SEVEN MINUTES || L. NORRIS

EPILOGUE

LANDO

I clung onto Mum's hand as I sat in the front row, not removing my eyes off of Isabelle's coffin. Today was the day we said our final goodbyes.

Ever since her death ten days ago, I'd not felt like the Lando I knew. I felt empty, nothing seemed worthwhile anymore, because i was full of nothing but devastation. My parents stayed with me at my apartment whilst I adjusted to life without Isabelle. Even though we'd spent two months apart not so long ago, I knew she was okay; she was alive, she was okay. Now, I had one last chance to tell her how much I loved her, hoping that even though she was no longer breathing, she would be listening to every word I said.

Many of her friends, and mine, came along to the funeral. Max, Daniel and Charles came together, Carlos coming along with a few of the guys from McLaren. Seb also decided to pay his respects with Lewis and Fernando, too. I was so overwhelmed by my friends coming to say their goodbyes with myself and my family, along with Isabelle's family and friends. They all greeted me with the same solemn smile and a hug, telling me that they were sorry for my loss, but Charles came to me with tears in his eyes, holding me a little longer and thanking me for loving her like I did. He had suffered from so much loss over the past years and I felt so heartbroken for him. He felt almost the same as I did.

I cleared my throat as I stepped onto the small podium, glancing at everybody who was here to say their goodbyes with us. Their eyes were all on me and I was terrified. I knew that this had to be perfect, for myself, but mostly for Issy. I swallowed hard as I unfolded the piece of A4 paper which sat in my pocket until the service. I flattened it on the small podium, my eyes falling at the beginning of my long passage, written in my scrawly handwriting.

"My darling Isabelle,

We are gathered here today to say our final goodbyes, years and years before this should have happened. We were so excited to spend the rest of our lives together, until yours was cruelly taken away by somebody who you'd never met before. I've always been quite naive, always believing that you were immortal and I would never lose you; I thought that from the very first day we met. I knew that you were the one for me as soon as you introduced yourself with a little giggle leaving your lips. I loved how shy you were, you made me smile so much because I knew that we were made for each other in that moment. That very moment sparked something I wanted for the rest of my life.

You were so involved in my karting and finishing each lap to see you smiling at the line made me smile like a teenager in love. I was, of course I was, because I was so in love with you. And as much as I loved karting, I was so excited and so desperate to go home and cuddle you until you fell asleep against my chest. You sacrificed so much for me. Your school work never came first, it was always me and my karting. I could never thank you enough for that, because I could never find the words to say it. After karting, when you were fast asleep in my arms, I would look at you and think, 'she is the girl of my dreams'. I was so right. Even when we were arguing, I was still so right."

I moved my lips away from the microphone as I allowed a few sobs to escape from my dry lips, tears pricking in my eyes and an uncomfortable lump growing in the bottom of throat.

"Even when I went away for work, you were always on my mind. As much as you hated saying goodbye, thinking that the car was the only thing I cared about, it never was, and Carlos would back me up on that one. I would always be thinking about you, there wouldn't be a second which went by when I wasn't. I was so scared to leave you alone but every time, you got through the anxiety and the pain and I was so proud of you for doing that. It was always going to be so difficult and we both knew that we would spend lots of time apart, but it never put strain on our relationship. And when it did, I felt so guilty because it was all my fault. Nothing else ever mattered to me when I was with you, Isabelle. The car was nothing, racing was nothing because it was you and I, which was absolutely everything.

Even long before you passed, I found myself thinking about the things we used to do. I remember the night of our first kiss like it was yesterday; when the rain was pouring above us and it was exactly like your favourite scene in The Notebook, the film I bought us tickets to see but we missed it because I was too busy telling you how in love with you I was. I always felt bad about that because I knew how excited you were, but I don't think you minded much afterwards. I sat and thought about those nights in your bedroom when we would lie on your bed listening to the radio, because it simply was something we liked to do. The music was awful sometimes, but we did it because it became tradition. I looked forward to those evenings in your room, they made me feel at home. Chasing Cars would play every time; our song, the one song we loved more than any other. And I loved the way you would sing that one line to me. You would take my hand and hold my fingers gently, before singing that line so softly in my ear. On the Friday evenings when we would drink a glass of wine, when you'd dress in my jumper and a pair of knee high socks. I thought you looked so cute. I was so in love with you and those nights only made me realise just how much. Being young and in love with you made me the happiest boy in the world. I couldn't believe it was happening to me. I thought every night with you was a dream, because you were, and always will be, the most beautiful girl I have ever met.

I'm going to miss you for the rest of my life, Isabelle, but just because you aren't around anymore, doesn't mean we can't do all of things we wanted to. I proposed to you because I really do want you to be my one and only for the rest of my life. You will be. Nobody else will ever take your place. I don't ever want to replace you with anybody, because my heart, it beats for you and only you. To me, you will always be Isabelle Norris, exactly who you've always wanted to be."

I looked into the small audience in Louis' direction and he was chuckling to himself as a tear fell from his eye. I gave him a reassuring smile, before going back to the final part of my speech. Before speaking, I took the new chain which I wore around my neck between my fingers, smiling at the engagement ring which was hanging through it, pressing my lips against the cold metal.

"There will never be anybody who replaces you, Isabelle. I know you would want me to move on and be happy, but it feels so wrong to be with anybody else, when I am so devoted to you. I will wait forever and a day for you, if that's what it takes and I am always going to be the little, cute Lando you fell in love with. I promise that I will make you proud. Even though we went through a really rough patch, I will always want you to be happy and proud of the person that I become.

Isabelle?"

I stopped and bit on my lip, looking over at her coffin, before trailing my eyes slowly up to the sky, knowing that her soul was above me already.

"If I lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?"

I stepped away from the podium, wiping the tears on my cheeks away with my trembling eyes, as the whole room remained silent. I slid the paper back into the pocket of my trousers. I clutched tightly onto the red rose as I stepped over to the coffin which rested before all of us. I placed my hand against the wood, inhaling sharply. This was it. This was my final chance to say goodbye.

I pressed a kiss to the petals of the rose, before delicately placing it over the top of her coffin, my forehead resting on its side as I cried against the place where she was resting so peacefully.

"Goodnight, Isabelle. Sleep well until we meet again."

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reuploading this now, over one year since i first wrote and published it. my writing has improved so much, but i wanted this to be on my profile for you all to read. <3