I saw them from the corner of my eye. They were following me, getting closer with each step.
Once they were near me I felt them tug me into a nearby alley and forcing me to put my back against the wall. My heart never skipped a beat.
“Why if it isn’t the daughter of the hoe, Violet.” The black man said.
“Watch what you say about my mother!” I spat back. I wasn’t afraid of them at all. They were just wannabes anyway.
“Girl you betta’ watch what you say to us!” The white man yelled, “We got no problem hitting a lady.”
“I bet you don’t, you’re both little girls.”
The black man began to rub my face, “Why don’t we show you what lil’ girls can’t do?” the white man whispered in my ear.
I clenched my fist ready to hit the one who tries to touch me again.
“Don’t touch me.” I said with anger in my voice.
“Don’t pout baby-girl, You look just like yo momma, I hope it’s not the only thing you got from her.”
“Ronnie, Darnell, what the hell do you think y'all doing!?” a voice yelled. It was my mother, who appeared from the sidewalk.
“Nothing, Rose.” The white man said, as they both backed away from me.
“Now go on and get.” she yelled.
“Alright, damn,” The black man said, “I’ll just see yo ass next time then.”
The two men who I guess are Ronnie and Darnell left, muttering unsavory words, like the last time we met.
“You okay baby-girl?”
I nodded, “I’m fine, thanks for stepping in at the right time.”
I couldn’t believed what almost happened. I was harassed and sexually assaulted. I never thought something like this would happen to me. Who knows what could have happened to me if my mother didn’t show up. I held her hand on the way to her house. While it didn’t affect me as much now, it would probably affect me in the future.
I always saw commercials and articles about rape victims. While I know I wasn’t raped, I felt like I was about to be, even if their words we nothing but bluff, it still played over and over in my head. While I didn’t feel unprotected, I felt like the worst was going to happen to me. Was this the life of a prostitute? Unknown what was going to happen, and knowing that some of these men, they get paid by, will and can do everything and anything to them?
I focused back on my priority. My mother.
Once we arrived at her shelter house we sat on the porch. Luckily no one was with us on it, giving us more privacy.
“Listen, baby-girl,” my mother said, “About the other night. I’m sorry about what went down. I know I been having my troubles but I know it's something I can fix.”
I smiled once I heard that. It lets me know that she was willing to better herself.
“That’s why I’m here,” I gave her the brochures, “I’ve been going to this self-help clinic in downtown and they’re a really nice company who is willing to help you get better.”
I saw my mom read through the brochures. “I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t know if I’m ready.”
“Of course you’re ready mama,” I said, grasping her hands, “It’s time for you to get fixed up, to be better than yourself.”
My mother looked down. I could tell she was scared. I could see it in her eyes that she was unsure, but at the same time, I know how much of a great liar she can be so I had to go purely on my faith in her. And my faith has been shaken lately.
It took her awhile to answer. “Ok.” she said. It was quiet for a moment. I took it all in. She said yes.
“That’s great!” I exclaimed. My mom smiled and I hugged her, ignoring the smells.
“When do I start?” She asked.
“Today.”
Her smile faded but quickly sprung up again, “That’s great baby.”
She used that same monotone voice again. I wondered if that was just the effect of the drugs. The last time she used her monotone voice she said, okay, I wondered what else she said ok to. I hope the rehab clinic is able to fix that.   
We arrived at the clinic in the evening, and walked in, being greeted by the same, red haired, receptionist from my last visit.
“Welcome to harold and Co. self-help rehabilitation clinic,” The receptionist said, “Is there anything I can help you with today?”
I held my mother's hand, “Yes there is. My mom would like to check herself in.”
I know I was smiling unconsciously. For the first time I was proud of my mother. She is about to begin her first step in fighting her addiction, fighting for her life back. The lady led my mother and I to the main office where my mother filled out paperwork, stating that she is willing to help herself as well as complying with all of the workers at the clinic. My mother signed her name and that was it. I noticed that she’s been a bit quiet throughout the entire ordeal, but I didn’t let that discourage me.
The receptionist began telling my mother about the clinic, while she walked us around, showing us all of the rooms and activities that were taken place at the clinic.
