SEVEN MINUTES || L. NORRIS

TWENTY SIX

I forgot to love you, love you, love you

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ISABELLE

I don't know why I thought taking a walk this evening was a good idea. After bumping into Lando just over a week ago, my mind remained stuck in overdrive. Naturally, my feelings for him never disappeared whilst we were apart and seeing him again and sharing another kiss, made me realise how much I did need him. However, the timing was unfortunate as he was scheduled to fly out to Canada for the Grand Prix shortly after we reconnected at my apartment. As always, my anxiety was at its peak although this time, unlike the past few races when we weren't together, Lando's messages were as constant as they could be. I didn't feel as dependent on him, because I had become so used to being alone, yet, I still liked the reassurance he provided. It wasn't too much, but it was enough to make me realise that maybe he was serious about trying things again and wanting them to work.

Race weekend flew over and I showed my support by following the usual routine of sitting in front of the television in my apartment, refusing to move for two hours whilst I watched him drive, praying for a good result. I was just so excited to speak to him after the race, a feeling I had missed dearly whilst we'd not been in contact. My anxiety without Lando only became worse. Panic attacks became part of my daily life, some more crippling than others, but I managed to get myself through them as I was generally always in the comfort of my own apartment whenever one struck. I refused to go back on the medicine recommended and provided by the doctors, the one I'd been taking for so many years now. Lando was my only escape and I became so used to living without him, that I felt the most alone and empty in the world.

Here I was right now, in the middle of Surrey at nine in the evening. I left my apartment at eight and I simply continued walking, yet I soon realised I was just walking around in circles, appearing at the same place no matter which route I decided to take. I missed Lando. I missed the sweet taste of his lips and the mint on his breath as he kissed me, my body pinned beneath his on the sofa. I missed the way he took my hair down from the ponytail I'd tied it in and ran his fingers through my hair. I was desperate to see him again, although I knew he had only just returned from Canada and was exhausted, so he probably wasn't keen on the idea of having company.

Halfway through my walk, I had to take a seat as I felt the crippling feeling begin to take over my body. With no water and only my phone, I knew that it was impossible to help myself. My feet began feeling a little numb, along with my fingertips. My lip was trembling, my breathing becoming heavier as my chest grew tighter. Of course, another panic attack. I always found it difficult to stand, the numb feeling in my feet becoming unbearable and the dizziness making it impossible for me to stand straight. I clutched at my head, whimpering as I felt myself spinning, feeling like I could pass out at any second. Tears spilled from my eyes, rolling past my nose and down my neck.

I wanted Lando. I wanted to feel his arms wrap around me and drag me into his warm body, giving me a reassuring squeeze in the process. I wanted him to whisper in my ear, telling me to calm down because it was all going to be alright and that he was there, right by my side. I couldn't help but pull my almost dead phone from my pocket, to find his contact and call the number. With my hand shaking uncontrollably now, I did my best to hold the device against my ear without dropping it. I bit on my lip as I listened to it ring. I began to lose hope as the call rung out, my chest almost caving in as I struggled to catch my breath.

"Hello? Isabelle?" His tired voice filled my ears and I exhaled, my teeth chattering into the speaker as I began to feel a lot colder as I remained in my seated position. "What's going on? Are you okay?"