Sincerely Yours (Namjin) ✔️

Chapter Four

Namjoon moved his fingers through his dark hair for about the hundredth time. In all his attempts to make sure it's tidy and presentable, he began to feel like he might just be making it all worse. His cowlick simply refused to sit down despite the amount of hair products he attempted to weigh it down with it.

He supposed it shouldn't really matter. After all, this wasn't a date. At least, he didn't think it's a date. Was it...a date?

It was hard for him to guess when he had never actually been on one before.

No one seemed to understand how oddly isolating it was to be the designated smart kid. At first, it felt like a compliment, but after awhile those words started to become a concrete wall: a reason not to be associated with, be a friend, give an invitation to the party everyone else is going to, an excuse not to put in effort on the group projects. Somehow, it became about the worst thing in the world because this label he never had chosen became his whole identity. No one ever wanted to take the time to find out anything else.

Namjoon glanced at his phone out of habit. Jin had been texting him some, which has made his heart leap every time he saw the notification. However, his heart managed to also sink when he didn't see another text.

He hadn't heard from Yoongi in days. His best friend's words had swirled around his head, causing nausea to roll in his stomach. They stung, knives that pierced his gut. Still, he knew Yoongi was right. In all his wallowing, he had pushed away the one person he cared most about so far away and he hadn't even realized until it was too late.

Normally in their fights, Yoongi would reach out when he wasn't mad anymore and they would just carry on as always. However, he knew this time he needed to be the one to say something, but the right words didn't seem to exist.

He had really fucked up.

It was probably time to stop fussing since he was supposed to meet Jin in fifteen minutes. So he slid on a jacket and headed downstairs. His mother was in her office as she often was the few times she was actually at home. She took about two days off of work, not counting phone calls, to make sure he wasn't going to off himself again before it was back to business as usual.

Namjoon poked his head in her door. His mother was frantically pounding on the keyboard. She always did that. Everything was always so urgent, the end of the world. Everyday she almost broke her keyboard. There was never a good time or a light moment to interrupt her. There was always a call that she absolutely had to take care of or an email that desperately needed finished or a deadline she was struggling to make.

"I'm gong out," he said.

She didn't even have the curtsey to glance up. "Alright," she responded.

He walked out to his car and started up the engine. Her dismissal couldn't even put a damper on his mood. Today, he had a definitively not-a-date with Jin. Nothing could get better than that.

• • •

Jin had gotten to the cafe absurdly early. He told himself he would only arrive five minutes early, but then the fears of traffic, not getting a table, and Namjoon showing up early resulted in him deciding it was a good idea to instead come twenty minutes before their meeting time.

He didn't know what else to do, so he kept checking his phone.

Jiminie

Is he there yet?

Jin

I wouldn't be talking to you if he was