Broken

Chapter 3

I came home after an hour with Eva lazing around the shops and drinking coffee.

I ran up the staircase, which was not a regular occurrence. I mean the running, I dragged myself up the same staircase everyday. I don't remember the last time the lifts were working.

I was on a high after my coffee, excited.

The auditions were only months away, even the possibility of getting into dance school made me feel ecstatic.

Something told me we could do it.

I rummaged around in my bag and pulled out my house keys and slotted it into the door.

I held my dance application sheet in my hand.

To my surprise it was already open.

I swung open the door, it creaked noisily.

"Mom?" I called.

"Macy?"

She was sitting down at the kitchen table smiling at me. She was tapped her nails nosily against the table. She looked anxious, nervous.

"I didn't think you'd be back so early. How was counselling?" I asked and threw my bag down on the sofa.

"That is if you actually went" I said dryly. I had the tendency to be sarcastic a lot of the time.

"Of course I did! I know I came home early, so we could talk about things"

I collapsed on top of the sofa, slipped off my dance shoes and massaged my feet.

"Me and Eva, had an amazing practice.  Our dance audition is just around the corner, there's going to be -"

"Macy"

Her hands were clasped tightly around her glass.

"I really need to talk to you about something" she said firmly.

Oh no. I thought.

I got up off the sofa and sat into the chair opposite her.

"What's happened" I said it causally but a million thoughts were flying through my mind.

I felt sick.

She took a big breath and sighed heavily, running her hands through her hair.

"I don't know how to tell you this" she murmured.

"Just say it" I said hurriedly.

"It's been a while, ages really. I should of told you" she muttered under her breath.

"Mom what's going on" I said through gritted teeth.

She looked at me with deep meaningful eyes and finally decided to tell me.

" Macy I.. I've met a guy" she blurted out.

My jaw dropped. This was not what I expected.

"Well really I met him months ago, his name is Brian. He's a lovely guy, you'll like him you really will "

I nodded vigorously taking in what she said. Was I happy for her? I couldn't decide.

"So your dating are you? Do you want me to meet him or something?" I said plainly.

I didn't know how I felt about anything.

"That's the thing" she sighed.

"It's been over six months"

I was taken back. Six months of lies and secrets. I suddenly realised what had been happening. All of those lunch dates and late nights out with friends, dressed up in her best.

She wasn't going out with her friends, it had been this guy, Brian.

"Why didn't you tell me" I demanded.

I couldn't believe she wouldn't tell me something important, she always told me everything.

Now that I think about, there's a lot of things I never knew about her, the secrets she kept from me.

"I wanted to, when the time was right." she said earnestly.

" And me and Brian think the time is right now"

What was she trying to say? My stomach churned.

"I know this is out of nowhere and a lot to take in, but Brian wants us to spend the last two weeks of holidays with him. To see how things go. We want to see if we can make things work.. before we make anything permanent."

She explained, she was smiling encouragingly at me.

This was too much.

I was waiting for her to tell me that this was all a joke but she sat there staring hopefully at me. I sat back taking in what she had just said, it sounded as if she wanted something permanent. I suddenly felt nervous.

"He has a son" she added lightly.

I looked up at her in shock.

"He's about your age maybe a year older his name is Sam"

My throat felt dry and I could feel tears pricking at the sides of my eyes.

I didn't want to meet Sam or Brian, I didn't want the possibility of a family I already had one. After all for the last sixteen years mom had always said it was just two of us in our little family.
I masked my feelings as best I could, pretend that I didn't care.

I nodded curtly and rose out of my seat and turned away towards my room before she could see the tears streaming down my face.

I heard her calling after me but I ignored it.

At the time, all I could thing about was how much my life could change.

I didn't want to meet Brian

Or his son.

I didn't want to leave my apartment or my cramped little bedroom.

I wanted to stay here with my mom, the same way that it always had been.

I flung my dance application form on my desk, I couldn't even look at it.

I flopped onto my bed and pulled my pillow around my head, allowing myself to cry properly.

For the first time, in what felt like forever.