Violets Are Blue

24: Abigail

I tried to chase after Violet but I couldn’t catch up to her. My back was starting to hurt with each step. As soon as she ran out the door I stopped. I didn’t know what to do. I didn't want to slap her but it just happened. All of my stress and anger just came out. I think Violet needed that slap. Maybe it will wake her up.
I decided to look through Marcus’ journal for any type of help. I found nothing. I was alone this time. I hopped in my car and went to the only place I know Violet would go. Her mother.
On the way I was starting to feel bad. I knew this wasn’t going to end well between me and Violet tonight, but I never expected this. I let my anger get the best of me.
Once in Rose’s neighborhood I circled around her house hoping to see Violet. After close to an hour I almost gave up. I circled around Rose’s block one last time. To my luck Violet  was walking out of the neighborhood. I could tell she was walking home.
I pulled up next to her and drove the car to her walking pace.
“Get in.” I said.
“No thank you.” she said back. The tone of her words words told me she just had a falling out with her mother.
“Violet,” I said.
It began to rain. It was already freezing outside as it is.
“Violet please, if you walk home you’re gonna catch a  cold.”
“please!” she yelled back,” Just leave me. Why the hell are you even still trying? I tried to choke you. I berated you. I’ve been so mean to you. How can you possible still help me?”
Violet was showing remorse from what I could see. She at least knew that what she was doing was wrong.
“Because I love you Violet.” l said, Violet stopped walking. I continued, “You may not know this but I love you like a daughter. I always have and I always will. I tried my best with you and even when you pushed me away I always came back to try again. So Violet please….. get in the car.”
After some thought she got in. I began to drive home.
“I want you to know that I have no regret slapping you,” I said. I could tell she wasn’t herself. She had a bruise on the left side of her face. I wondered if me hitting her depressed her. I hope not.
“I’m sorry about the bruise.” I said, hoping she would accept my apology.
“Don’t be. You didn’t do this.”
I turned my face towards her, “What do you mean? Who did this to you?”
Violet was quite, “My mother's pimp.” she finally said.
My grip tightened on the wheel. I know she didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t have to. It was something I would deal with after Violet. Why would a mother let their child be struck like that? And by someone like that? I couldn’t reply or say anything that would make her feel better?.
“Did you really mean what you said?” Violet asked. “That you loved me like a daughter?”
I forced a smile to cheer her up.
“Of course I did,” I said, “Your memory may have been fuzzy but I did many things for you. I made sure you never went to bed hungry, and made sure you had all the love you can. I tucked you into bed when you waited for your father to come home from work almost every night. What I loved the most is that even after losing your mother you still managed to smile. I know we were never on equal footing and I understand how me marrying your father impacted you. You were just a little girl who just saw her family fall apart. I know I’m not your mother and I haven’t tried to be one to you, but I always loved you.”
Violet smiled. I was glad that I was getting to her this time, and the fact that I was cheering her up.
My tone turned serious now, “Do you mind telling me what happened at your mother's?”
I needed to know what happened.
Violet took in a deep breath. “I went to go see her after you hit me, and she was-,” Violet froze for a minute, “She was strung out.”
I don’t see how Violet could look past something like that. All I could think was that she didn't deserve that. I let her continue.
“I tried to take her but her….this man came in and hit me across the face and pinned me against the wall. My mother hugged him to calm him down and in the process, she was hit too. I tried to tell her to come with me again but she said…..” Violet sighed and began to cry, “She basically told me that every belief I had about her was a lie, and that ultimately she chose to stay with the man who just struck me.”
I was tightly gripping the steering wheel by the time she was done. I never felt so much hatred for one person. Her own mother didn't even try to help Violet. I had to speak to her, and I had to see the man who hit her. Especially the man who hit her.
Once at home I had her sit down in the living room.
“Here take this.” I said, holding Marcus’ journal. I know this was against Marcus’ wishes but I had a feeling this will help her. She deserved to know the truth about everything. Maybe the light of the truth will finally set her free from the chains her parents created.
While Violet was reading the journal I drove back to Rose’s house. I had to speak to her, and her ‘man’. I grabbed the gun I used to help Violet the first time she was in trouble, hoping to use it to help her a second time. Violet’s mother wasn’t there to save her like a mother should, this time I’ll be protecting Rose from her.
