Mila's Reckoning

Chapter 26

Mila

I heard someone say once that the best way to get rid of pent-up anger is to talk it out. For most girls, this definitely seemed to be their type of release. But for me, that never worked.
For a short time, the court pressed Papa to submit me to children's counseling following the death of my parents. After 3 silent sessions, he did what he knew he should have done in the first place and told them to bug off.
It wasn't until I was old enough to hunt that I learned what my true release of anger was. Holding a firearm in your hands has the ability to make someone feel unstoppable. There were few things in the world that could take you on when you're holding one, and that was a feeling I needed.
I learned at the age of 10 that the sound of a bullet firing cleared my mind in ways that nothing else could. I tried sleeping through the tears, but I would just see images of my parents accident.
This tragedy was no different. Gino suggested counseling, which I immediately shot down. I tried sleeping and keeping to myself, but my thoughts kept piling up with images of the black-masked man. I could tell that Gino's grandfather was wanting him to push me for more information, but I just couldn't think of any. No matter how many times I put myself in the situation, it all came out the same: grabbed my neck, threw me into the lamp, then boom; black.
But as I stood here, arms stretched out in front of my body, earmuffs on my head, and a Smith & Wesson 9 millimeter M&P popping in my hands, it was as if everything had opened up.
I fired off a round, and with each shot, there was a man's voice in my head repeating, "Gino," then again, "Gino." My heart was racing at the sound of the man's voice; familiar, yet strange. I had never heard the voice before, so why could I hear it so clearly in my head?
I loaded the gun again, and fired another round. This time, I heard the man say, "Tell Gino," except this time, he was screaming it.
I have never been a spiritual person, but I couldn't help but wonder if this was the voice of God. Papa and I used to attend church and I remember listening to the pastor tell a story about the first time that he heard God speak directly to him. He had described it as a voice speaking in his head, telling him that all he had to do was trust in Him.
Was that what this was? Was God himself trying to help me to lead Gino to the guy who did this? It had been more than a week since the incident, and still there was nothing that had been uncovered. The surveillance tapes showed nothing, no one checked in at the valet, and there was no sign of a forced entry. Was this God's way of stepping in?
I shook off the thought, and loaded the last round. And as I pulled the trigger repeatedly, I quickly realized that those words weren't coming from God; they were coming from the man who attacked me. As the last shot sounded, I could hear the words as clear as a bell in my head: Tell Gino that coming home means death for his bitch.
My hands were shaking, and I felt one hand lose its grip; but I couldn't focus on what was happening around me. My body was doing one thing while my mind just kept repeating the words: death for his bitch.
My stomach was rumbling, and my hands began to clam up. I bent over, trying to catch my breath, but I fell to the ground and began to heave. Within seconds, the grass was covered in the remains of my breakfast.
I panicked as I saw two bodies rushing toward me, but settled down when I realized that it was just Lenny and Matty. Gino hadn't let them leave my side since Friday night. Matty walked carefully to avoid the puke, but I saw Lenny grab his phone as soon as he saw that I was okay.
"You think the heat got to ya, Mila," Matty asked, picking me up off of the ground. "Come on, I'll carry you back to the car and get you a water," he said, taking me toward Gino's car.

***
Gino

"Lenny, what the hell happened? You guys were supposed to be watching her," I shouted as I walked through the door.
Lenny's face went blank and didn't respond, so I turned my attention to Matty. "Well," I probed.
"Look, she was just firing her gun and then outta nowhere she got sick and collapsed. She didn't pass out or anything, I think the heat just got to her," Matty said, pacing back and forth as he spoke.
"Gino," I heard Mila say, which startled me. I had assumed that she was in the bedroom, but she was sitting right behind me on the couch. "Now's not the time, we need to talk," she said, standing up and walking into the bedroom.
Crap, she sounded pissed. I knew I shouldn't be leaving her alone as much as I had, but I didn't see any other way. I was spending a ton of time with Paap trying to hash out the details of the night and look for the guy who was responsible for this.
I looked at Lenny and realized that he hadn't made eye contact with me since I walked through the door. I squeezed his shoulder as I passed by because I knew this wasn't his fault. It was mine.
I shut the door as I walked in, and stood in front of Mila who was perched on the bed. Did I have something on my face? Mila wasn't making eye contact with me, either.
"It wasn't the heat," she said, her hands shaking. I bent down to get on her level, and grabbed her hands.
"Okay, what was it," I asked, trying to get her to look at me.
"I remembered something," she started, "from that night. Something he said."
It was then that I put the pieces together. Elena said that this could happen, that as time passed by she may remember more details of the night. I had hoped that for Mila's sake, she wouldn't ever remember any of it, yet here we are. My heart was racing, and I was hoping that whatever she remembered would help us narrow down some possibilities of suspects.
"What did he say," I asked, placing my hand on her shoulder.
"He said, 'Tell Gino that coming home means death for his bitch," she mumbled, almost unable to get the words out.
I stared at her for a moment, almost in disbelief. Not only had someone beaten and raped my girl, but they weren't done with her.
"Gino," Mila said, snapping me out of my thoughts, "I'm the 'bitch,' aren't I," she asked.
I paused, not wanting to respond. But I knew that after all of this, I couldn't lie to Mila, no matter how badly I wanted to sugar coat things for her.
"Yes," I said softly. Her face sunk as I confirmed what she already knew to be true; that the man intended to come back and finish what he had started.
She didn't have to say a word, I could tell that she wanted to be alone. I left her on the bed, and headed out to the dining room with the boys. My hands were shaking with rage. You would think that with all the power that my family held that I would never have to fear for my girl's life. The door slammed behind me unintentionally, and startled the guys.
Lenny bolted toward me. "Gino, I'm sorry, I, I should have been paying better attention," he explained.
My head dropped, as I recognized this all too familiar scene. So many men feared my grandfather, and if you let him down, you would feel his wrath. Lenny was coming to me, ashamed that he had disappointed me, and anxious to hear how I would punish him.
"Not your fault, cousin, not your fault," I said, reassuring him that he had no control over what had happened. "The situation stemmed from her attack the other night, she remembered something. Call Paap and tell him that the attacker didn't want me to come home - for obvious reasons," I said, alluding to the fact that I was trying to get our family out of the business.
In this moment, there was no denying any of it. Up until this point, I could claim that this was some sort of retaliation for something that Paap or my father had done. But now, we all knew the truth. I brought this on myself by trying to get out of the family. Mila had been attacked because of my desires, and nothing else.