Twins || Hwang Hyunjin

[01]

I couldn't believe it. Not even when I saw her dead body lying in the bed. Just a minute ago she'd been looking at me, telling me to find my father, then the machine started beeping and suddenly she was gone. She wasn't gone though, because she was right in front of me. Although that was just what used to be her. But it was not even a minute ago her body actually was her.

Death didn't make sense at all, but I was still in shock so the sadness hadn't reached me yet. All I could do was think, and not a single tear was forming in my eyes. Not until I saw my mom die, I realized how strange life was. One second could pass and during that second a person could just die and disappear into nothingness.

Doctors rushed in and I was pushed to the side. In the white mess, I saw how they were stressing a lot, but I knew it was over already, yet I still didn't cry. I stood there staring as they lost hope and gave up. She was dead and nobody could do anything to bring her back.

The sad beginning of my new life had started, and when I went home that day, none of my senses were there with me. I was staring blankly on the road, not thinking about anything, not feeling anything, not caring about anything.

I had no idea what to do, so I just laid down on the sofa. I still hadn't cried since she died, but I wasn't feeling any tears either. Crying was just stupid because that meant I was feeling pity for myself, which I shouldn't. If anything it should be my mother who cried, but she was gone so she couldn't cry even if she should.

I heard someone was knockin on the door, so I forced myself out of the sofa, and went to open the door. I don't know who I thought was going to be standing in the door opening, but the person I saw when I opened up made my jaw drop.

"Father" I stuttered when I saw the man, whom I'd only seen on pictures, in front of me. He hadn't changed much, but his hair was all gray and he had gotten wrinkles. He looked like the same person as in the pictures that were holding me as a baby, the man who left 17 years ago and didn't return. I thought I would never see him, yet I'd been imagining what I would do if I ever did meet him. I was going to be mad at him and yell at him for leaving us, although now when he was here I didn't do anything of what I'd imagined. I just stood there staring at the man who seemed like a stranger to me, even if I knew he wasn't. But was he really no stranger though? I had no memories of meeting him since he left a year after I was born. I couldn't be mad and scream at him, because I didn't know this man, I only knew I didn't like him.

"I heard about your mother," he said in a sad tone, but I didn't get why. He couldn't have cared about her if he just left her for no reason. Neither could he be caring about me since he left me as well.

"So?" I asked him with a blank expression like his present didn't affect me in any way, because it didn't.

"I'm sorry," he said, looking down at his feet. He couldn't even look me in the eyes. A coward really.

"If you came here to say that, then you're free to leave," I said because it was obvious he didn't want to be here right now. Besides, I'd rather be alone right now anyway. I needed some time to myself to process everything.

"I was going to offer a room in my house for you, but I'm guessing you don't want to live with me," he said, and he was absolutely right. although I hadn't really thought about that. Where was I going to live? I still went to high school, so I didn't have time to work enough to pay for the whole house. Even if I got a part-time job that wouldn't be enough. At least I was sure I wasn't going to live with my father.

"You're right," I said. "I'll never live with you" I added just to make things clear for him.

"I figured that out already before I got here, so I fixed another place for you to live at," He said, but looking at his face he seemed a bit disappointed.