“Here at the clinic we offer free food, free shelter, and free programs. You will wake up everyday at seven-thirty AM and be in bed by nine PM. During the day you will be taking programs that offer daily activities. Our recommended programs are the Addiction Anonymous groups, which puts you in a circle of addicts, and recovered addict alike, to talk about your addiction and how it has affected your life. Unfortunately no one who is not a resident at the clinic are not allowed into said programs, nor can they be there unless the program allows it.”
Once we reached the end of the tour, the receptionist turned toward my mother and said, “As a reminder, this is a voluntary clinic, you can leave and come back as you please when you think you are ready to.”
I looked at my mother, she slightly twitched. The word, Willing, popped back into my head. Even though she has consented to it, she can leave. I don’t know if she has the willpower to get through this battle, and may leave when she has had enough, and realizes she can’t take it. Again I had to remind myself that I have to put all of my faith in my mother and hope for the best.
My mother finally spoke. “So this place will help me get better?”
“In a general sense yes, but it takes yourself to truly fight the addiction. Remember each day is a battle after you stop, and you have to win the battle in order to win the war within yourself.”
I smiled that the receptionist had said that. It was as if they know the very soul of each addict they help. I admired their spirits in helping others.
“So now to the coaches.” The receptionist said.
“Coaches?” My mom said, “As in gym coaches?”
I slightly cracked a laugh. It was a bit funny she thought that.
“No, ma’am, coaches are recovered addicts who became life coaches here at the clinic to help recovering addicts. I’ll randomly assign you one today.”
“Actually ma’am,” I said. She looked at me. “I was hoping if she can get Liliana Sanchez.”
“Well, she doesn’t have any other people to coach at the moment so why not, and she’s here right now would you like to see her?”
I nodded. The lady led us to her. While we were walking, I was telling my mother about Lily
“Mom you will lover her, she has such amazing stories, and I think she is just perfect for you.”
“You’ve spoken to her before?” My mom asked.
“Yeah, I did. A couple of days ago.”
“Oh, ok baby-girl.”
Again with that monotone voice. I didn’t pay much mind to it this time.
We finally made made it to Lily. She was wearing a white sundress today and was sitting in her usual spot, drinking coffee.
“Lily!” I exclaimed.
”Violet!” She said back. She arose from my chair and hugged me.
She looked over my shoulder to see  my mother.
“This is Rose, my mother.” I said.
“It’s nice to meet you.” Lily said, while lifting her hand to shake my mother’s. My mother shook hers back, but didn’t say anything. They just stared at each other. It looked as if my mother was trying to hide something, and Lily was trying to figure it out. Maybe it was a sign of hope from one drug addict to another, and it lets my mother know that she isn’t the only one battling and she won’t be the last. I think Lily is just allowing her presence to linger over my mother to prove that she can win the battle.
“So what is this place like?” My mother asked.
I was happy my mother had finally said something without her monotone voice, and the question lets me know she was at least interested.
“It’s a haven for addicts who want to get cleaned,” Lily said, she had a smile on her face. She has confidence and trust in this place. “this is where people help us fight the battles to come when you stop using. With me as your coach, I’ll make sure you beat this. I promise.”
Lily  looked at me for a second when she said that. She was squeezing my mother's hand. It was her way of promising me too that she won’t fail and give up on my mother, like others in her life has.
My mother signed the check-in papers. Lily came by her holding a white band.
“Are you ready to give up your current life for the better?”
My mother stared at the band and said, “Yes.”
Lily smiled and slipped the white band on my mothers wrist. I smiled and felt a tear flowing down my cheek. Something in myself kept on telling me my mother wasn’t willing to do this, but it looks like my faith in my mother was right. I walked up to my mother and hugged her, and she hugged me back. I hugged her has hard as I could. I didn’t know if my mother was hugging me as hard, I couldn’t tell. It didn’t matter at the moment anyway.
I left telling my mother goodbye and hugging Lily for being my mother’s coach at the clinic.
I arrived home and smelled the food in the air. I walked into the kitchen to see Abigail making a second plate. It was a bigger plate than the first one so I deduced that the first plate was for me. I happily took it. While I somewhat ignored Abigail I didn’t say anything mean to her. I was in such a good mood I don’t think I’ll say anything to her tomorrow