✔ Your Bias is my Ex!

Chapter 35 - Reflection

"What is it?" I asked rosé as we stepped out of jisoo's room to give her and jinyoung privacy.

"How do I say it? Hmmm..." rosé bit her nails, it's her habit when she's anxious or scared. We sat down at a bench located outside of the rooms

"Why don't you narrate it like a reporter?" Lisa suggested. Her phone vibrated but she just ignored it

"Ok, uhmmm. Listen carefully ok?" She held my hands and looked from left to right to make sure no one's listening.

"Wait.. can I have a spoiler?" Lisa's brows rose

"I mean, after telling me this, what would be my reaction?" Lisa's mouth formed an O

"You'll definitely freak out and be gone in a blink of an eye." What could possibly make me react like that?

"Let me just tie my shoelaces incase you're correct." I nervously bent down and made sure I'm ready to run

"This is no zombie apocalypse right?" Lisa joked

"Instead of a reporter, I think being a rapper would be more appropriate and to cut it short..." she inhaled alot of air. Lisa and I are on the edge of our seats.

"B.I punched suga and a brawl broke out between the two groups and it most likely be because of you." Seh said in one go at a fast pace without stopping.

"What?!" And she was right, I sprinted out of the hospital without even saying goodbye to jisoo.

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I barged in our house when I got a call from mom that my brother was there and looking for me. There he was, playing with my kids.

"Eomma, why are you panting? Did you run?" Sky and woozi looked up to me

"Uhm, babies? Can you go to your room and play? I just need to talk with uncle." They nodded and held each others hand, going up to their room.

I stood up and nervously chewed on my lips. I slowly inched closer to where my brother is sitting. He's not saying anything.

"I scare you that much?" He looked hurt. I flinched when he moved on his seat. I'm a nervous wreck!

"Come here." He sighed and opened one arm. Motioning me to sit beside him.

"Why did you punch him?" I mumbled as I sat down. There's a large space on the sofa but my butt only seated atvthe edge.

"What?" He put his ear closer. I pouted. He chuckled. He's teasing me!!

"You still love him that much?" He stared into my eyes and I just stared back.

"I... I don't know." I looked down my hands that are resting on my lap.

"Do you want to know why I punched him?" My brows furrowed.

"Isn't it because I almost had a miscarriage? Is there anything else you should be angry about?" He avoided my gaze and looked forward

"I know the reason." He silently answered

"What reason? And how did you know it's yoongi anyway?" He sighed and stood up

"The reason why he did, what he did to you." I stood up and made him face me

"What do you mean? I don't understand." My heart pounded.

"As much as I want to tell you, I won't take that chance away from him. He'll come to you when he's ready." My breathing hitched

"And when that time comes, you should also be prepared. Will he finally close your relationship, or reopen it? Will you be the one to close it, or will allow him to come inyour life again?" He grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me for a hug

"I'm an idol too. But you're not. I want you stop thinking how your decision would affect him,bhis members, and his career. For once, go with what you really feel, what you really want." He gave me a tight hug and bid goodbye.

I sat on the sofa in a daze. I stared blankly at the wall and let my brother's advice sink in but it doesn't make sense to me!! What is he talking about?!

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I went straight to my room as soon as we got home. I laid down and closed my eyes shut.

Where do I begin? I raked my hair in frustration. What would've happened if I...

"Uuuuurghh! Stupid stupid stupid!" I hit myself in the head several times and punched the bed.

I remember that day when I deleted her number but had it memorized. I refused to reply to her messages or answer her calls.

I let myself busy by working hard to debut. I put my frustration and longing on the music I created. I did that for months and was doing well until she showed up.

I stood up from bed and walked towards the mirror beside it. Icovered my face with my palms as memories of that day flooded.

I was frozen when she barged in unannounced. She trespassed our building. It took every strength for me to push her when I just want to forget what I saw and hug her tight but ny pride got the best of me.

How could I forget her face when I told her things I shouldn't have. It haunted me for nights that I couldn't bear so I tried calling her but she was out of reach.

I went home, only to find out we have new neighbors without knowing where our previous ones moved or the reason. Who am I kidding? I know I'm one of the reasons. I hurt her. But she hurt me first. I just let it go thinking it'll just pass and she'll barge in on me again but that never came.

I was busy but I kept on searching for her and tried to trace where their family would go but it's like they didn't exist. And again, I let it go. I told myself I just need to debut and we can meet on stage again.

I know being idols would make our relationship harder than it already is, but I was willing to work it out and restart it with her so when her supposed members debuted without her, I realized that I already lost her.

With that, I debuted but I remained stoic. I would laugh if I find it funny but not much. I seem to have lost humor too. Above the stage, blinding lights and loud cheers seemed dull and gray.

I worked with my members because we became a family. I worked as what I'm supposed to, but not what I used to. I used to dream of what I have achieved now and to love what I do but when I lost her, I felt empty despite the success.

"I pray for your success." That phrase rung to my ears. Her last words for me. I punched the mirror with clenched fists, I unclenched it to look at the ring she threw that day which I gave.

I kept it. In the hopes that it would be returned to the rightful owner.

I was happy when I saw her, I was ready to forgive and forget. Only to see her with him again that brought up a memory I buried. Only to just find out that it was just a fucking misunderstanding.

"You're a genius?" Tears fell on my eyes as I looked at my cracked reflection.

"You did this to yourself." That's right. This is all on me. I did this and I blamed her. I did this and I hurt her. I did this and she already told me before.

I screamed in agony as I felt the weight of what I did. My heart felt like it's pricked by millions of thorns! The pain was unbearable, but the thought that she held greater pain than this made me go insane. No wonder they said I almost killed her. Maybe this is what they meant.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I wailed as I clutched my heart. It was getting harder to breathe. I let myself wallow in exhaustion.