Alone With My Thoughts | Jikook

Chapter 14. Explaining

JUNGKOOKS POV;

"Jimin, are you really okay?" I stressed, I cant just let it slide that he looked so upset after the kiss, maybe I assumed too much? I thought he might have been gay... I guess I was wrong and great, I even kissed a straight man! Lifes great, he is probably disgusted by my actions..

I continued to stare directly at Jimin who refused to make eye contact as he hummed for a response, i'll let it slide this time hes probably just having a bad day.

AUTHORS POV;

Jimin had dove back onto the bed sitting legged crossed, eyes closed as he hummed gently to himself. The boy was deep in thought, 'It would be easier on everyone if I just distanced myself right? It would mean they would have one less problem to deal with right? Yeah, that would work..I guess I will have to start acting tougher, more than just not letting people see my true emotions. Just wake up, practice, repeat. Maybe eat?' Jimin thought to himself, the idea seeming pretty okay to him.

'You dumb fuck, they want more than you just ignoring them! They want you gone for good, they want you to disappear, but that itself is an understatement. They don't want you in BTS, they don't want you in their lives, they don't want you in ARMY's lives, ARMY don't want you either, they all want you dead. They all want your short, ugly, chubby no fat, ass six feet under where you can't ruin BTS more than you already do. Or you could keep listening to me, you spoilt ungrateful brat who only cares about yourself! Other people have feelings but you just ignore them and pity yourself, the world doesn't need someone like you so die.' The voice keeps getting stronger. Jimin sighed letting the words get to his head, slowly getting closer to his heart. Beginning to numb him.

Jimin stood up and pulled the covers up climbing in to the bed and wrapping himself tightly inside the covers so only his eyes and hair was visible, Jeongguk finding the sight cute to the point as to where he slowly took out his phone silently taking a photo of the boy trying t nap. Jeongguk understood the boy was tired walking back to the living-room to  wait for Jin to call everyone for lunch. The boy mindlessly turned the TV on scanning through the shows until he found a horror movie to watch, Taehyung noticing the movie and diving on the seat beside him the boy excitedly jumping up and down causing the younger male to laugh hysterically as he pressed play on the movie pinning Taehyung to the couch to stop him moving. "Stop moving Tae!" Jeongguk laughed.

About half way through the movie Jin called the boys in for lunch as the they all took their seats there was one empty chair, Jimin. Jin looked to Jeongguk. "Gguk? Could you go get Jimin please?" Jin asked sweetly, Jeongguk snapping his head in Jins direction and gulping harshly. "S-Sure hyung" Jeongguk slowly stood up and walked to his shared room with Jimin slowly and carefully opening his door and peeking his head in as he spotted the boy still asleep he carefully crept t the males side gently placing his hand on the sleeping boys face and cupping it, admiring his beauty while he had the chance he memorised every feature he could spot. All the beautiful imperfections and the perfections. "Jimin~ Its time for lunch~" Jeongguk hummed staring adoringly at the male who slowly opened his eyes gently rubbing them to clear his vision. "J-Jeongguk?" Jimin muttered once he realised the male was cupping his face.

Jeongguk released the olders face ruffling his hair. "Its time for lunch, hyung~" He hummed exiting the room leaving the older male to sigh and slowly leave for the kitchen. The boy carefully sat down and filled his bowl with food. "MOCHI!" Taehyung yelled pinching the boys cheeks, causing Jeongguk to sharply poke his tongue against his inner cheek. Jimin looked to Hoseok with pleading eyes. "He's in 4D mode today, sorry~" Hoseok hummed filling his bowl with food. Everyone had become quite loud talking about everything and anything but Jimin kept silent keeping his head held low while he ate silently.

'Why do I even feel this way? What did I do wrong? Why do I feel so hurt? So sad? So..numb? I don't like how i'm feeling, I don't want to feel this way. Why wont it go away? It hurts so bad..Please make it stop..Please..' Jimin was so lost in thought he didn't notice the stream of tears running down his cheeks nor to silence of the group. "Jimin? Your tears are gonna make the food soggy!" Yoongi sighed as Jimin looked at him in confusion before feeling his cheeks, they were wet. Jimin quickly wiped his tears with the back of his hand and stood up bowing to the members and leaving for his room without saying a single word.

Jimin had become the groups discussion after the crying boy left the room. "Whats up with him? Why was he crying?" Hoseok questioned. "Why didn't he notice as well?" Namjoon questioned. his 148 IQ currently failing him. "Jiminie hyung, hasn't been himself lately." Jeongguk concluded glaring daggers at Taehyung who was now hiding behind Hoseoks arm who was giggling at his boyfriends actions. "Jin? Do you think it was because of what happened earlier?" Jeongguk asked Jin, confusing the other members. "Why? What happened earlier?" Taehyung giggled. Jin looked at Jeongguk. "Jeongguk, if i'm being 100% honest I don't know. There is a chance that could be the reason though.." Jin replied sympathy filling his eyes. "Jeongguk, answer me honestly right now, did that really mean nothing to you?" Jeongguks eyes widened he could feel his face heating up at the thought. He hung his head low in shame. "Of course it did.." He muttered, Jin walking over to the boy and ruffling his hair before hugging him tightly. At this point the other members were just confused.

"Mind telling us what the fuck is going on??" Yoongi whisper yelled at the two boys. Jin looking at Jeongguk as if to say 'do you mind telling them?' Jeongguk shook his head. "E-Earlier I-I kissed J-Jimin.." Jeongguk muttered hanging his head low Taehyung gasping quite dramatically. "How does Jinnie know this?" Namjoon questioned. "I walked in on it Joonie.." Jin explained. "Where?" Yoongi questioned. "Couch.." Jeongguk muttered. "Why?" Hoseok asked. "I-I don't k-know, I-I just w-wanted to.." he explained Hoseok stood up and slapped the back of Jeongguks head "That for not using you brain!" Then he pulled him into a tight hug "But this is for using your heart." Taehyung was then sitting on Hoseoks chair pouting he wasn't the one getting a hug off HIS boyfriend, perks of being in 4D mode.

"Jeongguk, did he kiss back? Or push you or what?" Namjoon questioned. Jeongguks head shot up his face had become so red.  "H-He kissed b-back.." the male explained, Yoongi smiling at the news. "H-Hyung? Why are y-you smiling?" Jeongguk stuttered. Yoongi shrugged. "I don't know, I guess its pretty good news" he explained. "What?" Jeongguk questioned but Yoongi just smirked "You will see soon enough~" He cooed to the desperate male across from him.