Alone With My Thoughts | Jikook

Chapter 11. 'Sweet' nothings

Jimin and Jin left for the front porch Jin closing the door behind the two as the dim light above allowed minimal lighting. It would be a lie if Jin said he wasn't worried about the younger.

Jimin silently turned around to face the older male without muttering a word, just staring. "Jimin? What happened to you?" Jin called calmly. Jimin just smiled slightly his eyes becoming glassy. "I can't do it hyung." he cried. "Do what Jimin?"

"I can't"

"Jimin?"

"I have to tell someone"

"Tell someone what?" Jin asked panicking slightly.

"It hurts"

"What does?"

"My chest, my arms, my body.. Hyung it wont go away" He continued waterfalls running down his face.

Jin became silent trying to process the males words.

"Hyung, I don't want to exist!" Jimin cried falling to his knees.

Jins eyes widened as his breath hitched. He slowly took a step towards the boy carefully reaching out his arm.  "J-Jimin"

"I want everything to stop!"

"Jimin its okay-"

"No Jin! Its not okay! It never was and never will be!" the boy wailed.

"J-Jimin" Jin ignored the fact he removed the honorific due to the situation.

"T-the world is cruel and I don't want to be apart of it anymore!" The boy cried hitting the floor

Jin ran to the sobbing boy and cradled him in a bear hug listening to the boys every sob until it went silent notifying him he could let go. "I know baby, I know. You're just sad, don't worry it will pass." Jimin slightly nodded wishing he could believe Jins words.

After around an hour Jimin felt it was safe to enter the house again after making Jin promise to not tell anyone. Jimin had vowed to himself to fix himself. 

Once they entered the house Namjoon came storming over, towering Jimin "Boi! I swear to Namjesus if you did anything with MY boyfriend I will slit that pretty little throat of yours!" Namjoon shot obviously joking, not to Jimin. 

"Yah! How dare you say his throat is pretty! What about mine!" Jin complained pouting. "Babe! You have a very sexy throat, perfect to litter with-" 

"TOADS!" Jin yelled.

  "My head!" Hoseok cried

"Then go to bed!" Yoongi screeched twerking on the table. Jin mentally face palming. "I swear to Namjesus! I leave you in charge for one hour and there all as drunk as a pink dolphin!" Jin exhaled and turned to Jimin dragging him to his bedroom, tucking him in his bed a soundless Jeongguk beside him.

For the first time Jin cursed Hitman Bang for swapping all the beds from two singles to one queen sized bed, now Jimin is stuck sleeping in the same bed as jeon jeongguk. Jimin gulped slightly as he snuggled into the covers Jin pecking his forehead and leaving the room to join the other members.

Jimin turned his back on Jeongguk staring directly at the wall until he felt a strong grip on his waist causing his breath to hitch. "J-Jeongguk..?" Jimin muttered receiving a hum in response. Jimin tried to pull the males hand of his waist which only resulted in being pulled closer and Jeongguks head being rested in the crook of the boys neck.

Jimin was lying if he said he didn't love this, this is what he craved. Jeongguk to hold him like this, for him to feel as though Jeongguk had even the slightest chance of loving him back, but of course. This was impossible. Jeongguk was straight, wasn't he?

'Awe look at my little Jimine~ Getting the attention he craves, to bad it took a crate of soju~ Oh and look at that~ Hes asleep, don't fool yourself! He is probably dreaming about Jennie and holding her close like what he is doing to you! Once he wakes up and realizes its you he will want to die, disgusting. Holding crap like you as if he cares? Hah! Stupid worthless piece of crap! Quit dreaming and open your eyes! No one cares and no one ever will! Jeongguk loves Jennie! Jeongguk is straight! Jin just wants to make you feel loved but he hates you! Namjoon threatened to slit your throat AND forgot you, what love from the caring leader? Yoongi just wants dick from a whore like you! Taehyung has insulted you behind your back oh so many times, you just never heard it! Hoseok acts like he cares about you only for the camera! You see? No one cares about you so the best thing you can do for everyone, even ARMY is die.'

With that Jimin soaked his pillow drowning his thoughts with the tears that wouldn't stop escaping his eyes, every passing day. 

To bad, but its too sweet.

Jimin didn't want to continue with this cruel world, soon even ARMY will turn on him. Anyway? Whats the point in being kind to others if there all fake?

Eventually Jimin fell asleep drowned in tears while Jeongguk continued to sleep soundly remained pressed against the older male muttering sweet nothings while sleeping.

The light of my future is dimming
Because of my childish love, I lost my way on a path of dream
The venom of my ambition, I sharpened my knife every day
But because of my uncontrollable greed,
My knife became dull
I know it all

This love is another name for the devil
Don't hold her hand
I shouted but turned away from my conscience
I feel the sharp reality more every day
There's red blood from being torn apart by reality
I never thought that
The greed would become the trumpet heralding hell
Breathe

My breath is getting shorter
I close my eyes every night from twisted reality
The music box of tragedy echoes
But in order to be free from this crime
It's impossible to forget and give up
Because those lips were too sweet

I threw my future away because I was drunk on dating
When I woke up, I was surrounded by land mines
Surrounded by people's stares that can't be touched
I shout for a miracle in this reality
(Rewind)
It was crazy good
I was an idiot addicted to sweetness
Yeah an idiot
I didn't want to let go of the devil's hand

Too bad but it's too sweet
It's too sweet it's too sweet
Too bad but it's too sweet
It's too sweet it's too sweet

Too bad but it's too sweet
It's too sweet it's too sweet
Too bad but it's too sweet
It's too sweet it's too sweet

It's too evil
It's too evil
It's too evil
Yeah it's evil