Once there I walked right in. I saw Rose on the bed naked, the sheets were barely covering her up. To think this is what Violet may have seen. Rose finally saw me there.
“What the hell do you want, you white bitch?” Rose said with anger. I didn’t know if she was still strung out or if the altercation with Violet killed her high.
“I just wanted to tell you that not only have you lost all respect for yourself, your daughter has lost all respect for you too.”
Rose begin to laugh. She stood up clutching the sheets.
“That's my blood.” Rose said with confidence, “She gone always be my blood, my offspring, my daughter, Mine!” she said, slapping her chest, “She gone always come back to me. I give her love nobody else can because I am her mother. Nothing will change that!”
“You have some nerve,” I said, “To think that after all this you still think you love her?”
I raised my voice, “You were never her mother! I’m her mother now! You lost the privilege after tonight! You should have lost it a long time ago!”
All of a sudden a man came from the other room. He was a light skinned African American. He was wearing a black shirt, dark jeans, and brown boots. “who the hell is this bitch?” he said.
“Nobody.” Rose replied back.
He began to walk toward me, “If she nobody then she need to get the hell out of here, I got no problem hittin’ a pregnant bitch,”
Before he could grab me I pulled out my gun, I kept on my waist. He backed away and was angrier now. He raised his hands up. I saw Marcus’ watch. I moved in closer to the man and took it from him. I could tell he wanted to attack me but hesitated.
I pointed the watch towards Rose, “If you had any ounce of love for Violet you wouldn’t have stolen her things, let alone her father’s!”
Rose remained quite. She had nothing else to say, so I continued.
“I hope you’re happy. You’ve been manipulating your daughter her whole life, and this is how you continue to treat her? From what I can see you did all of this just to get your next high.”
I pulled a wad of cash from my pocket, “Here take it,” I said throwing it at her, “You may have gained your next high, but you lost your daughter.”
She quickly looked down but looked back up at me. Sh wanted to grab it but her pride wouldn’t allow her.
I turned toward the man, “You! How dare you hit a child! you’re a coward! You say you’re a man but you’re nothing but a bitch!”
This angered the man even more. He tried to attack me again. I shot in retaliation and hit him in his left leg.
He screamed in pain and fell to the floor. Rose rushed to aid him, grabbing towels from the floor and covered the wound. I couldn’t help but feel like a proud parent for Violet at the moment. I had no problem risking my health for her. I did feel a little dumb risking the baby though.
I bought food along the way home. Once in, I saw Violet still reading the journal.  
“I bought pizza.” I said.
“I’m not really hungry,” Violet said. She was focused on the book.
“How far are you?” I asked.
“Not far, I’m just at the part  where my mother tried to sell me.” she said with a smile. Her eyes look red and watery. She was so close to crying. I sat next to her and hugged her. I pulled out the watch from my pocket and handed to her.
“You went back?” Violet sad, “What did you do?”
“I just went to go talk to her.” I said.
“Thank you.” she replied.
“How you feeling?” I asked.
Violet sighed and put the book down, “I don't know how I should be feeling at the moment. I don’t know whether to feel sad, angry, shocked. I just don’t know. I thought my mother was this loving soul troubled by years of drugs, then I learn she’s been using way before her marriage ended. She still is a troubled soul, but she was never loving, if anything she took care of me to keep Marcus in her life, trying to get him back, get back to his money.”
Violet remained quiet before saying, “Do you think she ever loved me?”
“Of course she did,” I replied, “A mother always loves their children, it’s natural. Your mother’s mind is just clouded and twisted. She still does love you, even if she doesn’t know it.”
No matter what a mother’s love is always there.
Violet’s stomach started to growl.
“Come to the table and eat.” I said. She did. This was the first time we actually sat at the table together, albeit old cold food on it. I was so used to bringing her food that I forgot how nice it is to have company while I eat. Marcus was always gone, and we only ate together on special occasions.
After dinner I went to my room. Violet stayed down stairs to finish reading the journal. I sat on my bed and looked at Marcus’ picture I kept on the bed now.
I hugged it. I layed down and kept it between my arms. For the first time I’m going to sleep happy since Marcus died. Violet and I made a real connection today, and that’s all that mattered.
Tonight I dreamed. It was the first dream I had that wasn’t a nightmare. This dream was more of a memory than a dream. It was how Marcus and I first met. I remembered it so well.

