Not Just A Teacher...

63

*Really Long Chapter

We leave the condo in a rush and Shawn speed walks on the streets while I try to catch up with him.
"Shawn you need to fucking calm down" I say out of breath but he continues to walk faster
"Teddy!!!" Shawn yells banging on the door
"Woah wtf happened?!!" Teddy gasps opening the door with a face mask on and in a bathrobe and slippers.
"I want to add something to Lost In Japan" Shawn states with a straight face
"Umm it's kinda late" She says
"Teddy please" Shawn begs
"Ok then" Teddy sighs and Shawn walks inside and I follow.

"Right what do you want to fix?" Teddy asks sitting on her wheelie chair
"Umm I think we need to add more background vocals" Shawn says while I sit on the couch
"Maybe let's listen to it first because I haven't heard what you've added on today" I suggest and Shawn looks back at me and just gives me a look then completely ignores my suggestion
"Maybe add that there" Shawn mumbles while leaning over Teddy's chair facing the computer. I decide to get up and look too because I've been signed to help with the production of Shawn's music so there's no reason I shouldn't be helping.

"So what have we got so far Teddy?" I ask
"Well Y/N, we've added a few more instruments in the background to give it more of a funky vibe" She says
"Cool, lets listen to it" I say looking at Shawn in the eyes
"Ok sure" Teddy responds and to me it sounds perfect but I guess I don't see what Shawn sees because he finds something at fault like usual.
"No I actually think I don't like one of the lyrics, I personally think it should be changed" He states
"Ok I kinda get what you mean" I say
"So maybe if we change that line from I was hoping I could get lost in your eyes tooo Umm paradise" I say and Teddy smiles
"So I'll show you" I continue as I sit down at the piano
"Do you got plans tonight baby? I was hoping I could get lost in your paradise" I sing while playing the keys
"Yh I love that!" Teddy squeals
"Hmmm I suppose it's ok not what I want though" Shawn says
"Okaayyyy what do YOU want then?" I say slightly exclaiming because I'm annoyed
"I don't know it's just that you're- " Shawn tries to say
"I'm what?" I giggle
"I don't think- " He tries to say
"Just spit it out Shawn" Teddy says
"CAN YOU JUST GO??!" Shawn yells
"Huh? Why?" I ask while my blood boils
"I'll just go and let you guys talk" Teddy says
"Bye Teddy" I say as she leaves
"I just don't want you here" Shawn says as I get up and face him
"Pfft I'm signed up to be a part of your production team. This is my job" I chuckle out of pure frustration
"I know but I just don't want you to help me anymore" He says
"Why not?!" I shout
"Because then I'd feel more comfortable" He sighs
"How am I....y-your girlfriend making you uncomfortable when making music?" I ask
"I just- " Shawn tries to say
"WHAT??!" I yell
"I JUST WANT TO DO THIS MUSIC SHIT BY MYSELF, JUST FUCK OFF!" Shawn yells and tears fall down my face
"So why did you bring me here? Am I just a sex doll that you come back home to and fuck?" I question
"What do you expect me to do now? You don't want me to follow my dreams?" I sob
"No,no I just! Uggghh I'm just having a hard time. I don't know what's happening to me. I just feel so anxious and panicky around making music" He says
"It's ok you're probably going through something, I think you're lashing out at me out of nowhere" I say trying to calm down while I try to hug him but I'm pushed away.
"No just leave.." Shawn mumbles
"FUCKING LEAVE!" He yells breathing weirdly it's almost like his breathing pattern is extremely off. I just walk off in pure frustration and anger.

I feel like somethings wrong with him....I don't know why but he's seems so off. Like he's so anxious all of a sudden..

I walk back home and it's extremely dark to be honest I feel unsafe just walking by myself in pitch black. I rush to the condo and go inside our room.
I jump into our bed and just cry my eyes out.

Did he really want me to leave? Does he want me to go?

I get changed and just go to sleep. I hear the door open and hear Shawn come into the bedroom.
"Hey" I whisper but he ignores me and just changes his jeans to sweatpants then goes to the living room. He doesn't come back so I assume he slept on the couch.

Why is he shutting me out? Does he not love me anymore or is there actually something wrong with him.

Next Morning...
I wake up and rush to the living room to see Shawn is gone. I check my phone and there's no text from him like yesterday. I just sigh and just stay at home because I'm not trying to get shouted at again.

After 2 hours...
Shawn thankfully comes home earlier than usual and I have a feeling Teddy told him to do that.
"Hey babe" I smile
"Hey" he mumbles and goes into the bedroom and locks it. I quickly rush to the door and knock on it.
"Shawn??!Are you ok?!" I exclaim but I get no response
"Shawn I know you didn't mean what you said yesterday. If you need someone to talk to when you're anxious? Or if you're possible facing anxiety from this music thing we could sort something out?" I ask with full intentions until the door suddenly opens to see a flustered and red faced Shawn.
"There's nothing wrong me!!" He yells
"Ok sorry but you've been acting up lately" I answer
"Why are you even here??! Why do you care about me?!Don't waste your fucking time with me!! Just leave! Didn't I tell you to leave yesterday??!" He shouts moving closer to me and I move back
"Shawn there's something wrong with you, I think you might have anxiety since you've been lashing out and fe- " I manage to say
"NO I DON'T!!STOP DIAGNOSING ME WITH SHIT, I DON'T HAVE!!!PLEASE Y/N JUST LEAVE I DONT WANNA TALK TO YOU!!" He yells going back inside the bedroom.

A few hours later...
Shawn still ignores me for the past hours but while I'm by myself I research anxiety and what it consists of and I'm not one to assume but the symptoms like lashing out/being irritable or feeling extremely stressed is Shawn. All of a sudden Andrew calls me.
"Hey is everything ok? Teddy told me about Shawn changing all of a sudden" Andrew says
"Umm not really...I think Shawn is developing anxiety" I sigh
"Really?" Andrew asks shocked
"He's been lashing out on me in particular like telling me to leave and not talk to him and he's just been so stressed it's not even funny" I say
"Oh wow" He responds
"I don't even think I can deal with it anymore because he just doesn't talk to me anymore" I sigh feeling like crying
"Well if it gets bad, then I think you should maybe take a break and leave for a bit" Andrew says
"No I can't just leave him alone" I answer
"I know but it's not good for your mental health if he keeps lashing out on you" Andrew says and I understand what he means
"Look I'm being serious if he wants you to go just go. I'll book you a hotel and I'll talk to him" He continues
"Ok Andrew, bye" I say