Dream/Memory:

“Trust me you’re going to like him.” Thomas said.
“Is that so?” I replied, “I know you, if your friends are anything like you I don’t want to meet them. Dealing with you is painful enough.”
Thomas laughed. I’ve been telling him about my recent failures with men and he told me about his friend being a recent divorcee. I was reluctant at first but gave in. I guess I wanted to see if I can at least cheer the guy up.
He led me to a little coffee shop a couple of blocks away from his job. I was reluctant to go inside. After nearly a minute of Tom trying to persuade me, I gave in. I was a little nervous to meet him. I was wearing a nice thick black dress, with a white blazer from my work. I didn’t feel pretty enough for him.
I opened the coffee shop door and out came a young mexican lady. She was wearing an old black sundress, with dirty slip on shoes. She was wearing a little quilt to keep warm. She looked so tired and worn out. I wondered what her story was. She was soon followed by another woman who looked similar to her but much older.
“Are you ready?” The older woman asked.
The young woman thought for a moment before saying, “Yes.”
The two ladies walked away, hugging each other.
At first I didn’t want to walk in the coffee shop. I felt like I was just going to meet another man who won’t be husband material, but after that I wanted to think I was ready. Ready to try something new, ready to face the future ahead of me with open arms, and I had a feeling this man was going to be the one to change my life.
I walked in and Thomas followed. He pointed towards a man who was sitting down at one of the tables in the far left corner. His face was turned away from me.  He was African American. He was wearing a black suit from where I was standing.
I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned toward me. The first thing I fell for was his eyes. They were so distant and dark, as if he’s been through something very hard. When I looked farther it was something quite the opposite. I could tell he was a caring individual, different from the other men.
“Hello.” I said with a smile.
“Hello.” he replied.

The memory fast forwarded after that dream sequence was over. This dream was only a few months after Marcus and I began to date. We were so much in love by then. I remembered the day a little less than the first time I met Marcus. I forgot what I came to his home for. All I know was that I was nervous. He already told me about his daughter but I never met her. I checked out myself in the visor before I got out of the car. I was wearing casual jeans and black shirt, with a black leather jacket. I guess I looked ok to see her.
I rung the doorbell and Marcus answered. He was pretty casual as well wearing a white shirt, blue jeans, with black boots.
“Edgy.” he said, when he saw my outfit.
“Ugly.” I replied with a smile. We both laughed and kissed. He led me to the dining room. I’ve been to his house before when his daughter was at school.  I just remembered why I came. Marcus had to go to the office on his day off to grab a few documents for an upcoming court battle. He was already gone.
I sat down and in came a little girl. She was wearing a white shirt, with violet colored overalls.
“Hello,” I said, “I’m Abigail what’s your name?”
The little girl stared at me before she smiled, “My name is Violet,” she said.
“What a pretty name, like the poem.”
“Poem?” Violet said back.
“Yes sweety, Rose are red, Violets are blue.”
“That’s not a very good poem.” she replied.
“Oh really?” I said with a smile, “What if I say: Roses are red, Violets are blue, You’re named after this poem, and it must be your favorite color too.”
Violet laughed, and I laughed too. I thought this was the beginning of a great friendship. I was wrong but at the same time right.